lesson 2: happiness comes in waves

strikes

have to do with conflicts on organizational/collective levels. There’s much change that has taken place from them

intrapersonal conflict

conflict within yourself

interpersonal conflict

conflict between individuals

intragroup conflicts

conflict within a team or group

intergroup conflict

conflict between teams or groups

conflict

between 2 (or more) parties, when at least 1 of the parties feels that the other party is opposing or irritating them

verrottingsstrategie

people that don’t fit well into the firm are ignored until they feel that they don’t belong within and leave (= passive aggressive)

intervention checks

keeping conflicts small by bridging in conflicts instead of talking behind each other’s backs

institutional conflict

with organization/context/system

interorganizational conflict

conflict between larger entities

international conflict

conflict within and between countries

interventions: golden rules

o   Prevention is the best intervention

o   Early actions: agila, small, clear, light

o   Escalation, engage third parties

conflict sensitivity

-        People differ strongly to the extent they experience conflict and are impacted

-        Conflict experience is the result of interaction

conflict experience

the result of interaction

• of person (conflict sensitivity)

• and social situation/context

• and the fit of both

important to recognize it

styles of conflict behavior

• accommodating

• problem solving

• compromising

• avoiding

• forcing

conflict behavior

o Connected to our personality

o But also personal style, like culture and family: some of us are avoiding, others accommodating …

o Sometimes you have to make a strategic choice: for example to do something you usually wouldn’t

emotional confusion

tears for anger, blame for guilt…

cultural conflict communication

-        Happiness: mostly associated with the fit with the culture and the persons personality

-        Sometimes you think you understand each other, but you don’t because of difference in conflict communication style

accommodation

Belgium: more restraint + indirect

dynamic

Italy:  expressive + indirect

the 7 sins

in conflict, we see all of them come to the front (not all at the same time), important to recognize them

1. pride, vanity

2. greed

3. lust

4. jealousy

5. gluttony

6. wrath (anger)

7. sloth (laziness)

peacemaking

-        Natural behavior in groups

-        Aiming to restore harmony

-        Extra role behavior of any group member

-        Helping 1 or both parties

behaviors are voluntarily actions, by a multi-partial third party, without formal authority, offering (un)solicited help, to their peers in conflict

importance of peacemaking

• conflict is stressful also to other group members

• conflict is a threat for the group

• restoring harmony is essential for surviving as a group

parts of peacemaking

1. Connecting to all parties

2. Emotional support (“I’m so sorry for you”)

3. Help finding solutions (“how would you do it, what would help for you?”) → be supportive and helpful

4. Use humor to ease tension

emotional support

“i’m so sorry for you”

• thin line between supporting and siding

• support is very important, but the moment you side, you fuel the conflict

humor

can be used to ease tension

• haing a peacemaker in the group is great and really helpful

• women tend to use this more in times of conflict

• usually helps to get perspective → no one is perfect …

• don’t be sarcastic, be connective

peacemaking: goal

you want to shift the perspective from the past to the present and the future