PSYC2040 WEEK 11

THREE-FACTOR THEORY OF LOVE 

• Cultural determinant that acknowledges the concept of love 

• An appropriate love object present 

• Emotional arousal, self-labelled as 'love' 

  • Felt when interacting with/thinking about love object 

PORNOGRAPHY AND RELATIONSHIPS

• frequency of women’s porn use typically associated with better relationship outcomes

• frequency of man’s porn use typically associated with worse relationship outcomes

COMPANIONATE LOVE =

intimacy + commitment WITHOUT passion

LIKING LOVE =

intimacy alone

FATUOUS LOVE =

Passion + commitment WITHOUT intimacy

EMPTY LOVE =

commitment only

STERNBERG'S TRIANGULAR THEORY OF LOVE 

Intimacy 

• Closeness, bondedness, connectedness 

Passion 

• Physical attraction, desire, sexual consummation 

Commitment 

• Devotion, decision to stay in relationship 

WHY DO WE LOVE - EVOLUTIONARY APPROACH

Love is adaptive and facilitates successful reproductive outcomes 

• Sexual access 

• Sexual fidelity 

• Relationship exclusivity 

• Pooling of resources 

• Parental investment 

WHY DO WE LOVE

Fundamental needs: 

• Love satisfies need to belong 

Instrumental learning: 

• Love is pleasurable, rewarding and reinforcing 

Evaluative learning: 

• Love is psychologically associated with positive emotions and experiences 

SOCIAL EXPANSION THEORY

• Humans have a fundamental need to expand and grow as individuals 

• Love and close relationships can satisfy this need 

  • Psychological expansion 

  • Social expansion 

  • Material growth 

  • Experimental growth 

ATTRACTION - PROPINQUITY

• We tend to be attracted to people who are closer in proximity to us 

• Familiarity = Greater propinquity -> greater exposure 

• Law of probability = Greater propinquity -> greater chance of meeting 

ATTRACTION - SIMILARITY

• We tend to be attracted to people who are more similar to us  

• Both actual and perceived similarity matter 

• Compatibility = powerful determinant of attraction 

• Difficult to sustain relationship with someone fundamentally incompatible with you  

ASSORTATIVE MATING

• Non-random coupling of individuals based on their resemblance to each other on a range of genetic and social dimension 

• Note that sometimes we seek differences on some dimensions 

  • Sometimes we seek complimentary traits in partners 

ATTRACTION - RECIPROCITY

• We tend to be attracted to people who we learn are attracted to us  

• Being liked -> positive feelings 

• Generalised attraction (if someone falls too easily) = less reciprocated romantic desire 

• Dyadic attraction(if someone is selective) = more reciprocated romantic desire 

THE MATCHING HYPOTHESIS

People are more likely to form relationships with those who are of approximately equal attractiveness to themselves 

WHAT IS CONSIDERED PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE?

Facial symmetry 

• Indicator of health and genetic quality 

Hourglass women 

• Indicator of health and fertility in women 

'V' shaped men 

• Indicator of health, dominance, ability to protect/provide 

EVOLUTIONARY PERSPECTIVES - WOMEN

Women: 

• Reproduction is costly 

• Restricted number of offspring 

• Maternal certainty 

What women want: 

• Care about personality, status, resources 

• Selective about who to partner with 

EVOLUTIONARY PERSPECTIVES - MEN

Men: 

• Reproduction is easy 

• Large number of offspring possible  

• Paternal uncertainty 

What men want: 

• Care about youth, attractiveness 

• No pressure to be choosy 

• Desire many partners 

SEXUAL DOUBLE STANDARD

• Women evaluated more negatively than men if they accept casual sex offers 

• More likely than men to believe they will be judged harshly for casual sex 

• Less likely than men to accept casual sex invitations 

• Women aware of this double standard 

JEALOUSY AND INFIDELITY

Emotional Infidelity 

• When a person in a relationship forms a deep emotional connection to someone outside the relationship 

Sexual Infidelity 

• When a person in a relationship engages in sexual intercourse with someone outside the relationship  

 

• Women experience greater jealousy over emotional infidelity 

• Men experience greater jealousy over sexual infidelity  

PARTNER IDEALS

• Warmth-trustworthiness 

• Vitality-attractiveness 

• Status-resources 

• We may prioritise some dimensions over others, but all important 

• Higher a person is on all three dimensions, the more 'ideal' they are 

SOCIAL EXCHANGE THEORY - MINIMAX STRATEGY

• Decision to engage in any behaviour based on cost-benefit analysis 

• People weigh up benefits and costs when deciding to commit/stay/leave a relationship 

• If benefits > costs, we profit and have greater relationship satisfaction 

Minimax strategy 

• We are motivated to maximise benefits and minimise costs in relationships  

COMPARISON LEVEL - SOCIAL EXCHANGE THEORY

• A standard that develops over time which represents minimum profits we feel we should be receiving in a relationship 

• If profit > comparison level = relationship satisfaction 

EQUITY THEORY

• What we put in vs what we get out  

• What partner puts in vs gets out 

Equitable relationships 

• Both partners get as much out as they put in 

• Relationship satisfaction 

Inequitable relationships 

• Either partner receives mismatch in what they put in and get out 

• Relationship dissatisfaction 

COMMITMENT FACTORS

Personal dedication 

• Attraction or attachment to partner 

Moral commitment 

• Sense of obligation, religious duty, social responsibility 

• Controlled by values, moral principles 

Constraint commitment 

• High cost of leaving  

• Lack of alternative investment 

SELF EXPANSION THEORY

• Relationships can dissolve if people feel their individual growth has stifled 

• Importance of continued expansion in relationship  

• Older couples who participate in self-expanding activities have increased relationship satisfaction and quality 

RELATIONSHIP SUCCESS FACTORS

Domestic partnership 

• Equitable division of labour 

Companionship/friendship  

• Intimate and trivial self-disclosure both important 

Social support 

• Relationships flourish at beginning is greater support is perceived 

• Relationships maintained through support 

Sexual satisfaction & non-verbal intimacy 

• Sexual fulfilment, communication and assertiveness 

• Sex may not be important for all relationships  

RELATIONSHIP DISSOLUTION

Active vs Passive 

• Whether the response involves action or lack of action 

Constructive vs Destructive 

• Whether the response is geared towards repairing or dissolving the relationship  

RELATIONSHIP DISSOLUTION - INTRAPSYCHIC PHASE

• Negative thoughts about partner/relationship  

• Brooding 

• Assessments of pros and cons of partner/relationship 

• Little outward show 

RELATIONSHIP DISSOLUTION - DYADIC PHASE

• Engagement to discuss relationship issues 

• Negotiation 

• Joint assessment of benefits and costs 

• Repair and reconciliation? 

RELATIONSHIP DISSOLUTION - SOCIAL PHASE

• Negotiate post break-up arrangements 

• Break news to others and enlist social support 

RELATIONSHIP DISSOLUTION - GRAVE-DRESSING PHASE

End relationship and psychologically move on