Student Run Lines

(show starts)

Hi i’m Peggy. Peggy the… well I don’t have a true pirate name yet

Scummy: Sure you do. Its Peggy the pint sized pirate

Yeah that’s what they call me. Peggy the pint sized pirate. But i’m tired of it and I wont stand for it anymore

Scummy: Won’t stand for it? I thought you were sitting down

Im so tired of the short jokes! Anyway today is my big day! Im finally going to be a pirate. I’ve dreamed of this day since I was little… Well i’m still little and i’m still dreaming. but finally the day have come! Im going to be a pirate.

Scummy: you scared sue will hurt you Peggy?

I know Im not as strong as you but I know I will be a good pirate

Sue: Hard worker? some of the best pirates are lazy

And i’m sharp as a tack

Sue: The only shap thing a pirate needs is her sword

So if i’m not a big dumb lazy killer then I cant be a pirate

Sue: pretty much

There must be someone who would like a hard working thinker like me

Soggy: We need two crews for a treasure run to Tucson

Tucson?

Soggy: I’ll take sue the smelly

I was so excited. this was the first time I tried out for a pirate crew. Captain sludge had the fastest pirate ship around. everyone wanted to be with her when the sea record of 1812 was broken. And captain soggy had the only pirate ship that could go under water! really! but as more and more pirates were picked, I got worried because no one was picking me.

Soggy: Thats it then

Wait what about me!

Soggy: We cant handle screaming little girls on ships with sea monsters afoot

Now i’ll never be a pirate

Grunt: Whats this boo-hooing I hear

No one wants me to be a pirate. They think i’m to little

Grunt: Do they now

Everyone laughed at me and said i’d be scared. But i’m not scared of anything and I wouldn’t cry. Im not afraid of sea monsters. Who am I kidding I am too little

Grunt: Your not all that little you know

Cant you see me? Im tiny!

Grunt: there is something that I see that is bigger than any pirate I know. you will just have to see it on your own.

I don’t get it what do you mean?

Grunt: give it time Peggy and you’ll see.

But I wanna be big now

Grunt: feel better

Actually yes. Thank you

Pretty soon you’ll get your chance to see what you have is greater then most

Well i’m not moving from this spot until I find out!

Grunt: Stubborn aren’t we

Hmmmmm Peggy the stubborn. Nah dosen’t sound right.

Grunt: Patience Peggy your moment will come

Old people say the weirdest things. Me be big. now. but how. Little did I know that out at see something was about to happen that would change my life forever.

Scummy: AHHHHH the horror the horror

What is it scummy

Scummy: both of the ships are gone! destroyed

But how

Scummy: The sea monster

Really? And the pirates couldnt stop it?

Scummy: They tried but the monster was too powerful. Both of the ships are gone forever

How did you survive

Scummy: I hid in a barrel when

You fled? that’s not very piratey

CAPTAIN SOGGY

And the entire crew was captured.

What are you going to do?

CAPTAIN SOGGY

Maybe I'll open up a little sea side resort.

 

You can't give up. What about your crew? You must save them.

 

CAPTAIN SOGGY

And I could serve soda pop and soup with little tiny umbrellas in them.

 

So you're both a couple of chickens.

(Both CAPTAINS stop and stare at her)

CAPTAIN SLUDGE

What did you say?

 

Chickens.

(Acts like a chicken)

Brock, brock, brock.

 

CAPTAIN SLUDGE

Fine. You think you're so brave. Then you be captain and take care of that sea monster yourself.

(Sticks huge captain hat on PEGGY and it covers her head)

Best of luck to you, Captain.

Captain? Was she serious? Even if she wasn't, it doesn't matter. Someone has to save those pirates.

Come on, Scummy. We're going to save some pirates.

Scene Two

So I set sail trying to find our missing pirate friends. I knew that if I could save them, then I would prove that I was worthy of being a pirate.

SCUMMY

And I knew if I went along, the captains couldn't find me and string me up for running away.

But they ran away too. How can they get mad at you?

SCUMMY

Good point. Let's go back and tell them that.

No, we've already come this far. We're not going back. I need you to show me the way

SCUMMY

But I'm...

You're what?

SCUMMY

I'm scared, okay? Happy now.

It's okay to be scared.

SCUMMY

No, it's not. Pirates don't get scared.

I'll bet they do. They just don't tell anyone. But it's okay to get scared.

SCUMMY

Are you scared?

For some reason, no. I'm not sure why. You think I would be but I'm so set on finding those lost pirates that I haven't thought about being scared.

 

SCUMMY

Wow, Peggy. You're really something.

Hey, did you just say something nice to me?

SCUMMY

(Embarrassed)

No.

 

Yes, you did.

SCUMMY

Can we stop talking now?

Look over there

MERMAID

(Appears in front of them)

It's a pirate ship graveyard.

 

What a mess

MERMAID

I'm Oceanna.

a mermaid

MERMAID

This is my home. But it's ruined.

what happened

MERMAID

The pirates came here looking for treasure. The sea monster got mad and destroyed their ships.

The sea monster? Can you help me find it?

MERMAID

Why would you want to do that? Can't you see what happened to the last pirates who tried?

 

I want to free the pirates that it captured.

SCUMMY

Good idea. Let's go home.

