August Osage County Lines

(Scene begins)

Did you call Barb?

Yes.

When’d you call her?

This morning.

What’d she say?

She’s on her way.

How’s she getting here?

She and Bill are coming.

Is she driving?

I doubt it.

Why?

Boulder’s a long way.

Is she bringing Jean?

I don’t know.

When did she say she’d be here?

She didn’t say. She just said she was on her way.

What’d you tell her?

I told her Dad was missing.

That’s all.

Is there anything else?

Did you tell her how long he’d been missing?

Five days.

Did you tell her that?

I think so.

What did she say?

She said she was on her way.

Goddamn it. Ivy, what did she say? Was she irritated? Was she amused? Tell me what she said.

She said she was on her way.

You’re hopeless. | Goddamn your father for putting me through this. For leaving me to handle this. You seen that office of his, all that paperwork, that mess? I can’t make heads or tails of it. He hired this Indian a week ago to look after the place for some goddamn reason and now I have a stranger in my house. I don’t know what to say to that girl. What’s her name?

Johnna.

He’s always paid the bills and made the phone calls and now suddenly I’m supposed to handle it? You know this house is falling apart, something about the basement or the sump pump or the foundation. I don’t know anything about it. I can’t do all this by myself.

I called Karen.

What did she say?

She said she’d try to get here.

She’ll be a big fat help, just like you. I need Barb.

I don’t know what Barb’s going to be able to do.

What did you do to your hair?

I had it straightened.

You had it straightened. Why would anybody do that?

I don’t know.

Why did you do it?

I just wanted a change.

You’re a pretty girl. You’re the prettiest of my three girls, but you always look like such a schlub. Why don’t you wear any makeup?

Do I need makeup?

All women need makeup. Don’t let anybody tell you different. The only woman who was pretty enough to go without makeup was Elizabeth Taylor and she wore a ton. Sit up straight.

Mom.

Your shoulders are slumped and your hair’s all straight and you don’t wear makeup. You look like a lesbian. You’re a pretty enough girl you could get a decent man of you spruced up. A bit, that’s all I’m saying.

I’m not looking for a man.

You should be. Everybody needs somebody.

I’m not looking for a man.

Listen, there are a lot of losers out there, don’t think I don’t know it. But just because you got a bad one doesn’t mean-

Barry wasn’t a loser.

Barry was an asshole. And I warned you from the start, didn’t I? First time you brought him over here in his ridiculous little electric car, with that stupid orange beard and that turban-

It wasn’t a turban-

I just don’t understand some of the choices you make. You’re forty-three years old

Forty- four.

Forty-four years old. Maybe you’re past the point of having children, and that’s all right if you don’t want them, but aren’t you interested in finding a husband?

A husband. In Pawhuska.

You don’t meet people where you live, you meet them where you work. You work at a college. Don’t tell me there aren’t people coming through the door of that library every day.

You want me to marry a student, some eighteen-year-old boy from one of these hick towns?

They still have teachers on the Tulsa campus, don’t they? They did when your father taught there-

Barry was a teacher at TU.

Yeah, “Environmental Studies.” Barry was a loser.

He wasn’t a loser-

He dumped you, didn’t he? To my mind, that makes him-

He did not dump me. It just didn’t work out between us.

All right, yes, dear, I’m sorry. I’ll get it straight. I’m sorry. But maybe it would’ve worked out between you if you’d worn some makeup. How many was that?

I wasn’t counting. Is your mouth burning?

Like a son-of-a-bitch. My tongue is on fire.

Are you supposed to be smoking?

Is anyone supposed to smoke?

You have cancer of the mouth.

Ivy. I have enough to worry about right this minute without you getting on me about my smoking.

I’m not getting on you.

Just leave it alone.

Are you scared?

‘Course I’m scared. And you are a comfort, sweetheart. Thank God one of my girls stayed close to home. My generation, families stayed together.

That was a different time.

No kidding. Did you call Mattie Fae?

Aunt Mattie Fae’s here.

I know that, dummy, did you call her?

I thought you called her.

I guess I did. I don’t remember.

You’ve got a lot on your mind.

She means to come here and tell me what’s what.

I don’t know how Uncle Charlie puts up with it.

He smokes a lot of grass.

He does?

He smokes a lot of grass.

“Grass”? You say “grass”?

What do you call it?

Hey, are you into Clapton now?

What?

Eric Clapton, you have an Eric Clapton album.

I’ve had it forever.

I’ve never seen it.

I like it. It’s got a good beat. I’m not old, you know.