CMNS 1140 - Part8: Interpersonal communications

What should you do if you think peer-given feedback is wrong?

Talk to the instructor

What’s one way to improve feedback?

Give discretion and ask for the desired type of feedback

Steps in giving peer feedback

• Listen to the writer

• Be kind

• Comment on the higher-order concerns first

• Use “I” statements

• Be specific

• Ask advice

Steps in giving peer feedback (con’t)

• Offer advice based on experience

• Don’t change the original writing style

• Don’t edit for your peer

• Mention what works well AND what could be improved

Positive conflict

Conflict with positive outcomes, and all parties respectfully and professionally search for outcomes that are agreeable

Positive conflict example

You and a colleague are focused on discussing the issues and what tools to use, why, and how they might help the promotion of a product; you listen to each other actively and respectfully, and then you will likely reach a solution that works for both of you

Negative conflict

When the focus shifts away from finding a solution that works for everyone and towards causing harm

Negative conflict example

Instead of listening to your colleague as they explained their reasons for the tools they selected for a project, you stormed out of the meeting and refused to answer follow-up emails from your colleague

Why may conflicts arise?

When incompatible goals, scarce resources, or interference are present

Avoidance

A conflict management strategy where one chooses to change the subject, leave the room, or not even enter the room in the first place, but the conflict will remain/resurface when least expected

Allows for more time to resolve the problem, but can also increase costs associated with problem in the first place

Face-detracting and face-saving

Face-detracting are messages or statements that take away from the respect, integrity, or credibility of a person

Face-saving strategies protect credibility and separate message from messenger

Face-detracting and face-saving (con’t)

Face-detracting strategies often produce a defensive communication climate, inhibit listening, and allow for little room for collaboration. To save-face is to raise the issue while preserving a supportive climate, allowing room in the conversation for constructive discussions and problem solving.

Face-detracting and face-saving example

“sales were down this quarter,” without specifically noting who was responsible. Sales were simply down. If, however, you ask, “How does the sales manager explain the decline in sales?” you have specifically connected an individual with the negative news

Empathy

Listening to both the literal and implied meanings within a message. By paying attention to feelings and emotions associated with content and information, we can build relationships and address conflict more constructively.

Managing emotions

Recognizing when emotions are on edge in yourself or others, and choosing to wait to communicate, problem-solve, or negotiate until after the moment has passed.

Managing emotions (con’t)

Awareness of them can help you clear your mind and choose to wait until the moment has passed to solve the conflict

Learning from experience

Every communication interaction provides an opportunity for learning if you choose to see it. Sometimes the lessons are situational and may not apply in future contexts

Perks of organization

You’ll know what the audience will want to know, say, or hear, and prepare statements and visual aids to support your speech and create the timing, organization, and presentation of each point in order to respond effectively and make an impact

Treating public speaking like a conversation

The rules we play comfortably by in conversation every day are the same as we shift to a larger conversation within the context of public speaking

Verbal cues which make a successful presentation

• Use pitch inflections to enhance delivery

• Use an appropriate volume depending on the environment

• Stress certain words in your speech to add emphasis

• Practice saying each word distinctly

• Account for the pace at which you speak, since it influences how well the audience can understand you

• Minimize filler words like “um” and “uh”

Non-verbal cues which make a successful presentation

• Minimize movements/gestures that may come off as distracting

• Maintain good eye contact with the audience

• Stay silent at times, as it can add emphasis and dramatic effect when speaking

Presentation techniques

• Audience references – Highlight something common to the audience that will make them interested in the topic.

• Current events – Refer to a current event in the news that demonstrates the relevance of your topic to the audience.

• Question – Ask either a question that asks for a response from your audience, or a rhetorical question, which does not need a response but is designed to get them thinking about the topic.

• Personal reference – Refer to a story about yourself that is relevant to the topic.

• Storytelling – Include an anecdote, a narrative, or a story.

