Rainbow Fish (Starfish Lines)

Actor 5: So come with us!

All: Dive

Actor 2: Down through the crashing waves!

All: Dive!

Actor 3: Down to the ocean floor!

All: Swim!

Actor 4: Out through the forest of kelp!

All: Rise!

Actor 5: To the top of a volcanic shelf

All: And arrive at our Kingdom of Coral!

RF: Hey there, Starfish. I think my scales are looking extra good so far. What do you think?

Starfish: What?! Who’s that? Is that Mackerel?

RF: No, it’s me, Rainbow Fish.

Starfish: Oh! Hey, buddy! You haven’t seen Mackerel, have you? He owes me a sand dollar.

RF: No, I haven’t, But Starfish I’m asking how you like the show so far?

S: Mm… which show would that be?

RF: Mine. You know how every day I swim around the reef so everyone can see my scales?

S: Aw, no. I must have missed it! Guh. Typical Starfish.

RF: No Starfish, it’s happening. Right now. Look! I swim around like this, and the other fish all stop and tell me how great I am.

S: Wow, that’s great!

RF: Yes, exactly

S: I get it now! So, does that mean I’m in the show?

RF: Well-

S: Oh boy, my big break! Here, do your part again.

RF: My part?

S: Yeah! First you do something, then I tell you how great it is right?

RF: No, I’m the only one in the show, Starfish

S: Wow! That’s great!

RF: What you’re doing right now isn’t part of the show.

S: So amazing!

RF: You’re not listening!

S: I can’t believe it!

RF: Starfish!

S: You know I’m just kidding. But it would be fun! Rainbow Fish and Starfish, out there on the comedy current like Halibut and Codstello!

CL: Hey look out!

S: We could even incorporate this circus act.

RF: What are you talking about?

S: These Clowns! Every show could use a couple of clowns!

CL: We are not Clowns!

S: Well you are a clownfish.

CL: And Pufferfish writes the “Style and Culture” column for the Choral Chronicle.

S: Oh, yeah! You’re the one who writes all those puff pieces.

RF: I don’t know.

S: Will there be Snacks?

RF: Starfish, maybe you could find a nice rock over there or something.

S: Okay, but if there are snacks, I want a cut.

RF: Get Away from me! You all saw! You saw that little fish try to take them from me! These are my scales! They’re mine! They’re mine! Wow, some fish huh? You think they’re nice, and then it turns out they just want to take your things.

S: Oh, well… I’m looking for the rock I’m gonna sit on. Looking for a rock! I gotta pick one. “Pick me Starfish!” Okay, Rock! Oh, hang on a second… rocks don’t talk! “I’m not really! That’s just you!” Oh, yeah! That’s true! Zooby shooby dooby… kerplop!

RF: Starfish, can you believe what that Little Fish just did?

S: What?! Who’s that? Is that Mackerel?

RF: No! It’s Rainbow Fish.

S: Oh! Hey, buddy. You haven’t seen Mackerel, have you? He owes me a-

RF: -sand dollar. Yeah, I know.

S: Whoa! How’d you know that?

RF: You told me earlier. Just before those fancy fish invited to their party.

S: That's right I did! So, you haven’t seen him, have-

RF: No, I haven’t.

S: Oh well. What were you saying about a little fish?

RF: It doesn’t matter. I’ve got more important things to think about, like this fancy party.

S: I don’t know why you want to go to that thing. It sounds boring.

RF: It’s a party for important fish, and I’m Important, so that’s where I belong. You probably can’t understand because you’re just ordinary,

S: That’s true! Boy, Im lucky I’ve got you to explain this stuff to me.

RF: Yeah, well, I’ve got to go now.

S: Why?

RF: I have to go to the party, Starfish.

S: Ooh! There’s a party?

RF: Yes! The Fancy one! That’s what we were just talking about!

S: Oh. Well, I thought there might be two parties.

RF: Bye, Starfish.

S: Hey, Rock, why didn’t the boulder like going to parties? I don’t know starfish why didn’t the boulder like going to parties? It wasn’t much of a pebble person. Zooby Shooby Dooby…kerplop.

RF: Instead of what? Instead of being ordinary? This is what I do! This is who I am! Laying Low. I don’t even know what that means. Can you imagine? Me? Sulking along the ocean floor like a slug or an urchin or a... or a…

S: Oh, well. I’m walking along the seabed, talking to all my sea friends. Hello, friends! I see you. Get it? “See Friends?” Hmmm, tough crowd. Oh, hello. What kind of fish are you? I like your hat. Are you a baseball fan? I always root for the Marlins. The Marlins! Get it? No? Hmmm… Zooby shooby dooby… kerplop!

RF: Hey, Starfish.

S: What? Who’s that? Oh, it’s you again.

RF: I guess no one’s excited to see me today.

S: Huh? No, it’s not, buddy. I was just hoping it was Mackerel. I don’t know if you’ve heard, but that guy owes me a—-

RF: Yea, I Heard.

S: Hey, he wasn’t at that fancy party, was he? Boy, that’d be just like him. Going to some fancy party when he knows he still owes me a sand dollar.

RF: I don’t know. They didn’t want me there.

S: Really? But didn’t they invite you?

RF: I guess they changed their minds.

S:Huh

RF: But who cares about them?

