Monica - Bad Seed

KENNETH. Come in, Monica come in emory

MONICA. Just the effusive neighbors from upstairs, darling! Have to be in on everything. No lives of their own, so they live other people's. I speak for my brother as well as myself, because he never gets a chance to speak when I'm around. There, I've talked enough. Say something, Colonel.

KENNETH. I’m counting on you emory. and on monica

MONICA. Good-bye, Kenneth.

KENNETH. Good-bye

MONICA. By the way, nobody has to take Rhoda to the bus, because I made some cupcakes for Miss Fern, and she’s coming by to pick them up.

CHRISTINE. Oh, good.

MONICA. But before she comes I have two little presents for you, my darling.

RHODA. Presents!

MONICA. The first is from Emory. It’s a pair of dark glasses with rhinestone decorations. Now who is this glamorous Hollywood actress? Can it really be little Rhoda Penmark who lives with her delightful parents on the first floor of my apartment house?

RHODA. I like them. Where’s the case?

MONICA. Here it is. And now for the second presents, which I is from me. This was given to me when I was eight years old. It’s a little young for me now, but it’s still just right for an eight-year-old. However, it has a garnet set in it, and we’ll have to change that for a torquoise is your birthstone. So I’ll have it changed and cleaned, and then it’s yours.

RHODA. Am I to keep this now?

MONICA. You’re to keep it till I find out where I can get the stone changed.

CHRISTINE Oh, yes, you can begin in the bedroom, Leroy. Excuse me, Ma’am mornin.

MONICA. You sound like Fred Astair, tap-tapping across the room. What have you gt on your shoes?

RHODA. I run over my heels, and mother had these iron pieces put on so theyd last longer

MONICA. Oh, you precious little sweetheart! But I’ll tell you one thing, Rhoda, I think you sorry too much when you’re not the very best at everything. That’s one reason Emory and I thought you should have some presents today. You wanted that penmanship metal very much, didn’t you?

RHODA. I wont. I wont. I wont.

MONICA. Leroy! Have you completely lost your senses? You spilled water on Rhoda’s shoes!

LEROY. I'm sorry ma'am I guess I was just trying to hurry.

MONICA. Leroy!

RHODA. He meant to do it. I know Leroy well.

MONICA. It was no accident, Christine! It was deliberate the spiteful act of a neurotic child.

CHRISTINE. Rhoda!

MONICA. My patience is at an end, and you may as well know it. Go about your work.

LEROY. Yes, maam

MONICA. That’ll be Miss Fern.

MISS FERN. I’m a bit ahead of time, as usual.

MONICA. I left two dozen cupcakes upstairs. Rhoda, will you help me carry them down?

MISS FERN. The other children. Well, I

MONICA. Here we are!

RHODA. Yes, Miss Fern.

MONICA. So now the older set’s left behind with nothing to do. Why don’t we make some kind of party of this? You’re having Emory and Reginald Tasker to lunch, can’t I help with that?

CHRISTINE. Please I don't like to hear about such things.

MONICA. You don’t?

CHRISTINE. No.

MONICA. Now that’s an interesting psychic block. Why would Christine dislike hearing about murders?

CHRISTINE. I don’t know - I have an aversion to violence of any kind. I even hate the revolver Kenneth keeps in the house

MONICA. Hmm, maybe if you’ll try saying the first thing that comes into your mind, we can get at the root of anxiety. Just say it, no matter how silly it seems to you! Tell you story, Reggie, and Christine will associate.

CHRISINE. Mrs. Allison had brought her niece a present, it was ten cents worth of arsentic

MONICA. There must be something in your mind - something!

CHRISTINE. Well, I was thinking at the moment of how devoted the Fern sisters were to my father, when he was a radio commentator.

MONICA. Is there more of the story, Reggie?

TASKER. She opened a bottle of sarsaparilla for her niece, and then watch the little girls convulsions for an hours.

