Last Day of Camp | Craig (Name Edition)

First Line

CRAIG: They do twinkle 

LILLIAN: Isn't that amazing? They really do. 

CRAIG: You didn't know that?

LILLIAN: Not really.

CRAIG: Come on, you must know the song. Everybody knows the song. 

LILLIAN: Which one? 

CRAIG: "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star." You don't know that? 

LILLIAN: Sure I do.

CRAIG: Where do you think they got that from? I mean, art imitates 

life, right? 

LILLIAN: I don't know. There's a lot of lies in songs. The only stars I ever saw twinkle were in Disney cartoons or Christmas pageants,wellTill this summer. I guess it's pretty hard to twinkle through all that guck in the city. 

CRAIG: So you've had an educational summer, hunh? 

LILLIAN: You're laughing at me. 

CRAIG: Not really. 

LILLIAN: That's OK. 

CRAIG: I'm not laughing.

LILLIAN: You aren't? 

CRAIG: No. 

LILLIAN: I'm glad. But it would have been OK if you were. I mean, 

I like you. 

CRAIG: Well, that goes both ways. And I wasn't laughing at you.

LILLIAN: (Pretending to be embarrassed.) Well, gosh.

Craig. (A beat.) So quiet now. I've gotten so used to hearing kids voices. Now they're gone, it all sounds sort of naked.

Follow Up Line

CRAIG: You packed?

LILLIAN: I'm putting it off.

CRAIG: I know, it's a drag, isn't it?

FIONA: Well, Lucy Bernell's mother finally showed up. 

CRAIG. About time. 

FIONA: One of my little monsters in cabin three. Her mother was supposed to pick her up and she was late or something. 

CRAIG: The mother or the kid? 

FIONA: I heard there was a lake here. Thought with luck I might see 

one drown. 

CRAIG: What a pleasant thought. 

FIONA: I'm a meanie, didn't you know that? 

CRAIG: Sure. 

FIONA: I am. 

CRAIG: I believe you. 

FIONA: OK, don't say I didn't warn you. 

CRAIG: Guess what I got for a tip?

LILLIAN: What were you saying, Craig? 

CRAIG: This guy hands me an envelope and right away I can feel there's something other than money in it. I open it up and it's maybe an ounce of grass. 

LILLIAN: Whose dad was that?

CRAIG: You know Dave Greenberg? 

FIONA: The little freak? 

CRAIG: A clear case of like son, like father. 

FIONA: OK, let's see. 

CRAIG: See what? 

FIONA: Isn't he cute when he plays innocent? Your tip. 

CRAIG: I'll show you mine if you show me yours. 

FIONA: You know what I'll bet, I'll bet it's some of that anemic home- 

grown stuff. 

CRAIG: Only one way to find out. 

FIONA: All right then, break it out and let's put it to the test. 

CRAIG: Don't have it with me. 

FIONA: Where is it? 

CRAIG: Back in my cabin, in my secret hiding place. 

LILLIAN: You'll want to be careful. 

CRAIG: What about? 

LILLIAN: Remember what happened to Leonard. 

CRAIG: Leonard was a different case entirely. 

LILLIAN: They caught him with dope. 

CRAIG: They caught him turning on the kids in his cabin. That was 

Leonard's fatal mistake.

FIONA: Yeah, but till they kicked him out, he was the most popular 

counselor in the camp. 

CRAIG: I think what tipped them off was the water pipe one of his 

kids made in arts and crafts. 

LILLIAN: I'm just saying be careful. 

CRAIG: I appreciate your concern. But we're leaving tomorrow, so it's 

not like there's any great danger. 

LILLIAN: It's not. Just because I don't do it, I'm not saying anything about

anyone else. 

CRAIG: You've never smoked? 

LILLIAN: No, it's just I didn't enjoy it.

CRAIG: You're kidding. 

LILLIAN: Why am I kidding? 

CRAIG: You didn't enjoy it at all? 

LILLIAN: What, is this the new taboo, you don't admit you don' t enjoy dope? You say it like it's something I should be ashamed of 

CRAIG: No. 

LILLIAN: If you enjoy it, terrific. 

CRAIG: Well, I do.