 

I can't. I have sworn an oath to help them. Can't you show us the way?

MERMAID

I don't know the way.... but I think I know someone who does. I'll see if they'll talk to you.

Thank you

SCUMMY

I can't believe you're asking for help.

What's wrong with that?

SCUMMY

Pirates don't ask for help. We do everything by instinct.

No wonder you're always getting lost.

BARNEY

I've been trying... but you're stuck with me baby.

Excuse me. I do hate to bother you, but do you know the way to the Sea Monster's lair?

SCUMMY

So we'd go home then.

No, we're going.

WILLY

Why do you want to find the Sea Monster anyway?

we have to save the other pirates

 

BARNEY

Don't tell them that.

(WILLY starts to drag off BARNEY)

Thanks.

SCUMMY

Weirdoes.

Lets go then

SCUMMY

Do we have to? I got you this far. But this is where I turned back before and I plan to again.

 

Come on, Scummy. Don't you want to be a hero.

 

SCUMMY

A hero?

If you rescue the pirates, you'll probably get a whole treasure chest of gold.

 

SCUMMY

(Brightens)

Gold?

 

I bet they'll make you captain.

 

SCUMMY

(Excited)

Captain?

(Smiles)

Let's go!

 

Lets

I'm your host Pearl Jam.

(OYSTERS cheer)

And I see we have a couple of new contestants.

(Goes to PEGGY and SCUMMY)

Please tell us your names and a little bit about yourselves.

hi i’m peggy

OYSTERS

Hi, Peggy.

And I'm looking for some pirates who were kidnapped by a sea monster.

PEARL

Welcome None of Your Business. Are we ready to play?

You Bet Ya

PEARL

Then let's spin the wheel.

(OYSTERS cheer)

Today's top prize is direction to the sea monster's lair.

Thats what we need

SCUMMY

No, Peggy. We can't play. It's too dangerous.

 

PEGGY

I don't think we have a choice.

PEARL

Do you want this prize or do you want to spin again?

We really need the directions to the sea monster's lair.

SCUMMY

What?! Look at the size of that pearl. Are you crazy?

spin again

VOICE

Dinner with the Sea Monster!

(OYSTERS cheer)

We did it!

PEARL

Personally, I would have taken the Pearl.

I have to rescue the other pirates.

 

SCUMMY

Wait a minute... did you say dinner? Oh, dear.

On to the sea monster's lair!

Scene 3

This must be the sea monsters lair.

SCUMMY

I don't think this is a good idea, Peggy.

Yes, you said that about a hundred times on the way over. But someone has to save these pirates.

SCUMMY

And what makes you think we can do it?

 

PEGGY

Because I can do anything I put my mind to.

SCUMMY

What's that?

 

I don't know.

SCUMMY

There is was again.

(Roaring)

Let's get out of here.

But I don't see anything.

SCUMMY

Ahhh run

Scummy! Get back here.

(PEGGY stands ready and faces the shadow)

I guess it's up to me.

(Bravely calls out)

Show yourself sea monster. I'm ready for you!

SEA MONSTER

(Roars. Off)

You better run little pirate before I eat you.

No, you better run before I eat you.

SEA MONSTER

(Off)

What? You can't eat me.

I can eat anything I want.

SEA MONSTER

Why aren't you scared?

Hey! You're just a little guy.

SEA MONSTER

Usually the shadow scares most of them away.

How did you do that?

SEA MONSTER

Ancient sea monster secret.

Come on, you can tell me.

SEA MONSTER
You're a pirate. I can't tell you.

 

Hey, no body has ever called me a pirate before.

SEA MONSTER

That wasn't a compliment.

 

So what's the deal? How can a little monster like you defeat all those pirates?

SEA MONSTER

Oh, that isn't me. That's my mama. She's the one who destroys all those ships.

And she captured all those pirates?

SEA MONSTER

Yes.

 

Then I need to talk to her.

 

SEA MONSTER

You can't do that.

 

why not

SEA MONSTER

She won't talk to you. She'll just capture you and torture you like the others.

Torture that’s terrible

SEA MONSTER

They are getting what they deserve.

I won't hear of it. Take me to them or else.

SEA MONSTER

Or else what?

 

I... I....

SEA MONSTER

You... you... what?

I won't tell you my secret.

SEA MONSTER

Secret? What secret?

Sea monsters can't resist a good secret.

(To SEA MONSTER)

I'll tell you if you take me to your mama.

SEA MONSTER

Give me a hint...

Nope. Not until I see you're mama.

SEA MONSTER

Not one little hint?

sorry

SEA MONSTER

Ow!

Scummy! What have you done?

SCUMMY

I've defeated the sea monster!

 

But if you hurt the sea monster, we won't know where the pirates were taken.

 

SEA MONSTER

Come back here. I know a little liar when I see one.

Here, let me help you.

SEA MONSTER

Why would you want to do that?

Well... I do want you to show me where the pirates are... but...

SEA MONSTER

But what?

I kind of like you too.

SEA MONSTER

You do?

I know pirates aren't supposed to like sea monsters, but I do kind of like you.

SEA MONSTER

And why is that?

 

Because you're little and you're so big all at the same time. I wish I could be as brave and strong as you.

SEA MONSTER

I don't feel so brave and strong with this stick in my arm

Here, let me help with that.