THE MARRIAGE WHERE THE FAMILY AND THE GALACTIC SPACE BEAM AND WARLOAD OF THE CENTURY EXPLOSION AT THE GALACTIC CORE IF WE DON'T EVER HAVE A MARRIAGE BECAUSE THEN IT ENDS IN A DIVOCE (PARAPHRASED BY MY WOMAN)

Relationship Counseling Model (Iceberg): layers and explanations

Top -- Problem Areas (seen)

Middle -- Relationship Skills

Bottom -- Heart Worship

What are Problem Areas?

typical relationship problems that you currently are experiencing, or typically experience in a relationship

Relationship Skills

Communication

Conflict Resolution

Understanding Roles

Worship

Time Together

Honoring and Serving One Another

Relationship Character Traits

Heart of Compassion

Kindness

Humility

Gentleness

Patience

Bearing with one another

Forgiveness

Love

What is the heart?

1. Inner man. The seat of appetites and passions.

2. Totality of man's immaterial nature.

3. Center and source of whole inner life.

What are the purposes of marriage?

Companionship (Friendship)

Completer

Covenant

Children

Collaboration for God's glory

Comprehensive Partnership (Not uniformity, clone)

What do the purposes of marriage mean, then?

Unity, Partnership, and Sacrifice

What are the three principles of marriage?

Leave, cleave, weave

What type of relationship is a marriage?

Covenant relationship representing Christ's relationship with His church. (As opposed to a contract)

Genesis 2:24 - God initiates the covenant

Ephesians 5:22-32 - God enacts the covenant

Regarding the purity of marriage, what did we say makes a marriage "bullet proof" from immorality?

Contentment and satisfaction

Philippians 4 (it is learned)

What biblical passages did we discuss concerning homosexuality?

Genesis 19:1 (Sodom/Gomorrah- an indictment of rape, first and foremost)

Leviticus 18:19, :22 (Beastiality, burning children, Baal...)

ROMANS 1:26 (Homosexuality is a result of suppressing the truth)

1 Cor. 6:9 (Passive and active partnership in consensual homosexual acts- attempt to redefine the term)

James 1:13-15 (you are tempted by your desires- sin begins there)

What was the passage we used to address the desires of homosexuality, even if those desires were not acted upon?

James 1:13-15 (you are tempted by your desires- sin begins there)

Know the differences between the complementarian and egalitarian positions

No notes on this... but:

*Complementarian: equal in value, different in roles (as God designed us)

Egalitarian: equal in value, equal in roles

What were the three categories we used to suggest how masculinity and femininity are defined?

Biblical, Biological, Cultural

When do you reject a Cultural role regarding true masculinity/femininity?

When it asks us to violate what the Bible says. If it doesn't, then we honor what the cultural expectations are, as a good witness to the world.

What is the biblical definition of love?

Love is not a feeling first, it is a command. Before all else, it's a determination to do good to another person (sometimes not what they immediately want) because God has told you. Love begins with a desire to please God.

What are the biblical principles of love as Christ loved the church?

Initiatory

Sacrificial

Humble

Volitional

Contra-Conditional

Eternal and Committed

Forgiving

Purifying and Constructive

Practical (Visible)

Biblical definition of masculinity

At the heart of mature masculinity is a sense of benevolent responsibility to lead, provide for and protect women in ways appropriate to a man's differing relationships.

Biblical definition of femininity

At the heart of mature femininity is a freeing disposition to affirm, receive, and nurture strength and leadership from worthy men in ways appropriate to a woman's differing relationships.

What are the primary responsibilities of a husband per the notes?

A Christ-like husband is a lover, a learner of his wife, and a servant-leader

What does it mean for a husband to be a learner?

Takes time, effort. Means you must study your wife continuously.

1 Peter 3:7- "Your husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman..."

What are the primary responsibilities of the wife per the notes?

She is an honorer (through loving submission), a helper (through faithful companionship), and a qualified homemaker (through active service)

What does submission mean? What was the illustration we used to describe it?

