Module 6 - Marriage and Early Parenthood

Institutional marriage

Emphasized male authority, duty, and conformity to norms

Institutions (churches, law) defined what was expected of spouses

Common before 20th century

Companionate marriage

Marriage based on personal fulfillment

Emphasize affection, friendship, and sexual gratification

Still commonly breadwinner homemaker

Started occurring in the 40s

Individualistic marriage

Emphasize self-development, flexible roles, and open communication

Prevalent due to shifts in economy as women enter the workforce

Expectations for marriage

Self-fulfillment, romantic love, and lifelong commitment

Marriage satisfaction

Tends to decline after 5 years

Men report higher satisfaction compared to women

Marital trends

47% of adults in the US are married

Most people marry around 30 & 28 years old

• Most adults establish career/income before entering marriage

Benefits of marriage

Happily married people live longer/healthier lives (better cardiovascular health, less likely to develop a chronic illness)

Making marriage work

Establish love maps to show fondness and admiration

Turn toward each other; be influenced aka shared power; solve solvable conflicts and recognize perpetual problems; overcome gridlock; create shared meaning

Divorce

40% of all first marriages end in divorce (typically between 5th and 10th year)

Women’s social lives tend to improve after divorce but they are hit harder financially

Groups most likely to divorce

Married young, lower education, low income, premarital pregnancy, divorced parents

Reasons for divorce

Growing apart, excessive conflict, infidelity, lack of respect/appreciation, domestic violence

Enduring dynamics model

Marriage problems, incompatibilities, and enduring vulnerabilities begin in courtship

Emergent distress model

The problematic behaviors that lead to divorce don’t happen until after the couple is already married

Disillusionment model

Couples begin their marriages with rosy, romanticized views of their partner, but reality sets in

Sinking gut feeling deeper than disappointment

Remarriage

Has declined as people choose to cohabitate

Men (esp high income) are more likely to get remarried and the partner who initiated divorce

Successful 2nd marriages

Have more realistic expectations, develop new positive relationships/traditions within the family, recognize unhealthy patterns from previous marriage

Transition to parenthood

Begins with pregnancy and ends months after birth

Significantly impacts the romantic relationship between the parents

• New identities as mom and dad as well as coparents

• Decline in relationship satisfaction, sexual satisfaction, increase in conflict and relationship dissolution

Gender differences in parenthood

Greater change in behavior & attitude for women than men (possibly due to social pressure)

Women tend to value parenting role more highly where as men identify their role at work

Trends in childbearing

Most women have first child in 30s (more maturity and financial stability) and younger parents have more energy and fewer medical issues during pregnancy

People are having less children

• More time to pursue careers and more focused attention on one child

Parenting myths

The birth of a child will save a failing marriage

The child will think, feel, and behave like their parents as children

Having a child gives the parents a second change to achieve their dreams

Parenting is instinctual and requires no training