Lefou Lines

Beauty and the Beast (Broadway)

(ACT 1 SCENE 1)

ALL VILLAGERS: YES DIFF’RENT FROM THE REST OF US IS BELLE

LEFOU: I got it. I got it. I got it!

(A large duck drops, missing the bag entirely. LEFOU quickly puts the duck into the bag as GASTON enters carrying a large, smoking rifle.)

LEFOU: You didn’t miss a shot, Gaston. You’re the greatest hunter in the whole world!

GASTON: I know.

LEFOU: No beast alive stands a chance against you! And no lass, for that matter.

GASTON: It’s true, Lefou. And I’ve got my sights set on

(points to BELLE.)

…that one.

LEFOU: The inventor’s daughter?

GASTON: She’s the one. The lucky girl I’m going to marry.

LEFOU: But she’s-

GASTON: The most beautiful in town.

LEFOU: I know, but-

GASTON: That makes her the best.

(grabs LEFOU with a beefy hand and pulls him up nose-to-nose)

And don’t I deserve the best?

LEFOU: Well, of course you do!

(skip to after song)

GASTON: Belle, it’s about time you got your head out of these books and paid attention to more important things.

(GASTON strikes a handsome pose.)

LEFOU: Hint… hint.

BELLE: Like you?

GASTON: Exactly! The whole town’s talking about it. It’s not right for a woman to read. Soon she starts getting ideas… and thinking… for herself!

BELLE: Gaston, you are positively primeval!

GASTON: Why, thank you Belle. What do you say me and you take a walk over to the tavern? I can show you my trophies.

BELLE: Maybe later. I have to go help my father.

LEFOU: That crazy old fool. He needs all the help he can get!

(GASTON and LEFOU laugh heartily.)

BELLE: Don’t talk about my father that way!

(GASTON thunks LEFOU on the head.)

GASTON: Yeah! Don’t talk about her father that way!

BELLE: My father’s not crazy! He’s a genius!

(MAURICE enters with his new colorful invention.)

MAURICE: Belle! Belle!

BELLE: It’s working!

(MAURICE waves merrily as part of the invention falls apart.)

GASTON: Some genius! Now, Lefou, I want you to go out into the woods and bring me back the biggest, healthiest deer you can find.

LEFOU: Not the woods! Anything but the woods! You know I hate the woods.

GASTON: Just bring me a deer for my wedding feast!

LEFOU: But I hate the woods! It’s dark and spooky, and there’s bugs and spiders!

(GASTON and LEFOU exit.)

(ACT 1 SCENE 4)

BELLE: I WANT SO MUCH MORE THAN THEY’VE GOT PLANNED…

(LEFOU hurries in wearing MAURICE’s scarf.)

LEFOU: Belle! Have you seen Gaston?

BELLE: You just missed him. Wait a minute, where did you get that scarf?

LEFOU: This? In the woods. Pretty nice, huh?

BELLE: That belongs to my father!

LEFOU: Yeah, well, finders-keepers.

BELLE: Lefou. I want you to think hard and tell me exactly where you found that.

LEFOU: No!

BELLE: Think!

LEFOU: Somewhere in the woods.

BELLE: Harder!

LEFOU: Near the crossroads, okay?

(thinking hurts)

Ow.

BELLE: Something must have happened. Lefou, you have to take me back!

LEFOU: Oh, no. Not the woods again!

BELLE: Take me!

LEFOU: Not on your life!

(ACT 1 SCENE 6)

(GASTON, sullen and morose, enters. His CRONIES and LES FILLES DE LA VILLE look on. LEFOU approaches.)

GASTON: Who does she think she is? That girl has tangled with the wrong man.

LEFOU: Darn right!

GASTON: No one says no to Gaston! Dismissed! Rejected! Publicly humiliated! It’s more than I can bear.

LEFOU: More beer?

GASTON: What for? Nothing helps. I’m disgraced.

LEFOU: Who, you? Never! Gaston, you’ve got to pull yourself together!

{GASTON song happens and we eat it up!}

GASTON: Drinks on Lefou!

(MAURICE enters, panicked.)

MAURICE: Help! Help! Someone help me!

GASTON: Maurice?

MAURICE: Please, I need your help! He’s got Belle! He’s got her locked in a dungeon… We must go at once… not a minute to lose!

GASTON: Whoa. Slow down, Maurice. Who’s got Belle locked in a dungeon?

MAURICE: A beast! A horrible, monstrous beast!

(GASTON and the CRONIES stare at MAURICE with disbelief. Then, ALL burst into laughter.)

GASTON: Is it a big beast?

MAURICE: Huge!

CRONY 1: With spooky yellow eyes?

MAURICE: Yes! Yes!

CRONY 2: With a long ugly snout?

MAURICE: Hideously ugly!

LEFOU: And sharp, cruel fangs?

MAURICE: Yes! Yes! Will you help me? Will you help me?

GASTON: All right, old man. We’ll help you out.

(GASTON looks toward his CRONIES and jerks his thumb toward the door.)

{A million and a half more lines happen here we just need to know what’s going on before this.}

{Gaston reprise happens here}

(ACT 2 SCENE 3)

MONSIEUR D’ARQUE: I’ve come to collect your father.

BELLE: But my father’s not crazy!

MONSIEUR D’ARQUE: I’m told he was in the tavern raving about a “beast” in the castle.

(LEFOU enters with VILLAGERS.)

LEFOU: We all heard him.

(to the VILLAGERS)

Didn’t we?

(The VILLAGERS murmur their agreement.)

{This is during the Mob Song :)}

GASTON: We’ll rid the village of this beast. Who’s with me?

LEFOU: I am!