IBCT Change Strategies

Specific change in specific situations is easier than  ___ change ___ situations

unspecific change across situations

Two main things in communication

• Express themselves directly but without blame

• Be better listeners

Ideal Statements

• I feel X when you do Y in situation Z

• I feel isolated from you when we go the whole day without checking in with each other

• Ideal statements do not activate central nervous system as intensely 

• Okay to use you at times and w/ specific context 

Communication when stuck

• This is what I heard/saw

• This is what I made up about it 

• This is how I felt 

• This is what would help me feel better

Problem Solving Issues

• Structured interaction to resolve disputes 

• Brief 30-60 mins

• One problem per session 

• Steps

  • 1. Select and define the problem

  • 2. Clarify why the issue is important and what your needs are

  • 3. Brainstorm possible solutions & discuss pros and cons

  • 4. Negotiate, compromise, then jointly agree on a solution

  • 5. Select trial period to implement, re-evaluate, & revise

Dyadic Behavior Activation

• Choose behavior counteracts avoidance

• Bring about positive reinforcement, lessens depression

• Addresses reinforcement erosion

• Promotes positive behaviors

• Small individual changes - big results

• Identify menu of potential reinforcers

  • Specific and observable

• “What could I do for my partner that would increase make them happier and feel better about our relationship?”

Love Languages and Dyadic Behavior Activation

• Behavior that strengthens a relationship truly targets a partner’s needs

• Most Common Love Languages

  •  Quality time (41%)

  • Physical Touch (40%)

  •  Words of affirmation (23%)

  •  Acts of service (14%)

  •  Receiving gifts (4%)

Steps of Dyadic Behavior Activation

1. List Partner’s love language

2. list 4 specific behaviors that if you did, would increase partner’s satisfaction?

3. read your list out loud and partner will rate on a scale of 1-10

4. partner adds 1-2 behaviors to list

5. each partner commits to do some behaviors during the week