MAN3240 Why We Fight (And Why It’s Potentially OK)

Status Striving

Pursuit of promotion, accolades, or visibility at the expense of others to gain influence.

Social Comparison

Unfavorable comparisons leading to envy, frustration, or gossip

Group Competition

Humans are wired to favor their own "tribe."

Fundamental Attribution Error

Attributing personality for others' actions while blaming the situation for your own

Confirmation Bias

Ignoring non-supporting evidence

Egocentric Bias

Assuming your perception is the only correct one

Competing (Win-Lose)

High assertiveness / Low cooperativeness. You pursue your own goals at the other's expense. Best for emergencies or enforcing unpopular but vital rules

Accommodating (Lose-Win)

High cooperativeness / Low assertiveness. You yield to satisfy the other person. Used to build "social credit" or when the issue matters more to them.

Avoiding (Lose-Lose)

Low assertiveness / Low cooperativeness. Sidestepping or ignoring the conflict. Best when the stakes are low or the conflict is too heated

Collaborating (Win-Win)

High assertiveness / High cooperativeness. Finding a solution that fully satisfies both parties. When both sets of concerns are too important to be compromised. The "gold standard" for innovation but requires high trust

Compromising

Intermediate in both. A middle ground where both parties give up something. Good for quick settlements on moderately important issues

Task Conflict

Disagreements over the content of work (goals, strategies). Beneficial at moderate levels. It prevents Groupthink and forces teams to consider "multiple truths."

Process Conflict

Disagreements regarding the approach to work (workflow, authority, assignments). This is often where Status Striving hides—fighting over who has the "final say."

Relationship Conflict

Personal grievances, perceived disrespect, or personality clashes. Always destructive. It is self-reinforcing, meaning you start interpreting even neutral actions from the other person as intentional attacks.

Perspective-taking (self driven)

Consciously imagining the other person's situation and pressures to reduce bias

Reframing (self driven)

Shifting the interpretation of an interaction from an "attack" into an "opportunity" for change

Braintrust

A meeting format (like Pixar's) where candid feedback is used to improve the work, not judge the person

Conflict as a Feature

Instead of suppressing tension, high-performing teams "bake it in" through Red Teaming (assigning someone the role of Evaluator-Critic to intentionally poke holes in an idea)

The Bad Faith Assumption

Projecting malicious or selfish motivations onto others during a conflict while seeing your own as justified.

The Conflict Intensity Curve

An "Inverted U."

Too Low

Apathy and Groupthink.

Too High

Chaos and turnover.

Optimal

Functional tension that surfaces "Multiple Truths."

Departmental Silos

Teams see others as competitors for resources or strategic influence.

Task conflict effect

It prevents Groupthink and forces teams to consider "multiple truths."

Thomas-Kilmann styles

Defined by the balance between Assertiveness (satisfying your own needs) and Cooperativeness (satisfying others).

Organizational Politics

Driven by the sociological instinct to gain influence. Because of attribution bias, we often assume others are being "political" and "manipulative" while we see our own actions as "strategic."

Role Ambiguity

When responsibilities overlap, egocentric bias makes us believe we "own" a task, leading us to see a coworker's help as "overstepping."

Resource Scarcity

Triggers a "zero-sum" mindset (If they win, I lose). This ties to the evolutionary need for survival.

Communication Breakdowns

We often read hostility into short emails or dismissive tones because our brains are primed to see rivals.

Emotional Regulation (self driven)

Recognizing physiological cues (tight shoulders, shallow breathing) to shift from a "reactive" state to an "intentional" one.

One-on-One Conversations (interpersonal)

Grounded in curiosity rather than accusation.

Coaching (interpersonal)

Using a mentor to model vulnerability and help you reframe the situation.

Norm Setting (interpersonal)

Establishing explicit rules for how the team will "disagree respectfully."

Mediation (organizational)

A neutral third party facilitates a dialogue to help both parties be heard.

Investigation/Adjudication (organizational)

Used for serious breaches (harassment/ethics) where accountability is the priority

Policy Use (organizational)

Grievance processes that provide consistency, especially during power imbalances.