S: Yeah! Who cares?

RF: Telling me to relax and play a game. I’ll show them. Maybe I will.

S: Yeah!

RF: I’ll go swim with some ordinary fish.

S: Yea! Some ordinary fish!

RF: I’ll go swim with Little Fish’s school!

S: Yeah!

RF: Yeah!

S: Yeah!

RF: Bye Starfish!

S: Bye Starfish! Wait, I’m Starfish. Uh-oh. Am I supposed to be going somewhere?

Start of Scene 4

S: Mackerel? Nope. Mackerel? Nope. Zooby shooby dooby…kerplop!

RF: Hey, Starfish

S: Whoa! Who’s that?

RF: It’s me Rainbow Fish

S: Rainbow Fish! Hey… don’t you owe me a sand dollar?

RF: No, that’s Mackerel.

S: Right, Mackerel! You haven’t seen him, have you?

RF: No. But he’s probably avoiding me.

S: Does he owe you sand dollar too? Boy, I’ve just about “haddock” up to here with that guy.

RF: No, Starfish. All the other fish keep swimming away every time I try to show off. They don’t like me anymore! They won’t even look at me!

S: Oh, no! Hey, it’s okay. Come here and tell old Starfish all about it.

RF: Okay…

S: You maybe want one of my world-famous hugs?

RF: Yeah

S: All right. Come here.

RF: To be honest, it’s a little disappointing.

S: Yeah. Being disappointing is what my hugs are famous for. You’d think with six arms I could give better hugs.

RF: Starfish, you only have five arms.

S: What? One,two,three,four,five..oh right. Maybe that’s the problem.

RF: I think the problem is the other fish.

S: Really? I’d never even thought of that! Maybe I give great hugs, but everyone I know is really bad at being hugged.

RF: I’m not talking about your hugs, Starfish. I'm talking about my problem.

S: Oh, right! Sorry, I get distracted.

RF: So, earlier today this Little Fish came up and asked if I wanted to swim with her school.

S: Okay, yeah. I’m with you. I’m following.

RF: And I told her I couldn’t because, you know, I’m the Rainbow Fish. I’m special.

S: Sure. You’re the most beautiful fish in the whole entire ocean.

RF: Exactly! But then, get this she asked if I could share one of my scales!

S: Whoa! Cool!

RF: No! Not cool!

S: Oh, sorry…I guess you lost me again.

RF: I can’t share my scales, Starfish! They’re the reason I’m special. If I let the other fish have them, then I wouldn’t be special anymore, and no one would look at me.

S: Right. But I thought you said they don’t look at you now.

RF: I know! That’s the problem.

S: Huh.

RF: I really am beautiful. Why doesn’t anybody like me?

S: That’s a puzzler.

RF: What do you think I should do?

S: I don’t know.

RF: You don’t even have an opinion?

S: It’s not really my area of expertise.

RF: And what is your area of expertise?

S: Cartwheels.

RF: Huh

S: I know! You don’t think a cartwheel would help, do you?

RF: I don’t see how

S: That’s what I thought. So, in that case, you need an octopus.

RF: An octopus?

S: Exactly

RF: An octopus…

S: It’s like that old expression. Remember? Who is the optimal consultee? An octopus, most obviously.

RF: That’s not a real expression.

S: Oh, come on! Everybody says it.

RF: I’ve never heard it before in my life.

S: You need to get out more. When other fish don’t have the foggiest, to an octopus it will be obvious.

RF: You’re making fun of me.

S: No, I’m not! The wise old octopus is the smartest fish in the sea.

RF: I thought that was supposed to be dolphins.

S: What? No, dolphins are mammals! And besides, they’re too silly.

RF: That doesn’t mean they’re not smart

S: True. But you don’t want advice from a dolphin. When dolphins have to make a decision, how do you think they decide?

RF: I don’t know

S: They Flipper coin! Like this—heads or tails?

RF: Tails

S: Ah, that was a fluke.

RF: Can we maybe move on from the dolphin puns?

S: What do you mean?

RF: Come on. A dolphin’s tail is called a fluke. You had to know you were making a joke.

S: Oh, no! I dolphin-ately didn’t do it on porpoise!

RF: I don’t have time for jokes, Starfish!

S: That sounds like the root of your problem right there.

RF: Please, I’m asking for your help

S: You’re right. I’m sorry.

RF: It’s okay. Now, where do I find an octopus?

S: That can be tricky. They’re very secretive and mysterious. And they can change colors to camouflage themselves.

RF: Really?

S: Yeah! You might think you’re just looking at a regular old rock or something, and then—boom! Octopus! Octopus? Well, if it is an octopus, it’s very convincing.

RF: Where should I start looking?

S: There used to be one that lived in a deep cave out past the reef.

RF: A deep cave?

S: Real deep

RF: And it’s…past the reef?

S: Yea. You know, out there where it drops off and the water gets dark and cold. Past the kelp forest and everything.

RF: I’ve..uh..never been out that far

S: Through the kelp forest?

RF: I’ve never even left the reef.

S: Really? Well, you’re probably fine. Fish that leave almost always come back.

RF: Or maybe something bad happens to them?

S: No! You think so? Gee, if that was what I thought, I’d be pretty nervous about going out there by myself. Well, toddles!