word cue theory - attraction

ending of relationships

Attribution style and communication

ATTRIBUTION – inferring CAUSE: IS IT – internal OR external

TWO BIASES

1.      Fundamental attribution error (others = internal) + external, unstable, specific – internal stable, global. DISTRESS MAINTAINING = blame and criticism

2.      Self-serving bias (me = internal, not external) + internal, stable, global – external, stable, specific. RELATIONSHIP ENHANCING = validation and support

THEIR IMPACT ON COMMUNICATION

result of fundamental attribution error IS The 4 horsemen theory = 4 maladaptive communication strategies that end a relationship and result in increased physiological arousal

1.      CRITICISM – blaming character traits for actions (internal) LEADS TO DEFENSIVENESS,

2. CONTEMPT – (stable + global attribution) active dislike/belittling of the person LEADS TO STONEWALLING,

3. DEFENSIVENESS – counterattack, do not accept feedback,

4. STONEWALLING – disengaging from person + relationship

HIGHLIGHT continual negative communication patterns END the relationships. negative communication patterns INCLUDE horsemen AND fundamental attribution error

communication in relationships

Attribution style and communication

ATTRIBUTION – inferring CAUSE: IS IT – internal OR external

TWO BIASES

1.      Fundamental attribution error (others = internal) + external, unstable, specific – internal stable, global. DISTRESS MAINTAINING = blame and criticism

2.      Self-serving bias (me = internal, not external) + internal, stable, global – external, stable, specific. RELATIONSHIP ENHANCING = validation and support

THEIR IMPACT ON COMMUNICATION

result of fundamental attribution error IS The 4 horsemen theory = 4 maladaptive communication strategies that end a relationship and result in increased physiological arousal

1.      CRITICISM – blaming character traits for actions (internal) LEADS TO DEFENSIVENESS,

2. CONTEMPT – (stable + global attribution) active dislike/belittling of the person LEADS TO STONEWALLING,

3. DEFENSIVENESS – counterattack, do not accept feedback,

4. STONEWALLING – disengaging from person + relationship

HIGHLIGHT the communication patterns, the four horsemen are negative forms of communication along with fundamental attribution error, and self serving bias but is RELATIONSHIP ENHANCING

sociocultural explanations

Social influences on attraction IS

The Mere-Exposure Effect – developing a preference for familiar things/people +

Similarity – sharing similar characteristics = in-group favouritism (increase self-esteem)

= ATTRACTION – we form relationships with those in our wider social group.

CULTURAL INFLUENCES ON ATTRACTION:

-          “Passionate love” as number one is western – AND support that is not the only model for a happy relationship

Cultural norms – societal expectations that influence behaviour

-          Physical traits, influenced by media and often very culture specific AND Traits that are valuable is influenced by cultural norms

cognitive explanations

Attachment style – schemas influences relationships later in life

4 different styles

Secures – safety is love, intimacy is cherished “ideal partner), Anxious – chemistry = love, intimacy is needed, attracted to Avoidants – independence = love, intimacy is scary, Disorganised – confusion is love, inconsistent desire, volatile

 

Other cognitive explanations – dual processing model (system 1 vs system 2) –

2 systems of thinking, 1, fast/instantaneous and unconscious, usually automatic, everyday decisions and is inaccurate. 2, slow, conscious, effortful/demanding and used in known decisions and is accurate reflects all info

SYSTEM 2: similarity attraction – seek partners who share interests. EVIDENT in online dating. = COMPATABILITY, communication and increased self-esteem

SYSTEM 1: halo effect – the tendency for an impression created in one area to influence opinion

-          Heuristic/shortcut – evaluating a person, including them as a partner off one trait – DATING = physical attractiveness.

biological explanations

Neurotransmitters vs hormones

-          BIG assumption – chemical messengers are released when we “act on” attraction to reward us to form relationships

NEUROTRANSMITTER – DOPAMINE, is fast acting, in synapses. YOU FOCUS ON THE ATTRACTIVE PERSON then – neurons release dopamine. CREATES mood instability, physical arousal and the desire to continue the focus. Also known as the ‘love cocktail.’ MORE focus on person, MORE likelihood of mating

HORMONES – OXYTOCIN, slow acting, in the bloodstream. RELEASED intimate and close relationship/bonding INTO THE BLOODSTREAM. This CREATES attachment, safety and fidelity. STAY in relationships (monogamous) to nurture offspring.

 there are also biological evolutionary explanaitons