"Open, Stay" - Charlotte Lines

Lines for literally only one production that will ever be produced by Grinnell College.

Enter for Act I.

Hellooooo! Darling, how are you?

TORI: Um, hi Charlotte. This is Tori, personal assistant for the airport operations manager at the Denver Airport.

Oh! Hello Tori. Sorry about that, I was just calling my husband. His personal phone seems to be out of battery or something, so…

TORI:Well, he's in a meeting right now. He should be free at around…7PM

Oh. Okay. I guess I’ll call this number…five hours from now, Jesus.

TORI: Sounds good! You’ll hear a different voice on this line – that’s just my replacement. She should get you sorted quick. Have a good day! (She hangs up.)

Replacement?? For Tori? This is ridiculous.

JUDE (slurring, struggling to return to reality): Uh, um…y-yeah, sure, I uh…yeah, let’s change in that bathroom.

Enter. Oh my gosh, is that Leaves of Grass?

FLIER: Um, what?

(ranting and raving): Your book, it's Leaves of Grass! The Walt Whitman book. You know, he was obsessed with the idea of the body, the self, but also, destinations. That's kinda what they're going for here, with the Denver airport, you know? Airports as destinations rather than a sort of, you know, an in-between place. It’s why they’ve invested more into their fancy restaurants and art galleries and whatever. They’re even starting to roll out guest passes! Look, look, I have one right here! It's really quite fascinating.

FLIER: (Eyes still on their phone inside their book:) Huh.

Oh, and uh, my husband works here, you know. He’s, uh…(thinking) he’s…(defeated) some kind of terminal manager something-or-other. A bigshot or whatever. That’s how I have the early version of the guest pass. He didn’t give it to me or anything, I kind of just told the front desk my last name. He never really gives me anything nowadays. He wasn’t like this when he whisked me away from college however many years ago now. He was a thirty-something with a nice car, and I was gorgeous, so it makes sense why he proposed to me only two months after… Oh, uh, sorry. Uh. So where are you flying to? LA, Minneapolis, Chicago?

FLIER: Um…O'Hare.

Chicago! I knew it. (Beat.) God, I shouldn’t just be sitting here. I need to explore. (cheerfully) I'm at an airport for fun! (suddenly dreadfully) I'm at an airport for fun. I have nothing else to do.

FLIER: (Annoyed:) Hey, can you keep it down? I'm trying to read. My, uh… (checks book cover) Walter Whiteman.

Right…sorry.

(CHARLOTTE sits idly for a bit before spotting the wedding vows in the seat next to her. She opens them, bored at first, then enraptured.)

Hey, I think I found some sort of…love letter, or…or wedding vows…God, this is so long. Who even has this many words to talk about another human being? Isn’t that, like, borderline obsessive? Stuff about Arizona, the Mona Lisa…so much fluff, so cheesy, so…so honest. Hey, is this what love is supposed to feel like? Like, you know, nothing else matters except–

“Arizona Song“ ends.

Goddamn it, I need a drink. Leaves, grabs vows, EXIT.

BARTENDER: A cowboy is always ready.

Enter. “Paranoid #2.“

Enter bar.

Hello! Um…(pointing at him, she's met him before but can't remember his name.) Jim?

BARTENDER: It's Maverick to you, Charlotte! And Brad to myself, so you're double-wrong. What're you in the mood for?

Oh, whoops. Well, could I get a gin and tonic? Light on the tonic, please.

BARTENDER: Your regular coming right up, miss.

Oh, I can't believe you remember! What excellent customer service. Not like my husband's secretary at all. (Beat, she waits for a response, and not getting one:) Tori, isn't it? I mean gosh, maybe she shut down the power so I can't call him. It's ridiculous! I'm so sick of hearing her voice answering the phone. It is a pretty voice, though. Much nicer than my usband's. But he needs to answer me! Maybe he's distracted by that Tori– Tori! …Just the person I was looking for.

TORI: Really? It didn't sound like it

Oh, I say a lot of things I don't mean. The pretty voice, though, that's true. And that I can't get in contact with my husband. Do you know anything about that?

TORI: Um, no. I don't work here anymore.

Oh! Gosh, I didn't know. Well, I'm sorry about that. My husband really doesn't know how to appreciate the good things in front of him.

BARTENDER: Your drink, ma’am! And remember, the quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back into your pocket. Hmm, a real thinker there.

Ooh, thank you! (To TORI:) And you're very welcome. Anyway, I didn't really want to see him. Not if he doesn't want to see me, at least. I mean, what a dud! I just came to wander around this airport, but I figured he would want to see me at least.

TORI: Right. He's probably busy, with the storm and all

Yeah, what a mess. Well, I don't want to talk about him anymore, I'm a little tired of it. How are you, darling? Really, I'm so sorry you got fired.

TORI: Laid off, actually. But no, I think it was a good time for it. I needed a change, you know? I've been cooped up at this airport for four years. I think after four years of anything, it's worth trying something new, don't you?

I suppose so! You know, you really are so pretty. And–are these wooden earrings? They're gorgeous!

TORI: Yeah, I carve them myself. I love to craft little things, accessories and whatnot. Actually…(she pulls out a wooden bracelet:) here, would this fit you? I made it earlier, but it didn't look quite right on me. Maybe it would look better on you.

Ooh! I'd love to try it! (She puts it on.) Oh, it's perfect. Thank you so much!

TORI: You're welcome!

You know, I love art, but I never have the time for it! Or, I never get around to it. It is so hard to find time for things you love as a married woman, you know that? Are you tied down too?

