brothers grimm spectaculathon

This is a busy street.

Hello there.

You’re hideous and deformed!

Look, I have a great bargain for you-

My stomach recoils in horror as you approach!

Yes I know that but-

Why has God’s creation been so perverted?

Do you want to hear my offer or not?

Sure. Go ahead. You’re probably trustworthy and I’m stupid and don’t judge people by their appearances.

I shall make you rich, rich, I tell you! Beyond your wildest dreams!

Can I have my own jet fighter? With Tom Cruise in it? When he was 23 and not into the strange stuff?

He was still into that stuff, he just wasn’t advertising it. Anyway, I will make you very rich, not so rich that you can afford that bra or the jet fighter, but rich enough. And I ask only one small thing in return.

Sounds good.

Don’t you want to know what the thing is?

No, I trust you.

Very well.

Your time is up

You know I was just passing through ther neighborhood and I was thinking I forgot something like eighteen years ago, and then I was like, oh yeah, I was supposed to get that thing from that girl. And then here I was right at your house. I mean, that’s pretty cool, huh?

Fine what do you want

Your child

Your child

Well there wouldn’t even be a child if I wasn’t there providing the mood music on the night that-

Or the other witch woman or the freaky ugly dwarf guy-

If you can guess my name I will release you from-

Runplestilitskin

Ah! Dang it!

And then the little man stomped his feet so hard they broke through the floor and when he tried to pull them out, he broke in half

Aaggggg

Ah the devil, the enchantress and a weird guy!

Rumplestiltskin. Darn it!