Avoidant personality disorder

defining feature

the conflict of longing for intimacy versus the fear of vulnerability that naturally ensues in a close relationship with another

• Ex. Someone at a party who shows up early and stays late but stays in the corner glued to their phone

  • Waits for others to approach and is uncomfortable when approached

what does the person feel about this way of life?

• This person is not content with this way of life

  • Pain from loneliness

  • Would rather be alone than be vulnerable to “inevitable” social humiliation

  • Try to become invisible from the “harsh but deserved criticism of the world” bc of how hardly they internally criticise themselves

  • conflict over not reaching their potential

person resists…

change that may bring them into public eye

• Occupational promotions etc.

friends of these people must…

 give unconditional positive regard

diagnostic criteria

• A pervasive pattern of social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy, and hypersensitivity to negative evaluation, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by four (or more) of the following

  • 1) Avoids occupational activities that involve significant interpersonal contact, because of fears of criticism, disapproval, or rejection

  • 2) Is unwilling to get involved with people unless certain of being liked

    • Often has an abiding faith in their own defectiveness (resistant to evidence showing otherwise)

  • 3) Shows restraint within intimate relationships because of the fear of being shamed or ridiculed

  • 4) Is preoccupied with being criticized or rejected in social situations

  • 5) Is inhibited in new interpersonal situations because of feelings of inadequacy

  • 6) Views self as socially inept, personally unappealing, or inferior to others

  • 7) Is unusually reluctant to take personal risks or to engage in any new activities because they may prove embarrassing

    • Can be highly creative in the privacy of their apartment or become superheroes in their own fantasy lives

      • In the real world, they believe it best not to attempt anything that might bring attention to themselves

cognitive conceptualization - core beliefs

Long standing dysfunctional beliefs that interfere with social functioning

As children, they may have had a significant person (parent, teacher, sibling, peer) who was highly critical and rejecting of them

schemas

about self

• “I’m inadequate”

• “I’m defective”

• “I’m unlikeable”

• “I’m different”

• “I don’t fit it”

about others

• “People don’t care about me”

• “People will reject me”

underlying assumptions

“If this person treats me so badly, then I must be a bad person”

“If I don’t have friends then I must be different or defective”

“If my parents don’t like me, how could anyone”

fear of rejection

Avoidants make the error of assuming that others will react to them in the same negative fashion as the critical significant others did

As a result, they avoid social situations and relationships

• This is done in order to avoid the pain they expect to feel when someone inevitably (in their judgment) rejects them

• This prediction of rejection causes dysphoria which itself is extremely painful

• The prospect of rejection is even more painful because the avoidant person views others’ negative reactions as justified

  • Rejection is interpreted in a very personal manner

• Rejection is perceived as being caused solely by personal deficiencies

  • “He rejected me because I’m inadequate”

  • “If she thinks I’m unintelligent (unattractive, etc.), it must be true

  • These attributions are

    • Generated by negative self-beliefs

    • Reinforce dysfunctional belief

self-criticism

• “I’m unattractive”

• “I’m boring”

• “I’m stupid”

• “I’m a loser”

• “I’m pathetic”

• “I don’t fit in”

erroneous belief

• “I am no good”

• “I am worthless”

• “I am unlovable”

• “I cannot tolerate unpleasant feelings

strategy

• To avoid situations in which they could be evaluated

• Tend to hang back in social groups, avoid attracting attention

• Avoid taking on new responsibilities at work or seeking advancement

  • Due to a fear of failure and subsequent reprisals from others