Willard Lines

Rusty: Oh, girl, leave that poor boy alone! (bumps into Ren)

Hey, Mister! You bumped me!

Ren: Sorry

Don't you ever look where you're goin'?

Ren: I said I was sorry.

Hey! You're that new guy from Chicago, ain'tcha?

Ren: Perhaps

Smart guy huh? Listen fella, around here you push somebody, they push back. Next thing you know you got .... two people pushing. Get it?

Ren: Got it. Lemme ask you something. They sell men's clothes where you got that hat?

What is that, some kind of stupid joke?

REN: No, that's a really good joke.

That's it man. I'm gonna kill you!

REN: Oh, please! Kill me!

Huh?

REN: Kill me! KILL ME! That's the most exciting thing I've heard since I hit town! Ren McCormack. And you are...?

Willard. Willard Hewitt.

REN: Willard, what do you do around here for a good time? (WILLARD makes lewd gesture) Yeah, besides that. You have any clubs.

Nope.

REN: What about movies?

Nope.

REN: What about malls?

Nope.

Ren: What about...

Nope, nope and nope. (pause) We do have the Bowl-A-Rama down by the interstate.

REN: Bowl-A-Rama?! Wow. I really admire you. I could never do what you guys do around here.

Yeah? What exactly do we do?

REN: (singing) Kick back and chill.

But, I can't stand still!

I can see that.

REN: (singing) I've had my fill

I can't stand still!

Around here we walk.

REN: What? Oh, that! I was just showing him some steps. Stuff we used to do at the clubs.

Don't... don't!

Principal: Mr. McCormack!

Oh crap

REN: What?

Listen to the woman!

Principal: Mr. Hewitt! Would you inform your friend?

It's against the law.

REN: Dancing?! Get out!

(To Ren) Shut up!

(To principal) Principal Clark, sir, Ren is very sorry. He was ignorant of our local law and I will inform him of his ignorance.

RUSTY: Omigosh, Willard! The way you spoke to Principal Clark! Wow, that's, like, the longest sentence you've ever made!

Pwshht. (Flustered, exits)

WENDY JO: Hi Willard!

Hi. How're y'all doing?

ALL: Oh... You know... Okay... Good...

Hey, Rusty.

Rusty: Hey, Willard

(long pause) Well, see ya!

Ariel: It's not on the menu. (Ren Skates over to WILLARD)

If Chuck sees you flirting with Ariel, you are a dead man.

Ren: She usually doesn't even remember me.

Well, that uniform makes you look like such an idiot, it's easier to pick you out.

REN: you are always looking for a fight, aren't you

My mama says it's in my nature.

REN: Willard, shut up and tell me what you know about Ariel.

Well, I know she's been kissed. A LOT

REN: And...?

And she is on to you like hog on slop!

REN: Get outta here!

Ariel likes trouble. And you have definitely proved to everybody in this town that you are T-R-U-B-L.

REN: What's the deal with you and Rusty?

Beats me. I think she' good-looking and all. But I never know what the heck she's talking about! She talks faster than any girl I ever met.

CHUCK: Get your hand outta my face. And get your face outta my sight.

Hey, Chuck! You looking for a fight? Let's Party!

REN: Willard! Willard, don't lose me this job...!

Aw, man, let me nail him! I'll nail him!

CHUCK: You haven't seen the last of me, McCormack.

Could I please kick his butt?

BETTY: Willard! What's that your mama says? "Before you make a fist, make sure it's your fight."

Yes, ma'am

Ariel: Coach, Ren is hurt! look at his eye

(lifts REN's banged up hand) And his hand! He's all banged up!

Ariel: It's not an excuse! After Ren walked me home last night, some guys jumped him.

They just started wailing on him! There was, like, six of 'em!

Coach: That mouth of yours is probably what made your daddy walk out in the first place

(trying to calm REN) Count to ten man! Mama says just count to ten!

COACH: You're right. Make it fifty.

He's not faking, Coach. He's really hurting.

REN: Sorry guys. It's just that this whole damn town is so wound up!

Amen!

REN: At least in Chicago we could go to the clubs.

(Sarcastically) Hey! Maybe we oughta take the Coach dancing.

Ren: Willard, you are so...

What? What're you thinking?

REN: That's IT!

What?

REN: I'll take on anybody!

What about the town council?

REN: (singing) I may fly or fall, but either way

I'm Free!

Ren you're not free - you're crazy! You know there's a law!

INTERMISSION

yay nice job :)

RUSTY: Then what are we waiting for?

Oh my gosh

Rusty: Willard! You wanna dance?

First thing I wanna do is find us a place to sit down!

COWBOY BOB: Now, where were we?

Hey! She came with me, Cowboy.

COWBOY BOB: Yeah? Well, we all make mistakes.

And what's that supposed to mean?

Rusty: Willard! He was just being friendly!

Oh, yeah?!