TORI: Oh, no. I've never really been in a relationship, actually.

What!? That can't be, what a waste! Oh, you could charm anyone!

TORI: Wow, you think so?

Um, absolutely. I can feel myself being charmed by the second.

TORI: You're…very flattering.

So, what do you plan to do now?

TORI: Well, I bought a ticket to Arizona. It'll be an adventure.

I love an adventure. Oh, I've always wanted to go to Arizona. I hope you have the best time, and maybe we'll end up seeing each other again somewhere!

TORI: Oh, I hope we do.

Right? It was great to chat with you, I mean really great, but I should really go find somewhere with better connection, my husband must have responded by now and he'll be furious if I leave him hanging. Good thing we're all stuck here though, I'll be sure to find you again later!

TORI: Please do! I’m sure I’ll just be here talking with Brad for a while. Bye!

Toodle-oo! Exit.

JUDE: …About to get married, actually. Or, at least, we were supposed to. (Beat.) God, why did I yell at him like that…

Enter. This ASSHOLE! Seven years, seven damn years…I could’ve been a bestselling poet! A schoolteacher, a jazz musician, whatever the hell! I can’t believe I gave it away to this ignorant ballsack of a husb–(notices JUDE sulking, and realizes she’s disturbing something) Oh, hey, haha, sorry, don’t mind me, I’m just…you know…domestic troubles and whatnot. Marriage. What can I say? You want it all your life, but a few years in, all you wanna do is get back out there.

(At the mention of marriage, JUDE begins sobbing again. CHARLOTTE sits by him and tries to comfort him.)

Hey, hey, what’s, uh…what’s wrong?

(JUDE looks at CHARLOTTE, then goes back to sobbing.)

Uh…financial hardship? Failed an exam? Love troubles?

JUDE: (Still sobbing:) We were supposed to get married, but then…but then the flight got delayed, and then it got cancelled, and then he said something about a sign and dog poop, and– and I got mad and yelled at him and he ran away and now he’s–(he sobs even harder and retreats into a fetal position.)

Oh, gosh, I–um…(realizes:) Wait, a wedding? Is this yours?

JUDE: No, wait…well…it’s not mine, it’s…it’s my fiance’s. His diary, that is. Where did you find this?

On the chairs by Gate thirty-three. And if you’re his fiance, then that means…(gasp) I’ll tell you what. This boy loves you. Like, love loves you. To a concerning extent, actually. It’s weird. But…beautiful, actually. Like in a fairy tale.

Really? No, no, that can’t be right, I’ve been too overbearing, there’s no way he’s…

No. Just shut up and read this page riiiiight…here.

JUDE: He’d write this about…me?

I don’t assume you’ve got any other fiances in your relationship.

JUDE: No, it’s just…

And this is his handwriting?

JUDE: Well, yeah, but–

You know, if my husband wrote that about me, my first thought would be, ‘who the hell did my husband pay to write this?’, then my next thought would be ‘awww, his love for me left him speechless,’ then my next thought would be, ‘wait, no, he’s definitely sending that to his beautiful secretary Tori, who is wonderful and deserves the world and who I can’t seem to get out of my head and I thought she was screwing my husband but I mean she’s definitely way too good for my husband and I don’t really want her to not be his assistant anymore because hearing her voice on the line everyday is really the only thing that keeps me going but anyways, the point is, I don’t know much about love. But I can tell you that whoever wrote this isn’t about to leave you over…signs and…dog poop or whatever.

JUDE: You really think so?

CHARLOTTE: Mhm.

JUDE: (Closing the book and standing up.) I gotta go find him.

Oh my goodness, this is just like that airport scene in Love, Actually…

JUDE: Thank you so much. I’m sorry for being so impolite. What’s your name? Where are you headed?

Charlotte. And nowhere, really. I’m here with a guest pass. Destination airport or whatever. I’ve just been talking to people, and everyone’s so rude! Well, not you, obviously, and not that Tori. Gosh, that Tori, she was the opposite of rude. She’s a really good listener, and she’s such a ray of sunshine in this gloomy airport, especially with those beautiful brown eyes, and–

JUDE: Charlotte.

Yes?

JUDE: I’ll find my Archie. Go find this Tori. Tell her exactly what you told me. You will not regret it.

Gosh, no, I could never, it’s so embarrassing…and I have a husband, I can’t tell her that I like–

JUDE: (Second time.) Charlotte.

Yes?

JUDE: Go.

Okay. Exit.

“Anyway, Anymore” Ends.

Wow, I can’t believe—

TORI: I didn't mean for you to hear all that, I just–

Well, did you mean it?

TORI: I did. But…but if you’re not interested, you can just–

CHARLOTTE: (Reaching out and taking TORI's hands in her own:) Tori, I would love that. Yes, yes please.

TORI: I– I’m so glad, but…what about your husband?

We both know he won’t even notice. I need to do something. I need some randomness. I need you, Tori. I don’t care if I sound crazy right now. Take me to Arizona.

“Open, Stay” Ends.

Enter “Paranoid 3”

“Paranoid 3” Ends.

The power’s back!

TORI: Yeah, and the storm looks a lot better, too

Maybe we can go ask about that ticket now?

Hey, Charlotte, you're coming with us, right?

Oh, I have to, now. But I'll have to see if I can buy a ticket off someone. I hope they let me do that!

JESS: Don't even worry. Here. (She hands CHARLOTTE KEITH's ticket.)

Wha–it's for this flight??

JESS: Yep. Someone else didn't need it anymore.

Well, I can pay for it!