1980 Lines

I gave them to you almost an hour ago. What are you practicing your calligraphy?

I don’t think you should take your personal problems out on your office staff.

But the truth is once an asshole, always an asshole.

Do you need to take a break?

No. That’s okay. I’m fine.

Brenda. Really. We can cover it. Take a walk around the block.

I have all these calls to make.

We can do it. Now that Kathleen is here, you should take a little time to, maybe, you know, get your life together.

Oh, okay, Robin. I’ll just take fifteen or twenty minutes to just ‘get my life together.’ Sounds like a plan.

All I’m saying is if you need some time, take it.

Yeah, yeah. You two keep working on those envelopes. It would be great if we could get them out by the end of the day.

Don’t worry about it, Bren. I got this handled. Okay. You take it easy. Enjoy the sunshine! We’re a team here, right?

Sure. Bye, girls. I’ll be back soon.

Bye, Bren!….Switch places, I’ll type, you stuff.

Excuse me, ladies, I’m here to see Brenda.

Brenda had to step out of the office. May I help you with

something?

I had an eleven o’clock meeting with Brenda.

Well, it’s after eleven now.

I’m never late, but I couldn’t...it doesn’t matter...she couldn’t wait fifteen minutes?

Something unexpected came up. I can help you.

What time will Brenda be back?

I don’t think she’ll be back today.

Why is it so quiet in here?

Who are you by the way?

I’m Will. Will Moore.

I’m Robin Ridge. Office co-coordinator. This is Kathleen- she’s just an intern.

Nice to meet you, girls. Are you two and Brenda the entire staff?

Whoa. Whoa. Lots of questions, Will. I’m excited that you’re so interested in the campaign. How about we start you out

with some basic paperwork. Kathleen? Clipboard.

I don’t need any paperwork.

Will. If you want to volunteer I can help. As I just said: I’m office co-coordinator.

Right. Got it. You co-coordinate the office.

Among other things.

Who handles media relations?

At this point in the volunteer process, your questions are just a tad inappropriate.

The phones are still on night mode.

The phones are...(to Kathleen) Why did you not take the phones off of night mode?

Off of...what?

That’s the first thing you are supposed to do every morning.

(phone rings, Will tries to grab it)

Stop! You haven’t been trained. Kathleen, pick it up, hand it to me. Hello. John Anderson for President. How can I...how may

I...oh, okay. Fine. Wrong number unfortunately.

You should have talked to them anyway. Asked them who they were voting for. Tell them about Anderson.

That seems desperate.

Most polls show that if people believe John Anderson can win, he will win, but first people have to know about him. It’s our job to spread the word.

Right. Now why don’t you just pull up a seat and I’ll get you started on the volunteer application-

I’ll come back tomorrow and talk to Brenda.

Or I could train you right now and you could begin this afternoon. Canvassing, mailing, phones - what appeals to you?

Tell Brenda I’ll be back at eight tomorrow morning.

John Anderson needs people like you.

What do you mean?

He needs people like you.

Explain what you mean by ‘people like me’? You mean men? Or do you mean people with glasses? Guys in Topsiders? Virgos?

I just meant we need you. He needs you. You can take it any way you want.

She’s sorry.

Kathleen! (to Will) It’s incredibly frustrating to me that you show up here to volunteer and then you spend all of my valuable time, talking about coming back later. That’s frustrating.

You want to know what’s ‘frustrating’ to me? Twelve-year-old girls running a major campaign office.

Fine. I guess you’re too good to stuff envelopes and make cold calls. So excuse us as we get back to work.

That’s your plan? Stuffing envelopes and making cold calls? That’s the strategy over here?

I don’t feel a deep need to explain my strategy to a complete stranger, who by the way is completely patronizing.

If Anderson is going to have a chance in hell we need to pull out the big guns, not two teenagers playing office. No offense.

I’d say more like offense meant, and taken. Please leave.

The only way a third party candidate will succeed is by collecting up every single one of us left behind. Present company excluded.

Oh, okay. Thanks for excluding women.

I’m not excluding all women, I might be excluding snotty, preppy blonde women who volunteer for a hobby or to meet law students.

