"Head Over Heals" - King

Lines. Not music tho....

Glory to Arcadia, our matchless Realm. (crowd cheers) Gather we here at summer solstice to celebrate our legacy. For ages the beat has ordered our lives.

ALL: THATS WHEN WE FALL IN LINE! CAUSE WE GOT THE BEAT WE GOT THE BEAT WE GOT THE BEAT. YEAH WE GOT IT!!

Arcadians swear:

PHILOCLEA: our nation made strong by brilliant design.

Keep we all to this steady, perfect beat. Season upon season, year after year, generation after generation.

ALL: Our beat is divine!

Pemela, a troupe of lusty bach'lors now paw the ground with high impatience.

PAMELA: mother!

Arcadian culture hath flourished through its adherence to tradition.

PAMELA: there must be more to life than husbandry.

It cannot and it will not!

PAMELA: Surely, an expection for a beauty like mine can be made.

Delay this affair of state no longer!

PAMELA: but-

The blame for this disaster is your, wife!

PAMELA: You suitors do not suit and now must go! WHAT A WONDERFUL LIFE!!!

‘Tis some feminine conspiracy to
Leave me heirless! You have cosseted her
And pamper’d her beyond the bounds of reason. The Siege of your Maidenhead has lasted
Longer now than the Sack of Palmyra!
Your selfishness doth eclipse your beauty!

GYNECIA: Your umbrage is unseemly, Basilius.

In refusing all our gentry,
You threaten...
...the royal line with extinction.

PAMELA: Daddy!

No backtalk!

PAMELA: Daddy!

What?

PHILOCLEA: but father! Look!

“Since the last election, Our Sov’reign Zeus
Has decided to re-district Greece and
Appoint fresh oracles throughout the land.
Hence, I Pythio, have been sent to tend
The Flame of holy knowledge at Delphi.
And foster change in whereso’er I see fit.
With your eminent kingdom I begin
Arcadia is in peril.”

MOPSA: ‘Tis not fearsome.
‘Tis communicative.
The note’s addressed to King Basilius

"Arcadia is in peril."

PAMELA: Peril!

“Arcadia could lose its famous beat...”

(Shock from family!)

Lose its beat? Heresy! ‘Tis milk and meat!
‘Tis in our very bones! The beat we keep
Is what makes Arcadia Arcadia!

PHILOCLEA: Impossible!

"Choas? Mass extinction?"

GYNECIA: List. “No true paradise in place remains
Forever. If you cherish your people.
And family, and wish the beat to keep,
Avoid chaos and mass extinction, you’ll
Hasten to Delphi’s temple to hear my
Prophecies.”

Thy zeal, Gynecia,
I do appreciate, but the protection
Of a realm doth resideth with the Male.

GYNECIA: Go we now to thwart these portents most dire! Dametas, prepare my portage.

Dametas!

GYNECIA: Promise me to humble thyself before
This Pythio. Listen and heed for once.

Perpare MY portage.

DAMETAS: Sire?

Indeed. "Tis the temple of the Oracle.

DAMETAS: An aura serpentine assails my senses.

she? are you sure? Art thou man or woman?

DAMETAS: My, such a handsome phantasm she is!

Things need to be one thing or another.

PYTHIO: How is gender germane to the discussion?

So. Got your note. Here we are. Say the sooth.

DAMETAS: You know my name?

We're listening.

PYTHIO: Not all I say will soothe.

Our realm has never been in better hands!

PYTHIO: Arcadia has grown too orderly.
Bound by the iron yoke of tradition
It stagnates....

Preposterous!

PYTHIO: Hark!
Thy younger daughter brings a liar to bed:
He thou shalt forbid; she he'll then assume!
Thy elder daughter shall consent to wed;
She'll consummate her love -- but with no groom!
Thou with thy wife adult'ry shall commit.

No such king exists in the world entire!!!!!

PYTHIO: This fourth and last prophecy is crucial: You will meet and make way for a better king.

All flash, no substance, that---one!

ALL: A VISION OF NOW ---! A VISION OF NOW

Agreed. Let's not disclose these things on our return.