MONICA. Now - without thinking at all - what's your seconds association? No editing - No skipping.

CHRISTINE. Well, what I was thinking then was even sillier. I’ve always had a feeling that I was an adopted child, and that the Bravos weren’t my real parents.

MONICA. Oh, you porr innocent daring! Have you really always had this suspicion that you were adopted?

CHRISTINE. Yes, always.

MONICA. But no evidence?

CHRISTINE. Only that i dream about it.

MONICA. What kind of dream?

CHRISTINE. Of course not. Ill just clear these off

MONICA. I’ll lend a hand.

THE RADIO. “The name of the victim is being withheld until the parents are first notified. Mor news of the tragic affair is expected momentarly”

MONICA. It was not Rhoda. Rhoda is too self-reliant. It was some timid, confused youngster afraid of its own shadow. It certainly wasn’t Rhoda.

CHRISTINE. That poor child-poor little boy,

MONICA. They’ll send the children home immediately. They must be on their way now. We’d better go.

CHRISTINE. Monica, I don't know what to say to her.

MONICA. It’s between you and Rhoda, now. Nobody else can help.

CHRISTINE. Yes, I suppose so.

MONICA. We’ll be upstairs in case you need us.

CHRISTINE. Ill get the locket. know where she keeps it.

MONICA. Good. Ah, you found it! Good-bye, darling.

CHRISTINE. Hellom Fern school. Miss Claudia Fern please. no. no message. She’s not home yet. (SCENE 5)

MONICA. (SCENE 5) Anybody here?

RHODA. Hello, aunt Monica!

MONICA. Hi, honey.

RHODA. Mother!

MONICA. Oh, Christine! You said I might have Rhoda for a while. And there’s a package for you.

CHRISTINE. Thank you Monica. You’re always the bringer of gifts.

MONICA. This is from somebody else It was in the package room.

RHODA. What does anticipation mean?

MONICA. Looking forward to it.

RHODA. Okay.

MONICA. I wish she were mine! Every time I look at her I wish I had just such a little girl.

CHRISTINE. She's not wanted in the Fern school next year.

MONICA. Why?

CHRISTINE. She doesn't fit in, doesn’t play the game. She’s a poor sport,

MONICA. The truth of the matter is, Rhoda is much too charming, too clever, too unusual for them! She makes those other look stupid and stodgy by comparison! Could Rhoda stay up and have dinner with me tonight?

CHRISTINE. Yes, she could. I've asked Reginald Tasker over for cocktails and to talk to me about some writing I want to try.

MONICA. Rhoda, you’re to have dinner with me tonight.

RHODA. I am? May I bring my new puzzle?

MONICA. You surely may.

RHODA. It’s a map of Asia with all the animals.

MONICA. Let him sweep it, dear. I shall run up and look at the simmering meat sauce.

RHODA. Oh, is it spaghetti?

MONICA. It is. Approve?

RHODA. My favorite!

MONICA. Come up any time. It must be nearly ready.

MESSENGER. Mrs Penmark?

MONICA. Yes. This is her door. Western Union for you, dear.

BRAVO. What has she done?

MONICA. Excuse me, please, but Rhoda has eaten her dinner, tired of her pizzle and now she wants a book. And I haven’t met Mr. Bravo. How do you do. I’m Mrs. Breedlove. he oversized analyst. I’m going to put you up, and promise not to annoy you.

BRAVO. I want to see your face.

MONICA. You know, Mr. Bravo, these Penmark are the most enchanting neighbors I’ve ever had. Now I’ll want Rhoda for dinner every night. Tell me, Mr. Bravo, didn’t you write the Fingerprint Series?

BRAVO. Maybe I should find my room and get ready for the evening.

MONICA. I’ll take you up if you’d like to go now.

LEROY. Yes, Maam

MONICA. Look what I have for you, Rhoda. Turquoise!

RHODA. Thank you aunt Monica.

MONICA. And here’s the garnet too.