COWBOY BOB: Look, son, it's much too early in the evening to get blood on that pretty little shirt of yours. And ma'am? My condolences.

(To RUSTY) What does he mean by that?

(Calls after COWBOY BOB) Hey! HEY! You got something to say?

RUSTY: Willard, Hey, Willard. I know who I came with, okay?

Oh. Well. okay

Rusty: Now c'mon. Let's dance!

Uh-h-h... I think I'm gonna get me a drink.

Rusty: Oh, gawd!

Ren, you want a drink.

REN: Sounds good! Then I'll have a drink.

Okay. That's two drinks.

RUSTY: I wanna dance! I wanna dance!

I've only got two hands! Ren, could you help me out here?

REN: You okay? You seem jumpy.

That's why I'm having a drink. Mama says I can have one drink or one cigarette, but if I have both I should never come home again.

Ren: Willard, c'mon. What's up? You finally go out on a date with Rusty...

Hold on, hold on! Is this a date?! You asked me to go for a ride. You told Ariel to invite Rusty. It's more like I'm on a date with you

Ren: And you look so handsome tonight.

Well, Thank you! But you stuck me in the backseat with a crazy woman who won't stop moving and talking!

REN: She's excited to be with you.

Oh, well. Sure. That. But the problem is...

REN: Yes?

Between you and me?

REN: Uh-huh

I can't do it.

REN: oh. "It?" You can't do "it"?

No, sir.

REN: Well, that's okay, Willard. It's only the first date.

Right.

REN: You don't have to do "it" on the first date. Even in Chicago, some people don't do "it" on the first date.

Really?

REN: I swear.

Well, that makes me feel a lot better.

Ren: Great! Then let's dance!

Dance? Dance?! What the heck do you think I'm talking about?

REN: When you said you couldn't do "it," I thought you meant...

What? (It dawns on him) Oh, that? Any idiot can do that! I can't do this! I can't dance!

COWBOY BOB: It's as easy as learning to swim!

I can't swim!

(Enter JUNKYARD scene)

Hold it! Hold it!

Ren. All's we're sayin' is: you're going to be speaking to the town council, so don't mumble.

Now do that last part one more time.

REN: Members of the council: dancing is not a crime.

YEAH.

BOYS: Are you out of your mind?/"Party in their pants?"/What are you thinking, man?!

Guys! Cool it!

(breath)

Ren, we're not saying the speech is bad. It's just that it's not good

Ren: Then what am I supposed to say? I've re-written it nine times

Here's the thing: you're gonna be facing reverend Moore and some of the stubbornest people in town.

REN: Then who am I kidding? This whole thing has gotten way out of hand. Maybe I ought to forget it.

Whoa there, little buddy! We don't mean to discourage you.

GARVIN: Everybody at school is climbing the walls!

So, hang in there! You just gotta re-think your approach. Now, Mama says...

BOYS: Not Mama again!/Who cares what Mama says?/Oh, man!

Now hold on just one minute!

(Mama says interlude 1)

Mama ain't been wrong yet. And I'm the living proof!

JETER: That's kind of a frightening thought, isn't it?

Now, listen up!

Mama says...

GARVIN: You can't back down, Ren!

Now, Ren, you have not yet had the pleasure of meeting my Mama, but these boys have. C'mon and help me out here fellas.

REN: Then maybe your Mama oughta give my speech.

Oh, No chance! Everyone thinks Mama's crazy. The point is, though, she's got some really good ideas. Hear me, now -

WENDY JO: Chuck beat her up! She might have a black eye!

C'mon boys. Let's get Chuck. Right now!

Ariel: I'm fine.

You want me to call your folks?

REN: My name is Ren McCormack, and...uh...

on behalf of most of the senior class of Bomont High, I move that local ordinance 416-the law against public dancing within the Bomont town limits-be abolished.

And I, Willard Hewitt of 385 Cloverdale Road, would like to second that motion. Thank you.

CHUCK: Losers.

Rusty, now here's the deal. I could throw a clean sheet over the front seat of the pick-up so we don't end up smelling like the dogs.

RUSTY: Uh-huh.

Daddy's suit kinda fits and I could roll up the pants legs with duct tape.

RUSTY: I love where this is going.

Mama could whip up one of those...

...um ...croissants?

RUSTY: A corsage?

One of them!

RUSTY: You're painting a picture for me, aren't you? I see a rusty truck that smells bad, a taped-up brown suit, and me, wearing a corsage made out of God knows what.

Whaddya think?

RUSTY: Is there a dance in there someplace?

Yes, ma'am. You wanna?

OFF NIGHT

GARVIN

Bickle: You said party in your pants!

what does that even mean!

JETER: Folks are picking sides.

And they're not picking yours!

JETER: All the flyers we've passed out?

Everybody at school is climbing the walls!

REN: Singing

Once you drive up a mountain

You can't back down

You can't back down Ren.