DAMETAS: Let's hope so. That was a divination most direct. Most terrifyingly direct.

I know how to handle this! No
Sense in waiting for a rival king to
Appear at our borders. Instead we’ll hit
The road to find, then slaughter this king!

DAMETAS: Ignoring the Oracle of Delphi
Is not, historically speaking, a
Wise move.

To kill my rival!

DAMETAS: Hit the road?

Wheresoe’er I am,
That is the kingdom, fool. All will travel
With us and remain under my manly
Jurisdiction. With my wife and daughters
In perpetual view.

DAMETAS: But what of the kingdom?

Tut, I shall invent a story most persuasive.

DAMETAS: How to the Queen will you explain this?

Nonesense! 'Tis genius.

DAMETAS: Lying to your wife, has histprically speaking, seldom turned to your advantage.

I'm BACK!

*Dash offstage then back onstage, followed by DAMETAS*

A happy end for all, and laughter too
At ev'ry stop along the way. But now
We must make haste and fly Arcadia.

GYNECIA: good husband! What was the Prophecy?

What said the Oracle? Well might you ask.

GYNECIA: Make haste and fly? NOW? What said Pythio?

And most prettily too.
And spake the Oracle thus to me—
Mind you—with great curlicues of gesture—

GYNECIA: Ask I do.

The verb spake to me was kill.

GYNECIA: Cut to the verb, husband dear!

Kill what, you say? Dametas.

GYNECIA: Kill? Kill what?

Yes! We must hunt a stag.

DAMETAS: Make a killing on the road. 'Tis the hunt.

Yes, the ones with horns.

GYNECIA: A stag?

Yes! And if I do kill that golden stag
And make gift of him to Pythio, all
Will be well.

DAMETAS: But golden.

And forever.

DAMETAS: forever.

You jest! We fly! And now I must take charge!

MOPSA: Queen, A man oft meets his destiny on the same road he takes to avoid it.

Listen to me, ev'ryone!

*Goes into song*

Each of you must pack a bag.

SERVANTS: HEY!

We're off to slay the golden stage!

SERVANTS: HEY!

A surprise you shall see, along the way!

PHILOCLEA: Where then first, o, father, pray? SERVANTS: HEY!

IF YOU GET UP AND WALK AWAY
LEAVE THE PAST BEHIND --
GO AHEAD AND TAKE A RIDE
NO TELLING WHAT YOU'LL FIND.

SERVANTS: HEY!

THE WORDS YOU SAY DON'T MEAN A THING
THEY FLY RIGHT BY MY EYES
LOOK IN THE MIRROR, DON'T LOOK AT ME!
MAYBE THEN YOU'LL REALIZE --

GYNECIA: but-

SO GET UP AND GO!
IF YOU’RE SO TIRED OF MOVING SLOW
GO!
IF YOU’RE SO TIRED OF MOVING SLOW

ALL: HEY HEY

Where you say?

GYNECIA: WHERE go we? Tell me.

Bohemia it is, then, everyone!

DAMETAS: Let’s journey to Bohemia! It is
The homeland of the artists, where they live
As one in harmony most communal.

Most ill-timed is thy entrance, shepherd boy.
And thy tongue curdles reason. English, please.

MUSIDORUS: First shall the earth, untilled, pour freely forth
Her childish gifts, the gadding ivy-spray
And laughing-eyed udders swollen with milk!

Five years of suitors have preceded
Thee, shepherd: Of Position! Boundless wealth!
Thy betters who pursue our Pamela.

PAMELA: Oh. No.

Thou speakest of plain Philoclea.
The answer’s Nay! I reject thy proposal. Away, let’s to Bohemia, away!

PAMELA: The shepherd’s blind.

Make haste of thy proposal! Go. Now. GO!

PHILOCLEA: Stay, Father. Please, the shepherd long hath been
A friend to us. I beg thee, hear his plea!