Contingency planning

Preparing for the worst-case scenario to minimize the negative effect(s)

Preparing to present

• Practise and rehearse

• Test all equipment

• Try to access the room in which the presentation will be in to get a feel for it

Forming

Group members begin to reduce uncertainty associated with new relationships and/or new tasks through initial interactions that lay the foundation for later group dynamics.

Groups return to this stage as group members come and go over the life span of a group

Storming

Conflict emerges as people begin to perform their various roles, have their ideas heard, and negotiate where they fit in the group’s structure. The uncertainty present in the forming stage begins to give way as people begin to occupy specific roles and the purpose, rules, and norms of a group become clearer.

Norming

The practices and expectations of the group are solidified, which leads to more stability, productivity, and cohesion within the group. Group norms are behaviours that become routine but are not explicitly taught or stated.

Performing

During the performing stage of group development, group members work relatively smoothly toward the completion of a task or the achievement of a purpose; the relational aspects of group interaction provide an underlying support for the group members

Adjourning

The adjourning stage of group development occurs when a group dissolves because it has completed its purpose or goal or for reasons surrounding its members

How to make the most of adjourning

Have some guided and purposeful reflection

e.g. A party to celebrate, learning for the future from failed experiences

The listening process

The learned process of receiving, interpreting, recalling, evaluating, and responding to verbal and nonverbal messages; it has no defined start nor end

Receiving

Taking in information needed for listening through auditory, nonverbal and visual channels

e.g. Seeing a person’s face when we hear their voice allows us to take in nonverbal cues from facial expressions and eye contact

Interpreting

Deriving meaning from the information that was received

Recalling

An important part of the listening process because it is most often used to assess listening abilities and effectiveness

Evaluating

Evaluating the worth of a message by making a value judgment about whether we think the message or idea is good/bad, right/wrong, or desirable/undesirable

Responding

Sending verbal and nonverbal messages that indicate attentiveness and understanding or a lack thereof.

Back-channel cues

Verbal and nonverbal signals we send while someone is talking; is a form of positive feedback

e.g. verbal cues like “uh-huh,” “oh,” and “right,” and/or nonverbal cues like direct eye contact, head nods, and leaning forward.

Benefits of paraphrasing

Showing you understand what was communicated. When you paraphrase information, you rephrase the message into your own words

e.g. saying a paraphrased response: “What I heard you say was…” or “It seems like you’re saying…”

Benefits of paraphrasing (con’t)

It can be a means to ask clarifying questions to get more information. It is often a good idea to pair a paraphrase with a question to keep a conversation flowing.

e.g. Posing the following paraphrase and question pair: “It seems like you believe you were treated unfairly. Is that right?”

Active listening

The process of pairing outwardly visible positive listening behaviours with positive cognitive listening practices and can help address many of the environmental, physical, cognitive, and personal barriers to effective listening you may encounter.

How to be an active listener

• Avoid important listening activities during times of distracting psychological or physiological noise

• Work to maintain focus as much as possible and refocus when attention shifts or fades

• Maintain eye contact

Listening in professional contexts

• Managers are wise to enhance their empathetic listening skills, as being able to empathize with employees contributes to a positive communication climate

• Active listening among organizational members also promotes involvement and increases motivation, which leads to more cohesion and enhances the communication climate.

A more direct way to indicate active listening

Reference previous statements made by the speaker by summarizing statements, asking questions, and inviting other people to speak

Listening with empathy

Intercultural communication

When people between subgroups of the same country communicate

e.g. Distinctions between dialects in the same language, the differences in perspective between an Eastern Canadian and a Western Canadian

Culture

The shared beliefs, values, and assumptions of a group of people who learn from one another; and teach others that their behaviours, attitudes, and perspectives are the correct ways to think, act, and feel

5 ways to think about culture

• Culture is learned.

• Culture is shared.

• Culture is dynamic.

• Culture is systemic.

• Culture is symbolic.

