Nancy Drew Lines

MADAM DOYLE: Next, from the small town of River Heights, we have three industrious teenage detectives who solved over a hundred cases in their small town. I present to you, Nancy Drew. And Frank and Joe Hardy. AKA the Hardy Boys!

Gosh and golly! I’m so very excited to be here!

In scene 1 how do you enter?

DSL, I come in first and form a horseshoe

JOE HARDY: I’d rather be at home but Frank said I have to come. Don’t know why! But boy am I tired and hungry!

Oh Joe, you’re such a card!

When do you enter scene 7 and how?

At Batman’s “All I had to do was ask” and VERY SR

FRANK HARDY: Please put me down, I’ll tell you anything!

He’s a literal child! Why are you doing this?!?

Where are you beginning of scene 8?

Sitting on the Shay’s lounge

FRANK HARDY: But why was he screaming at us like that?!

He was so angry! I never thought bats could be that angry!

What do you do when Batman says “I’m Batman”

Scream and dive off shay’s lounge

DETECTIVE CHRISTIE: I am so sorry, kids… I promise we’ll lock him in another room. Bat—I mean…that caped guy won’t come back here. Now, just so you know, I don’t think any of you killed Madam Doyle. From everything I’ve read about you, it just doesn’t seem like something you’d do.

Oh, heavens no! Why, I couldn’t even kill a mayfly!

What do you do when detective Christie says, “I promise we’ll lock him in another room. Bat—I mean…that caped guy won’t come back here”?

Sit on the ground in front of her

FRANK HARDY: That goes doubly for me! I see a worm on the side of the room and I get queasy as a caterpillar! Just ask anybody!

The thing is, Detective Christie, a lot of cases we work are more of the wholesome variety. Like the time my neighbor’s prized baseball went missing!

FRANK HARDY: Or the time our neighbor’s prized cat went missing!

Or the Case of the Jeweled Crown! In which, our other neighbor’s prized tiara went missing!

What do you do while saying, “Oh, heavens no! Why, I couldn’t even kill a mayfly!”

Get up, sit SL on Shay’s lounge

FRANK HARDY: You sure do, Joe! You sure do!

Laugh

DETECTIVE CHRISTIE: Um… I think it’s more of a cry for help. But, let’s put a pin in that for now. Look, all I want to know is if you have any idea who killed Madam Doyle.

(Stand up) Hm. That’s a tough one. But I think we all agree we did see something rather suspicious in the courtyard, just moments before she fell off the balcony.

JOE HARDY: I see her falling body every time I close my eyes!

So we took him outside. And that’s when we saw that mean detective with the hat yelling at someone. We couldn’t see who he was screaming at, but he sure seemed angry. (Freeze)

DETECTIVE CHRISTIE: Well, that certainly does seem suspicious. I’ll have my partner look into it.

Thanks, Detective Christie! And thank you for saving us from that awful Batman. (Cross Sleft) (Scream when Batman appears)

Where do you start the ending?

On the Shay’s lounge

What do you do when Detective Christie says the killer is Sherlock?

Gasp

DETECTIVE CHRISTIE: All working together to snuff out Madam Doyle before she could bring your shameful secrets to the world!

Don’t forget about us! We’re the ones who suggested dangling her off a ledge!

BATMAN: BATMAN PUSH!

Woah! Batman WTH????

FRED: No, Shaggy! I’m not okay! Because while everyone is freaking out, no one’s listening to the fact that Daphne and I know who the killer is! We! Know!

Uhm, I heard about your monologe and dance and it was… Not good. Maybe you should—

DAPHNE: No, not this time! We’re not just gonna sit to the side while Velma reveals the killer and Shaggy acts all weird. Because I’m Daphne! And he’s Fred! And we…are people! With ideas! And mouths! And…and stomachs! And food in our stomachs! Also water! And— And—

Okay! Just… please stop, If you have and idea, tell us. But please don’t attempt another monologue.

MADAME DOYLE: Yeah! That’s right! It’s me! I did it! And I would’ve gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids!

Wait, I’m not sure this makes any sense.

SHAGGY: Ri Rure Do! Scooby-Doodby-Doo!

Oh Scoob!