And Time doth waste much like
Thou dost my patience. And ONE and TWO and THREE --

MUSIDORUS: (stopping the band)
5-6-7-8-9-10
I'm sorry; let's begin again; I missed
My entrance cue --

OH FOR THE LOVE OF EV"RYTHING DON'T STOP!

MUSIDORUS (CONT’D): I missed my KEY this time I'm so SORRY --

What offense did my ears afflict that they
Be so assailed? Stop thy clamor, shepherd!

MUSIDORUS: -- ABOUT ME, BABE
A COUPLE OF FOOLS RUN WILD AREN'T WE?
PUSHING THE DAY INTO THE NIGHTTIME
SOMEWHERE BETWEEN THE TWO
WE START TO SEE --
I’M MAD ABOUT YOU (MAD ABOUT YOU) LOST IN YOUR
EYES. (REASON ASIDE)
MAD ABOUT LOVE (MAD ABOUT YOU)
YOU AND I,-

A peasant who lacks a drop of royal
Blood? Have you taken leave of your senses?
Let’s now consult the object of beguilement.

Now Daughter, would’st thou take this rude hand,
This lowly shepherd’s hand, and give thy back
To the heritage of centuries and
Thy family entire?

GYNECIA: Most heavenly! I felt the gadding ivy,
And laughing-eyed udders swollen with milk.
Why should she not marry the shepherd if
To her he brings all joying in their term?

Now heed her. Should’st thou further fancy her,
My sword shall “take a shine” to thee! Begone! And you: engage no more with him, by glance
Or word or thought!
(to all)
I’m done here. Let’s away!

PHILOCLEA: Be thou glad that I will be gone from sight.

Desist!
Wife, you are the eagle of the Caucasus
Who feasts on the liver of Prometheus.

GYNECIA: Once more, dear chuck: Tell me of the Oracle.
Your silence on the subject flouts me from
All pleasantry. ‘Tis but the latest of
Your masculine conspiracies.

My servants, subjects all, I bid thee HOLD!
Our retinue and royal family
Hath earned a respite, no?
Amidst the forest there we shall make camp.

GYNECIA: And I shall be as relentless as that
Eagle until you reveal the prophecy!

Dametas!

GYNECIA: And duck you still—

I find my mind dwelleth on the Oracle.

DAMETAS: Yes?

Good. I’ll manage the rival king, and my
“Adulteries.” You stand guard o’er the girls.
Allow no other man the smallest
Interaction with the princesses.
My wife I shall now attempt to distract.

DAMETAS: Mine too. I scan the
Skies most constant for their ominous flags.

By thy silence thou wouldst have
Me ask if thou art angry.

SCENE 7: (THE ROYAL FAMILY ENTER)

My ears are tun’d to thy every wish,
Spoken and unspoken.

GYNECIA: Nay, I do
But share a moment with myself; I trust
She will listen.

Must you
Ever pluck that one sharp string to your lute?

GYNECIA: If that were true
I would know why to Bohemia we
Travel without seeming purpose.

I need my sword!

(A sudden roar. A LION emerges from the forest.)

WHERE IS MY SWORD?

PAMELA: oh help!

Amazonian warrior, my House
Is evermore entwined with thy glory!

(Suddenly MUSIDORUS (as the Amazon) roars onstage and
expertly kills the LION, severing its head. He holds it aloft,
accompanied by cheers.)

Thy tongue is honeyed! When in battle thou
Art fearsome, but in conversation thou
Art pleasingly effeminate.
Do sally forth with us to Bohemia.

PAMELA: She is my ancient mother and she's taken.

And thus included time should lightly fly.

MUSIDORUS: ‘Tis an invitation irresistible.

Hit the hay, revelers! Hie thee hence! Ho!

GYNECIA: COOL JERK
(catching her breath)
This caprine caper is good for the glutes.
Thanks to you, light and lively Amazon.

Speak.

DAMETAS: I can take it no longer, Your Highness!
Neither rebuff nor interrupt my words!

Show thyself some mercy.
Have any men invaded our Pamela’s
Tent since we set forth?