Yeah. That’s why I’m here. Right. You are so white...right, Will. You really, really got me. After three minutes of meeting me. And P.S.? Kathleen is poor. So way to go on that-

I’m not poor.

I didn’t mean poor poor-

I got it-

-Let me show you. I’m serious. Let go. You haven’t been trained!

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Brenda!

He wasn’t doing anything wrong.

He’s a volunteer.

No I’m not.

You got me too!

I just...I came and I saw...you a...man...a guy...a...there have been some break ins.

Way to go, Brenda.

I’ve been sent from the Chicago office. I thought they told you I was coming.

Chicago. What? Why was I not informed of any of this?

You all right?

I’m fine.

I’ll follow.

You’re from the Chicago office?

Right. Sure. We’re all just going to move forward.

I hate him.

We just met him.

He’s completely obnoxious. “The girls.” How many times did he say that? “John sent me.” I’m sure. What was that whole thing about?

Do you think maybe you might be, making decisions based on things, other than who he is as a person? Do you know what I mean?

You think I’m saying this, because he’s black? Come on.

Shhh. If he hears us it’s going to sound bad.

I don’t care that he’s black. My ex-boyfriend happens to be black.

He is?

No. But he could be. Do you really think I don’t like him just because he’s black?

Stop calling him that.

Black, black, black, black, black. It’s not a bad word. You think he doesn’t know it? And? Plus? I got maced, too! (Yells toward the door) In case anybody noticed! (Phone rings) Hello. John Anderson for President. Robin Ridge, Office Co-...Office Coordinator speaking. Can you help us change the course of history today?… Excellent point, but let me ask you this...do you really believe that a former entertainer is the best choice to get us out of one of the worst recessions this country has ever seen? John Anderson is a proven leader, a legislator—

Who are you talking to? Tell her about Anderson’s commitment to pay equity for homemakers. His pledge to increase support for child care.

(Into phone) Pardon me for a moment. (Covers the phone) Okay, yes, she’s a woman, but why do you assume that she’s a housewife? Should we also assume that she’s barefoot and pregnant? (Into phone) Sorry, apparently we have a male chauvinist pig eavesdropping on our call. Allow me to share a bit about the Anderson/Lucey platform: in terms of energy conservation his 50/50 plan...okay...yes...got it, but did you know, that Anderson has been a courageous advocate of every major piece of civil rights legislation of the past...okay. What specifically...(Turns away from Will) Yes, uh-huh. He is committed to increase support of child care and to pay equity to...(quietly) homemakers. Yes, please do call after...(even more quietly) the baby goes down for her nap.

A woman calls in the middle of the day? Odds are she’s a homemaker. It’s not rocket science.

Oh, okay. So I guess we’ll just automatically start to pigeon hole people when they call. Sounds helpful.

If it gets us the vote, use it. So listen up, ladies-

-Women!

I’m going to be joining the team as Campaign Coordinator. (The phone rings.)

(Try to pick it up, get interrupted)

What that means is that I will be overseeing all operations at this office.

Excuse me-

-Brenda will remain the office manager, handling the day-to-day office practices, so any supplies or office related questions you will continue to communicate those needs directly to Brenda. For all other matters you’ll report to me.

Brenda?

Did you have a question, Robin?

No. Not really.

Shoot, Kathy.

Her name is Kathleen.

That’s okay, it doesn’t matter.

It’s okay, that he calls you the wrong name?

Crap.

What about us?

I did not see that coming. Why would they send a black to Boston?

Did you at least stand up for me? Tell him that I have this covered? Did you tell him that this office is thriving without him?

I guess we’re not exactly ‘thriving’ or he wouldn’t be here.

I’m calling someone.

Who? And by the way, I’m the one losing her office. I never even had my own office before.

This is bogus.

He’s not a bad guy. I could have been fired on the spot.

Wait. “Fired”. Are you getting paid?

I get a hundred bucks a week to open the office. It’s not like I’m raking it in.

It’s not about the money. Forget it. I’m not okay with this. This is not okay.

Will you girls help me move this couch?

I’m not here to move furniture, thank you very much. I’m taking the afternoon off.