Much Ado About No Thing Leonato Lines

[Start of Show]

Leonato: I learn in the letter, that Don Pedro, prince and captain of the Aragon, comes this night to dock at Messina.

Ursala: He is very near by this: he was not three Leagues when I left him.

Leonato: How many Gentlemen were lost in this action?

Ursala: But few of any sort, and none of name.

Leonato: I find here that Don Pedro hath bestowed much honor on a young Florentine, called Claudio.

Beatrice: It is so indeed, he is no less than a stuff’d man.

Leonato: You must not (brother Anthonio) mistake my Niece, there is a kind of merry war betwixt signior Benedicke, and her: they never meet, but there’s a skirmish of wit between them.

Beatrice: … God help the noble Claudio, if he have caught the Benedicke.

Leonato: You will never run mad niece.

Don Pedro: Good Sgnoir Leonato, you are come to meet your trouble: the fashion of the world is to avoid cost, and you encounter it.

Leonato: Never came trouble to my house in the likeness of your Grace.

Don Pedro: You embrace your charge too willingly: I think this is your daughter.

Leonato: Her mother hath many times told me so.

Benedicke: Were you in doubt that you ask’d her?

Leonato: Signior Benedicke, no.

Don Pedro: Signior Claudo, and Signior Benedicke; my dear friend Leonato, hath invited you all, I tell him we shall stay here, at least a month.

Leonato: Let me bid you welcome, my Lord, being reconciled to the Prince your brother: I owe you all duty.

Don John: Thank you, I am not of many words, but I thank you.

Leonato: Please it your grace lead on.

Borachio: We’ll wait upon your lordship.

[Enter] Leonato: By my troth Niece, thou wilt never get thee a husband, if thou be so shrewd of thy tongue.

Beatrice: God send me no husband, for the which blessing, I am at him upon my knees every morning and evenin: Lord, I could not endure a husband with a beard on is face, I had rather lie in the woollen.

Leonato: You may light upon a husband that hath no beard.

Beatrice: What should I do with him? Dress him in my apparel and make him my waiting gentlewoman? He that hath a beard, is more than a youth: and he that hath no beard, is less than a man: and he that is more than a youth is not for me.

Leonato: Well daughter, I trust you will be rul’d by your father.

Beatrice: Yes faith, it is my cousin’s duty to make curtsy, and say, father as it pleases you: but yet for all that cousin, let him be a handsome fellow, or else make another curtsy, and say, father, as it pleases me.

Leonato: Well niece, I hope you see you one day fitted with a husband.

Beatrice: Not til God make men of some other metal than earth, would it not grieve a woman to be overmastered with a piece of valiant dust? No uncle, I’ll none.

Leonato: Daughter, remember what I told you, if the Prince do solicit you in that kind, you know your answer.

Beatrice: The fault will be in the music cousin, if you be not wooed in good time: if the Prince be too important, tell me there is measure in everything, and so dance out the answer.

Leonato: The reveler’s are entring daughter, make good room.

Don Pedro: … I have broke with her father, and his good will obtained, name the day of marriage, and God give thee joy.

Leonato: Count, take of me my daughter, and with her my fortunes: his grace hath made the match and all grace say, Amen to it.

Beatrice: No sure my Lord, my Mother cried, but then there was a star danc’d, and under that I was born: cousins God give you joy.

Leonato: Niece, will you look to those things I told you of?

Don Pedro: By my troth a pleasant spirited Lady.

Leonato: There’s little of the melancholy element in her my Lord, she is never sad, but when she sleeps, and not ever sad then: for I have heard my daughter say, she hath often dreamt of unhappiness, and wak’d herself with laughing.

Don Pedro: She cannot endure to hear tell of a husband.

Leonato: O, by no means, she mocks all her wooers out of suit.

Don Pedro: She were an excellent wife for Benedicke.

Leonato: O Lord, my Lord, if there were but a week married, they would talk themselves mad.

Claudio: Tomorrow my Lord, Time goes on crutches, till Love have all his rites.

Leonato: Not till Monday, my dear son, which is hence a just seven night, and a time too brief too, to have all things answer in my mind.

Don Pedro: … I woulud fain have it a match, and I doubt not but to fashion it, if you three but minister such assistance as I shall give you direction.

Leonato: My Lord, I am for you.

Claudio: I did never think that Lady would have loved any man.

Leonato: No nor I neither, but most wonderful, that she should so dote on Signior Benedicke, whom she hath in all outward behaviors seemed ever to abhor.

Claudio: Faith like enough.

Leonato: O God! Counterfeit? There was ever such counterfeit of passion, came so near the life of passion as she discovers it.

Don Pedro: Why what effects the passion shows she?

Leonato: What effects my Lord? You heard my daughter tell you how.

Don Pedro: How, how I pray you? You amaze me, I would have thought her spirit had been invincible against all assaults of affection.

Leonato: I would have sworn it had, my Lord, especially against Benedicke.

Don Pedro: Hath she made her affection known to Benedicke?

Leonato: No, and she swears she never will, that’s her torment.

Claudio: ‘Tis true indeed, so your daughter says: shall I, says she, that have so oft encountered him with scorn, write to him that I love him?

Leonato: This says she now when she is beginning to write to him, for she’ll up twenty times a night and there will she sit in her smock, till she ahve writ a sheet of paper.

Claudio: To what end? He would but make a sport of it, and torment the poor Lady worse.

Leonato: I am sorry for her.

Don Pedro: I pray you tell Benedicke of it, and hear what he will say.

Leonato: Were it good think you?

Don Pedro: … I love Benedicke well, and I could wish he would modestly examine himself, to se ehow much he is unworthy to have so good a Lady.

Leonato: My Lord, will you walk? Dinner is ready.

Benedicke: Gallants, I am not as I have been.

Leonato: So say I, methinks you are sadder.

Conrade: A commodity in question I warrant you, come we’ll obey you.

Leonato: What would you with me, honest neighbor?

Dogberry: Marry sir I would have some confidence with you, that discerns you nearly.

Leonato: Brief I pray you, for you see it as a busy time with me.

Verges: Yes in truth it is sir.

Leonato: What is it? Neighbors you are tedious.

Dogberry: It pleases your worship to say so, but we are the poor Duke’s officers, but truly for mine own part, if I were as tedious as a King I could find it in my heart to bestow it all on your worship.

Leonato: All thy tediousness on me?

Dogberry: Yea.

Verges: And I.

Leonato: I would fain know what you have to say.

Dogberry: Well said i’faith neighbor Verges. Our watch have indeed comprehended two aspitious persons, and we would have them this morning examined before your worship.

Leonato: Take their examination yourself, and bring it to me, I am now in great haste, as I must give my daughter to her husband. [EXIT LEONATO]

Friar: You come hither, my Lord, to marry this Lady.

Claudio: No.

Leonato: To be married to her: Friar, you come to marry her.