12 Hangry Jurors Lines

Six: Seriously?

Why? Do you even want pineapple pizza? Does anyone?

Ten: We Don’t?

I can count. All of the real votes were for burgers.

Eight: Now we’re talking. Go on.

Seriously? We’re not getting a steak.

Six: It’s not just a steak….that is—and I’m not being hyperbolic when I say this—life changing.

Life Changing?

Six: You laugh, but I tell you that garlic butter is life changing.

No one is laughing.

Six: Then Donovan’s is out.

Yeah, was worth a shot.

Eight: I was being ironic!

I have it! I have a solution!

Eleven: You do?

Oh, I do! Oh, I so do! We’ve been working at this problem all wrong. We’re working backwards.

Four: Backwards?

Yes. Backwards. When you eat a cake, do you start with the icing?

Twelve: I don’t want cake for lunch.

We’re not getting cake for lunch.

Five: Who are you?!

It doesn’t matter! We’re not ordering cake. The cake is a metaphor.

Twelve: Actually, it’s a confection.

Yes, but I’m using it as a metaphor…. Juror one can you bang a gavel or something and tell everyone to let me talk.

One: Let Juror Three speak. Or else it will be time to order dinner and I don’t think we’re at that level yet.

Thank you. When you bake a cake, you start with the cake, not the icing. We’re trying to figure out where we want to order from, when what we really should be doing first is figuring out the “what”.

Ten: I’m not following.

Juror Eight wants us to order something special, a food to honor the greatness of the day. Juror six wants something big and bold. Juror Four needs something customizable, because ninety percent of the ingredients in the world will kill them.

Four: Ninety percents a little high. More like seventy. The rest just upset my stomach.

And Juror Twelve wants something that will make them feel like they’re in another country.

Twelve: Yes! That. Though I don’t expect the food to teleport me there or anything.

So what is something that is big and bold and customizable and international, yet symbolizes America and all it stands for? (A long pause.) The overstuffed burrito! (Beat.) Fill it with steak, fill it with beans, fill it with whatever your heart’s desire! But it will be big, and it will be hearty, and when we look back on this day, we will think not of the man we sentenced to a decade behind bars, but of... freedom! The freedom to stuff our faces with whatever we can fit in a giant tortilla. What do you all say? Do we have an agreement?

Ten: I actually had a burrito for lunch yesterday.

Why, you—!

Eight: No. No… No, no, no! This is not justice……..Why… didn’t i just settle for boring hamburgers? All this… and now nothing.

It’s not nothing. It’s only one o’clock. i get to see my little girl get home from school! Normally, I work so late, I only get to spend a few minutes with her before her bedtime. She’s going to be so excited when she sees me waiting at the bus stop!