The day the internet dies- Peter

Hello everyone and thank you for coming today. As you all know, no group has been

more affected by this internet blackout than us TikTokers. Whether you make content, like

many of us here, or if you’re one of the creeps who just likes to watch. Either way, today,

we’re here for you. We’re here for all of you, with no judgment.

Uh, just to be clear. You say this is a no judgement space. But you also said that people

who just watch TikTok and don’t make content are creeps. Which kind of feels like...you

are judging some of us?

I promise you I’m not, Peter. At TikTok Support, all are welcome to share your pain,

your loss, and your struggles. Even the looky-loos who aren’t creative and have nothing to

offer.

But we make up the majority of TikTok users! Most of us don’t post anything; we just

Enjoy the content!

SHELLY: Fine. Peter. The “looker.” Come on up and speak.

(PETER walks up.)

PETER: Uh. Thanks Shelly. I’ll be brief because clearly you’re not wild about me being here.

Look, I just wanted to say I love TikTok. And Jazmovs, CornDog, and Pasta-Kitty. You were

some of my favorite follows. But being here, and hearing your stories in person, it’s made me

realize...uh...I think we all need to take a break. Because Toks have definitely distorted our

reality in an unhealthy way. I mean, Jasmine, you are actually a good dancer. I don’t know

why everyone booed when you started dancing, you’re great. And CornDog, you should

really leave and go visit your dad in the hospital. Seriously. Why are you here? Go! And

Shelly? Your cat looks very unhealthy. She needs to eat foods other than pasta. That’s all.

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