Multiculturalism

A rather surface approach to the coexistence and tolerance of different cultures with a perspective of “us and the others”, and typically focuses on those tip-of-the-iceberg features of culture,highlighting and accepting some differences

Cross cultural

Goes a bit deeper, the goal being to be more diplomatic or sensitive

A draw back of cross cultural approaches

It can go into stereotyping and ethnocentric attitudes—judging other cultures by our own cultural standards—if we aren’t mindful

Intercultural approaches

Intentionally making efforts to better understand other cultures as well as ourselves; it’s a difficult and messy process

Hofstede’s dimensions

Places cultural dimensions on a continuum that range from high to low

Power distance

High power distance means a culture accepts and expects a great deal of hierarchy; low power distance means the president and janitor could be on the same level.

Individualism

High individualism means that a culture tends to put individual needs ahead of group or collective needs

Uncertainty avoidance

High uncertainty avoidance means a culture tends to go to some lengths to be able to predict and control the future. Low uncertainty avoidance means the culture is more relaxed about the future, which sometimes shows in being willing to take risks

Masuclinity

High masculinity relates to a society valuing traits that were traditionally considered masculine, such as competition, aggressiveness, and achievement. A low masculinity score demonstrates traits that were traditionally considered feminine, such as cooperation, caring, and quality of life

Long-term orientation

High long-term orientation means a culture tends to take a long-term, sometimes multi-generational view when making decisions about the present and the future. Low long-term orientation is often demonstrated in cultures that want quick results and that tend to spend instead of save

Indulgence

High indulgence means cultures that are okay with people indulging their desires and impulses. Low indulgence or restraint-based cultures value people who control or suppress desires and impulses

Trompenaars

Help us understand some of those beneath-the-surface-of-the-iceberg elements of culture

Universalism vs. particularism

The extent that a culture is more prone to apply rules and laws as a way of ensuring fairness, in contrast to a culture that looks at the specifics of context and looks at who is involved, to ensure fairness. The former puts the task first; the latter puts the relationship first

Individualism vs. communitarianism

The extent that people prioritize individual interests versus the community’s interest

Specific vs. diffuse

The extent that a culture prioritizes a head-down, task-focused approach to doing work, versus an inclusive, overlapping relationship between life and work

Neutral vs. emotional

The extent that a culture works to avoid showing emotion versus a culture that values a display or expression of emotion

Achievement vs. ascription

The degree to which a culture values earned achievement in what you do versus ascribed qualities related to who you are, based on elements like title, lineage, or position

Sequential time vs. synchronous time

The degree to which a culture prefers doing things one at time in an orderly fashion versus preferring a more flexible approach to time with the ability to do many things at once

Internal direction vs. outer direction

The degree to which members of a culture believe they have control over themselves and their environment, versus being more conscious of how they need to conform to the external environment

High context culture

A shared understanding is implied and highly contextual, and thus agreements are verbal

Low context culture

Highly detailed, written agreements that are signed by both parties, sometimes mediated through specialists like lawyers, as a way to enforce the agreement

Not much is left to the imagination or “context.”

What should be done when working with others?

Educate yourself on the culture, customs, etiquette, etc

The Intercultural Development Continuum

1. Denial

2. Polarization

3. Minimization

4. Acceptance

5. Adaptation

Denial

Denying that a problem is present. It’s a monocultural mindset where diversity is ignored

Polarization

When one accepts that cultural differences exist, but views it as a '“us vs. them” ordeal

Polarization (con’t)

Reinforces already-existing biases and stereotypes and misses out on nuanced understanding and empathy, makes diversity seem ‘uncomfortable’

Minimization

Recognizes that there are cultural differences, even significant ones, but tends to focus on universal commonalities that can mask or paper over other important cultural distinctions.

Diversity feels unheard

Acceptance

A recognition and deeper appreciation of both their own and others’ cultural differences and commonalities is the first dimension that exhibits a more intercultural mindset; people are better able to detect cultural patterns and are able to see how those patterns make sense in their own and other cultural contexts

Diversity feels understood

Adaptation

An ability not only to recognize different cultural patterns in oneself and other cultures but also to effectively adapt one’s mindset or behaviour to suit the cultural context authentically.

Diversity feels valued and involved.