Wish You Were Here Lines (ASHLEY)

Escusez-moi, c’est libre?

ASHLEY: What? Oh! Yes. Oui. There’s an empty bench over there though. It’s freer than over here. Ici. Go over there. La.

Ahh! Vous-etes Americain?

ASHLEY: Sure. Maybe. The empty bench? La? Do you see it? No one’s sitting there. It looks quite comfortable. Wish you were there.

No. I think here is much more comfortable.

ASHLEY: OK. I’ll leave. You’re creeping me out.

Non! Mademoiselle! I am quite harmless.

ASHLEY: You speak English.

After two years in the States, yes. Without an accent. I worked very hard.

ASHLEY: That’s nice. So tell me, Mr. Frenchman “without-an-accent” —- why can’t a young woman in France just sit on a park bench without being hassled? What is it about you guys?

I do not hassle. I find charming young women irresistible. It is natural.

ASHLEY: No! It’s — yucky.

Yucky? I do not know “yucky.”

ASHLEY: Yeah, you do … you’re —- English is —- as you say —- very good.

Thank you.

ASHLEY: It’s —- nothing. I try to see the good in everyone —- even perverts.

Mademoiselle, I am merely a young man who has just returned to his native country and wishes to reacquaint himself with it and it’s charming inhabitants.

ASHLEY: I no longer inhabit here. I am leaving. To go home. To the States. Je pense. I think.

You’re French —- is not very good.

ASHLEY: I know —- but every time I speak to someone in French —- they answer me in English —- so what’s a girl to do?

Speak to me in French.

ASHLEY: No.

A little more nasal —

ASHLEY: That was an American “no.” Can’t you tell the difference?

Non.

ASHLEY: It’s been —- well … it’s been. You’re welcome to the bench. I need to go.

Wait! At least for the street lamps to come on. And then you may leave. If it’s your last night in Paris, you don’t want to miss the street lamps.

ASHLEY: I can’t. I have a plane to catch. An international flight —- must be there three hours ahead, you know. They don’t hold planes for street lamps.

It’s funny what you miss when you are away. I thought —- how can I go two years without a proper croissant — an exquisite petit pain? But in the end —- it was the street lamps I missed. And I will feel so lonely if they come one and I have no one to share it with.

ASHLEY: America has street lamps.

But Paris street lamps have a rhythm. They come on in time with the song of the city. They invite you. They beguile. In the States, they just —- turn on. They send you quickly into the night without any time to pause for twilight.

ASHLEY: That’s what I miss —- twilight. At home. The sky. I’m a Montana girl —- there’s lots of sky in Montana. Not as much here. There are no street lamps where I’m from —- just stars.

Paris —- the CIty of Light —- it hides the stars. It’s amusing, no?

ASHLEY: Yes, amusing … as this has been … nice meeting you. Welcome home.

Running away?

ASHLEY: No. To something actually.

A lover?

ASHLEY: A fiance. He’s been waiting —- for me to get my “squirrelies” out. I wanted to get my cooking certificate in Paris —- see a bit of the world before I settle down.

And did you —- eliminate your “squirrelies?”

ASHLEY: Sort of. Trouble is that now that I’ve been here —- I have itchy feet —- to see more —- to go to more places. I don’t think you could possibly understand —-

I —- scratched.

ASHLEY: What?

My feet were also itchy. I scratched in New York, Boston, the Grand Tetons, the Grand Canyon —- the States have many “grands.” I wanted to see your “big sky.” And yes, it is so different than here. And wonderful in its own way. And everywhere I went —- my feet got itchier for more. I stayed away longer than I planned. But my lover —- she wanted the inside of a church and a home close to her family and she got that —- while I was busy scratching my feet.

ASHLEY: I’m —- sorry. So, you can see why I need to go home and —- stop scratching. For one year I have gotten these notes from him. “Wish you were here.” And I thought —- how nice. But I don’t want to be there. Yet. I wanted to be here. And he’s waited. Oh sorry. Not that he waited. Of sorry. Not that he waited —- but that your sweetheart didn’t.

We planned a large family. We would both work hard at our business in the beginning.

ASHLEY: That is our plan — to start our own business — a restaurant!

Long-hard hours —-

ASHLEY: Working side-by-side,

Until the business takes off —-

ASHLEY: And then hiring some help —-

Which will come in handy when the babies arrive.

ASHLEY: Babies?

At least two.

ASHLEY: I was thinking the children would come much later. I am just in my early twenties.

Chantal would be our skier.

ASHLEY: I was thinking a figure skater. For Chrissy. Chantal. I like that name. It would forever remind me of my time in France. It’s wrong though —- isn’t it? To make your children live up to your dreams. Or your past. All the talk show psychiatrists say so.