DAMETAS: Two flags have dropped from the Oracle.
I know not how. I’d like to think my eyes
Are as keen as when I first came to serve
You. I have failed.

Or Philoclea's?

DAMETAS: On my life, no, Sire.

And my wife?

DAMETAS: She’s secure as well.

And the rival king?

DAMETAS: Is true.

Put it all together and what have you?

(pause)

These two rags aren’t worth a tinker’s fart.
Comes it clear to me now that Pythio
Has the whole thing spitefully invented.
When we reach Bohemia I’ll file suit
And send their bottom on a plate to Zeus
For reducing you to a worrywart
With their bogus sense of danger. I bid
Thee go—and take thy dark cloud with thee.

DAMETAS: Nowhere to be seen. Keep I constant watch.

DAMETAS/BASILIUS: Beat...



Doth pulse true and constant.
Our birthright divine never to be stopp’d.

DAMETAS: But the

You may give your wrist a rest, fierce lady,
This missive warrants speedy deliv’ry.

MUSIDORUS: Another audience, Your Majesty?
My wrist is sore from all our arm-wrestling.

A letter from my sweet beloved! O,
My future happiness here lives, inside.

MUSIDORUS: Um, here's a letter. Hope you like it. Bye.

THIS OLD FEELING
IT'S GOT ME UP!
I CAN'T BELIEVE
MY GOOD LUCK
I'D WAIT AT YOUR DOOR
TILL ETERNITY
BECAUSE YOU MEAN
THAT MUCH TO ME!
WELL, A MILLION TIMES SAID IN AS MANY SONGS

BOTH

BUT BEFORE YOU
I COULD NEVER SING ALONG –

I LOVE YOU!

(In a separate light, his fantasy CLEOPHILIA appears.)

(I DO!) I LOVE YOU!

GYNECIA: OH YES, I DO –

(I DO) I LOVE YOU!

OH YES, I DO, YES I DO!

“My dearest one, no longer secret is
My love for thee
Let’s meet in the cave. At twilight. Me. Thee.”

I LOVE YOU!

GYNECIA: OH YES, I DO --

(I DO!) I LOVE YOU!

GYNECIA: OH YES, I DO --

(I DO!) I LOVE YOU!

OH YES, I DO, YES I DO --

I LOVE YOU!

GYNECIA: OH YES, I DO --

(I DO!) I LOVE YOU!

GYNECIA: OH YES, I DO --

(I DO!) I LOVE YOU!

OH YES, I DO, YES I DO –

GYNECIA: OH YES, I DO --

O heark! Is that the screeching of an owl?

SCENE 4
#15A INSIDE THE CAVE

(Inside The Cave)
(Underscore begins. Lit by spotlight, we see GYNECIA and
BASILIUS groping toward each other in the dark. We hear bird
sounds. Underscoring: Electric guitar swells and drum rattles.)

'Tis dark!

GYNECIA: O heark! Is that the cooing of a dove?

Is't thee?

GYNECIA: 'Tis dark!

‘Tis we! O how
Thy voice doth lilt when 'tis divided from
Thy rugged lovely visage! Hold me, Love!

GYNECIA: 'Tis me!

Nay, should I know thy gaze I'd lose my courage!

GYNECIA: I'll fetch a torch so I might gaze on thee.

WHEN YOU WALK INTO THAT ROOM
YOU PULL ME CLOSE AND YOU START TO MOVE
AND WE'RE SPINNING WITH THE WORLD ABOVE
AND YOU LIFT ME UP IN A WAVE OF LOVE

GYNECIA: WHEN THE NIGHT FALLS DOWN
I WAIT FOR YOU AND YOU COME AROUND
AND THE WORLD'S ALIVE
WITH THE SOUND OF KIDS ON THE STREET OUTSIDE

OOH HEAVEN IS A PLACE ON EARTH!
THEY SAY IN HEAVEN LOVE COMES FIRST
WE'LL MAKE HEAVEN A PLACE ON EARTH!
OOH HEAVEN IS A PLACE ON EARTH!

ORACLE /GYNECIA: OOH, BABY, DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT'S WORTH?