Conflict Mgmt Final

Define the term: Power

the ability to produce intended effects, influence the behavior of another person, and to resist the influence attempts of others

What are the strategies used by low power positions?

stay actively engaged

focus on interdependence

understand the power of calm persistence

what is the difference between either/or and both/and power

either/or: using power above or against the other person

• either I have power or you have power

both/and: power that is shared between two people

what is metacommunication

being verbally explicit about communication. communicating about communication

what are the differences in conflict styles and tactics

styles: patterned responses or clusters of behavior people use in conflict

tactics: individual moves one uses to carry out the styles

what are the 5 conflict management styles

Compromise: I win/lose, you win/lose

Collaborate: I win, you win

Accommodate: I lose, you win

Avoidant: I lose, you lose

Competing: I win, you lose

where winning is representative for concern. (I win = high concern for self)

what are some examples of verbal aggressiveness

• profanity

• insults

• character attacks

• humiliation

what are some differences between self-protective emotions and prosocial emotions

Emotions are states of feeling.

self-protective: are generally associated with the right hemisphere of the brain. associated with competition/survival/fighting

prosocial: associated with the left hemisphere of the brain, positive emotions such as joy/empathy

what are some misconceptions about emotions

• emotions cannot be controlled

• emotions hinder good decision making

• emotions should not be expressed at work

• one should ignore emotions to resolve conflict well

what is the “moral” emotion

Anger

what are the gender differences when covering up emotions

women: women cover up anger more than men

men: men cover up sadness more than women

what TRIP goals are threatened when we feel extreme emotions

Identity goals

when we feel intense emotions, it becomes a threat to who we are

what is an XYZ statement

X: when you …… (when you tease me….)

Y: Context (when we are in public)

Z: how you feel (it makes me feel embarrassed and sad)

what range of intensity conflict is typically most effective

the middle level of intensity, not completely devoid of emotion but also not letting them run rampant as well

what are the functions of emotion

• conflict depends on emotional arousal to get the job done

• emotional events trigger familiar patterns of responses

• intensity of emotions vary throughout the conflict process

• individual personality are the building blocks of emotion behavior patterns

• we experience emotion as good/bad

• we become emotional when something is at stake for us

• maturity mediates strong emotion

• relationships are defined by the kind of emotion expressed

name, describe, and give an example of power currencies

RICE

R: Resource control (money, time controls)

I: Interpersonal linkages (who you know that gives you power)

C: communication skill (enhanced communication skills give you power persuasion)

E: Expertise (knowledge that you have, and that others value)

what are some consequences of constant high-power feelings

• a taste of power and the relentless pursuit of more power

  • you have power then you will always want more

• Lying without fear of consequences

• may start to bully other people

• blindness about genuine problems

• demeaning other people

what is my conflict style from the Thomas Kilmnan Mode Instrument? why is this your preferred style and what are the advantages/disadvantages?

what are some cautions/limitations of conflict styles

• purely individual styles do not exist

• people often see themselves as trying to solve the problem

• perception of styles varies between parties

• people often see others as controlling/aggressive

• some studies show gender differences

• there is an underreporting of avoidance styles

• styles change as a result of life experiences

Form an XYZ statement from a given scenario

What are the benefits of studying conflict management?

• It’s a fact of human life and occurs in a variety of settings.

• practicing constructive criticism is an essential skill

• mental health improves (self and others)

• long term satisfaction in family, romantic, and workplace relationships

What are some behaviors common in escalatory spirals

• moves only in one direction upward and onward

• “getting even”

• when conflict gets out of hand

• brings about other negative effects

What are avoidance spirals and their corresponding behaviors

• active attempts to lessen dependance

• less invested in the relationship, reliance is lesser

• expect less from the other

• withdraw with much greater frequency

what are the key differences between the sexes and the four horsemen

• women tend to criticize more, men stonewall more

what are some signs of gridlock

• talk is devoid of humor, amusement and affection

• feel more frustrated and hurt after you talk then before

• keep talking but make no headway

• conflict makes you feel rejected by your partner

how should you communicate a constructive complaint

Neutral non-judgmental language

What are most expressed struggles activated by

a triggering event

what are the conflict metaphors (win/loss)

• Explosive (conflict is explosive)

• “She is about to blow up”

What is the most common conflict metaphor

War

characteristics of conflict in individualistic cultures

• explicit communication codes

• action and solution-oriented communication

• open direct strategies

• analytic linear logic

What is the social learning theory

Notion that individuals learn male and female communication behaviors through observation of and communication with same sex groups.

What are the family system types & a example of behaviors

• collaborative systems: meet to discuss issues, active listening.

• avoidant systems: walking away from conflict

• aggressive systems: survival of the fittest, don’t back down.

What are neutral and objective conflict metaphors

• conflict is a game

• conflict is a balancing act

• conflict is a adventure

What is a transformative conflict metaphor

• conflict is a dance

• conflict is a tide

• conflict is a garden

common negative views of conflict

• conflict should never be escalated

• anger is the only emotion in conflict interaction

• conflict constitutes a breakdown of communication

• harmony is normal and conflict is abnormal

what are the trip goals

• topic: different ideas about what to do

• relation: how do you want to be treated

  • WHO ARE WE TO EACH OTHER

• identity: maintenance of self-image

  • WHO AM I

• process: how can the communication process be bettered

what are prospective, transitive, and retrospective goals

prospective is before the interaction (help you prepare for the interaction)

transitive is during

retrospective is after the interaction (give a sense of clarity when we look back at the conflict)

what are the advantages of clarifying goals

• clear goals are reached more often

• clear goals can be altered more easily than vague goals

• only clear goals can be shared

• solutions go unrecognized if you don’t know what you want

what are some features of conflict goals

• not all goals occur in all disputes

• identity and relational issues are the drivers of disputes, they underly topic and process issues

• interest and goals overlap but differ in primacy

• in a serious dispute topic solutions are rarely satisfying

• conflict parties often specialize in one kind of goal

• goals may emerge in a different form

what are the four horsemen of the apocalypse

• stonewalling: you aren’t saying anything even if you are in the presence of the other person. checked out mentally

• defensiveness: attack back at the other person

• criticism: “you never do this”

• contempt: mocking the other person. putting the other person down and trying to gain a higher ground.

what are the 5 essential features of conflict

• conflict is an expressed struggle

• interdependence is present

• interference

• incompatible goals

• scares resources

describe the family system you most identify with

aggressive, win or lose mindset, very combative. Neither me nor my sister back down in arguments and yelling at each other was common when we were younger. This behavior is what we learned in part from our parent’s conflict style but also from our general upbringing in sports and other competitive fields.

what are the five collaborative goals

• short medium and long-range issues are addressed

• goals are behaviorally specific

• statements orient towards the present and the future

• goals recognize interdependence

• goals recognize an ongoing process