*Submission is the divine calling of the wife to honor, affirm, and nurture her husband's leadership and to help carry it through according to her gifts.*

Ephesians 5:22 "As unto the Lord" - MANNER. Submission is a *personal* matter

Ephesians 5:24, :32 "as the church is subject to Christ" - MODEL. Submission is a *comprehensive* matter (in everything but sin)

Ephesians 5:18 "Be filled with the Spirit" - MEANS. Submission is a *volitional* matter.

It is a *practical* matter: ACTIONS and ATTITUDE (even if it's not always "fair")

Illustration... Umbrella

When should a wife not submit to her husband?

Forbids her to go to church (Heb. 10:25)

Forbids her from talking to the children about the Lord (Eph. 6:1-4; Prov. 1:8)

Asks her to commit immorality (1 Cor. 6:20)

Asks her to lie or cheat (Eph. 4:25; prov. 6:17)

Forbids her to reprove him (Christian) when he is sinning (Gal. 6:1)

Asks her to cover up for him (Eph. 5:11-12; Prov. 6:19)

Asks her to violate her conscience (Rom. 14)

What are biblical reasons for divorce per the lectures?

1. Indecency meaning: Sexual Immorality (homosexuality, beastiality, and adultery).

2. Abandonment

Main verses on divorce

Deuteronomy 24:1-4 (clear definition, certificate of divorce as a legal document, "indecency" mentioned). Quoted in Matthew 5:31-32 when "sexual immorality" is the only condition.

Ezra 9, 10 only applicable to Israel, discussing national repentance

Matthew 1 - Joseph would have divorced Mary (and it would have been good) if she had cheated on him in their marriage

Matthew 19:3-6 Jesus affirms the covenant of marriage

1 Cor 7 you cannot divorce an unbeliever who consents to live with you an a true husband/wife way

John 4:7 just living together ≠ marriage. If 1 Cor 7 is not happening, you can divorce.

What are the four principles of communication? (Memorize)

1. Be Honest

2. Keep Current

3. Attack the problem, not the person

4. Act, don't react

What are the four "G"s of conflict resolution? (Memorize)

1. Glorify God

2. Get the Log Out of Your Own Eye

3. Gently Restore

4. Go and be Reconciled

What are principles for confrontation?

When would you do it? In instances of *safety,* *public defamation of Jesus,* or *long-term damage* to our relationship

(1 Pet 4:8 "Love covers a multitude of sins" - be wise in how often you confront.)

How?

P- Prepare

A- Affirm Relationship

U- Understand Interests

S- Search for Creative Solutions

E- Evaluate Options Openly and Reasonably

Forgiveness = Understanding

What is forgiveness?

A decision to make four promises:

1. I will not dwell on the incident

2. I will not bring it up or use it against you

3. I will not talk to others about it

4. I will not allow it to stand between us

What principles drive a biblical understanding of sexual intimacy?

It is pure and holy, but it is not the basis of marriage (Marriage is not first and foremost a sexual union).

*Primary goal is GIVING* (God has created the husband and wife equal ability to satisfy each other).

Meant to be regular and continuous.

What is a woman, as per the Bible?

At the heart of mature femininity is a freeing disposition to affirm, receive, and nurture strength and leadership from worthy men in ways that appropriate to a woman's differing relationships.

Women are created by God with equal value before God (Gen 1:26-27), but they are the weaker vessel (1 Pet 3:7). As such, women are called to affirm, receive, and nurture strength and leadership from worthy men in ways that appropriate to women's differing relationships. Women receive the same Dominion Mandate from God in Genesis 3, but they are distinctly and uniquely created to bear children.

What is a wife, as per the Bible? (+ 2 passages)

She is a Helper, Honorer, Homemaker, Submissive, Bears Children, Loves Her Family: TITUS 2:4-5 "“…train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands…”

1. She is an HONORER through willing/loving submission

Ephesians 5:22-33. Her submission comes through her spiritual gifts and it is done as to the Lord.

2. She is a HOMEMAKER through active service.

Proverbs 31. Her home is a safe place; she is dependable, productive, enterprising, generous as a neighbor, and nurturing