Interviewer Lines

[Show Starts]

Good evening everybody! I am your host [insert actors name], and you're watching today's episode of Sink or Swim: relationships with tragic ends. Today, we have a special guest! The one and only Rose DeWitt Bukater, as she recounts her time spent on the Titanic.

OLD ROSE: I remember it like it was yesterday. →

Do tell, Rose.

OLD ROSE: But the whole time, I knew I would survive. →

Really? How did you know?

OLD ROSE: Because I survived him. →

What do you mean by that? And who is "him?" Surely you aren't talking about your ex-fiancé—the one and only Mr. Cal Hockley—right?...

YOUNG ROSE: Can you imagine that? What it was like to put up with him? I would rather drown and freeze to death— →

Well... you certainly came close.

OLD ROSE: But him. Jack Dawson. He, I survived. But not without scars. Quite honestly, I was young and stupid. →

Did Jack know this? That you didn't love him?

OLD ROSE: Look, he was cute! He was a handsome, attractive young man! →

The fling was quick.

OLD ROSE: Much too short to fall in love. →

Would you like to continue the story?

OLD ROSE: I saw the life-boat. →

It's a miracle you were pulled from that door. It's a shame Jack couldn't also fit.

OLD ROSE: [Glances at younger self] I told myself that. Over and over. But I didn't believe it. →

Really? And why would that be?

OLD ROSE: I said that to cope because I knew the truth... I didn't want him to fit. →

Rose! [Jack rises from audience]

JACK: Yep! And as young as ever! →

I will NOT tolerate any disruptions during this interview! We run a tight ship here. Commercial breaks already take up half our time on air, so whatever you have to say, make it good.

JACK: My body is at the bottom of the cold, deep Atlantic. Now, can you explain yourself?! →

[Starts eating popcorn] Now, this! This is good television! Oh I can already hear the TV ratings soaring through the roof! Now spill the tea!

YOUNG ROSE: Oh Jack! Draw me like one of your French girls! →

Rose, is this why you complained about your back earlier?

YOUNG ROSE: Touché. Oh, and for the record? I didn't mean what I said about Cal. →

Quit the sappiness, this isn't the Bachelor!

OLD ROSE: Where was I? →

You didn't want him to fit on the door.

JACK pours water on Rose →

Mind the couch please! My God! It's vintage.

Lights fade on Jack and Rose →

Awww, well wasn't that adorable? Well, ladies and gentlemen. That's all we have time for on tonight's special of sink or swim; relationships with tragic ends. Though I must say; today's episode thankfully had a happy ending! As always, you can catch the next episode of Sink or Swim tomorrow night here on channel 308 at the same time! Thank you, and see you next time!