Well, if Chantal did not excel in skiing, Pierre might. You never know.

ASHLEY: Chantal. I like her a lot. Not so sure about Pierre.

You don’t like Pierre? But he’s just a baby! How can you not like a baby?

ASHLEY: William. After my father. Definitely William. And I would love him very much.

And what will he do?

ASHLEY: I don’t know. I seem to have given him free reign, where I have made Chrissy a skater. Should I leave Chrissy alone? Or make plans for William?

We will have to leave William alone. When his teacher calls to say he dreams instead of works —-

ASHLEY: I will give the teacher a piece of my mind! Everything is not work. One must make space for dreams.

But the teacher does not teach dreams —-

ASHLEY: So I must.

When Chantal grows up and does not like the cold —-

ASHLEY: She won’t be able to ski or skate!

What will we do with her?

ASHLEY: I could take her to work —- at the restaurant —-

The restaurant? You will work?

ASHLEY: Of course I will work. I just got my certificate from the Cordon Bleu.

A bistro!

ASHLEY: Organic natural foods.

But William has a taste for fast food.

ASHLEY: I will not allow him to damage his body with junk! I am a natural foods chef!

Young men can be stubborn.

ASHLEY: Then we will have to move to a remote island to cure him.

But Chantal is now a teenager and will not leave her friends!

ASHLEY: Who is in charge? The parents? Or the children?

With nothing to do, Chantal will sleep in the island sun and turn her skin to leather! She is in a delicate time in her life. You must be careful.

ASHLEY: Then we will need to compromise. You will need to stay home with Chantal while I whisk William away to a deserted island —- that has a restaurant of course. With whole natural food where I will work.

Of course. Parenting is hard.

ASHLEY: I had no idea.

But they do grow up! Look at us.

ASHLEY: Yes —- look at —- us? Us? There is no “us!” I need to get a taxi!

But you cannot abandon Chantal and William!

ASHLEY: They do not exist!

They are our dreams! If you leave —- we have no dreams.

ASHLEY: I have other dreams! With a man who wishes I was there —- in Montana —- not here —- in France.

Christmas in the Loire Valley —- New Years in Montana —- on my ranch —- Every other year —- a compromise! A French Yule long one year and —- American as apple pie the next year.

ASHLEY: I do not bake!

But I do! Artisan breads, Croissants! Brioche! I have come home to open a patisserie!

ASHLEY: You’re all about butter and eggs —-

I can go organic!

ASHLEY: You deceived me!

It is our first test. If we can get past this —- we will have a summer home near Nice —- where we will retire and eat Charlotte Russe in our old age —-

ASHLEY: But we will be too old to be gorging ourselves with butter and eggs —-

We will not gorge! We will pace. With organic products from our own garden. We will keep hens and churn our own butter —-

ASHLEY: It’s impossible —-

Everything is possible!

ASHLEY: People do not plan a life with someone they meet in a park.

Ah —- but they do. Especially if they meet waiting for the street lamps to come on.

ASHLEY: I have a plane ticket!

And I have a passport!

ASHLEY: What are you saying?

It is a small world these days. People commute.

ASHLEY: Not between Montana and Paris!

We must. For Chantal and William.

ASHLEY: They have not been born!

They are already —- what do you Americans say —- twinkles in our eyes?

ASHLEY: Suppose Chantal is a Pierre? Suppose there are no children.

Then there will be us. Living the best of two worlds.

ASHLEY: You are confusing me.

Relationships do that.

ASHLEY: I don’t know you.

It is better that way —- we discover each other’s bad habits over time. It makes for a long and eventful marriage.

ASHLEY: Marriage? To someone whose name I do not know?

How unforgivable of me! Jean-Louis.

ASHLEY: Ashley. I —- really have to go. With the traffic —- I’ll never get there in time.

Then you must take my number. If you miss the plane.

ASHLEY: I’ll stay over night in the airport.

If you insist. Mademoiselle, it’s been a pleasure sharing a lifetime with you.

ASHLEY: Yes … the same here. Excuse me.

I have missed you.

ASHLEY: What was that?

The lamps.

ASHLEY: They —- are extraordinary. Why have I never noticed that?

You have been busy. Too busy. To pause.

ASHLEY: It’s sad —- to just discover something when you are leaving —-

Better to have discovered later —-

ASHLEY: —- than never? Maybe. And now maybe —- I will forever wonder —-

Mademoiselle —- here —- my number. In case you find yourself wondering —-

ASHLEY: All right. Thank-you. For the street lamps. Thank-you very much. Good-bye.

Until later —- The street lamps at least they are still here to welcome me. You have one message. One message to welcome me home.

ASHLEY: “Wish you were here.”