Interpersonal Comms FINAL study guide

Johari Window? the 4 areas?

-explains what is known or unknwon abt yourself

-helps explore the role self-disclosure has in communication

1) Open Area→everyone knows your gay

2) blind area→others notice you interrupt a lot, but you DO NOT

3) hidden area→you hide that you’re nervous

4) unknown area→talent/reaction you haven’t discovered yet

Social Penetration Theory

layers of an onion. when you start a relationship, you want to move gradually deeper into onion & try not to skip any stages

when do you not Advise others?(Listening response)

when the other person just wants to vent

when you do not Judge (listening response)?

when it sounds harsh or superior

when do you use questioning & when not to? (listening response)

yes→when you need clarification

no→when it feels like interrogation

When not to do Analyzing on someone (listening response)?

when it feels like your psychoanalyzing them.

defensive listening

Taking things personally or assuming one is being attacked→”why are you blaming me”

ambushing

Listening for details we can refute or attack

insensitive listening

missing emotional meaning→ignoring the sadness behind their words
(Not meeting the needs the other person has in mind for the conversation)

Connection vs. Autonomy

Want closeness but also independence

Openness vs. Privacy

Want honesty but also boundaries

Predictability vs. Novelty

Want routine but also excitement

Initiating Stage (Knapp’s Model)

First impressions

“Hey, nice to meet you.”

Experimenting stage of knapp’s model

Small talk, finding common ground

“What music do you like?”

Intensifying stage of knapp’s model

More emotional closeness

“I feel like I can trust you.”

Integrating Stage of Knapp’s Model

Lives/social circles combine

“We always hang out together.”

Bonding Stage of knapp’s model

Public commitment

“We’re officially together.” / marriage

Differentiating stage of knapp’s model

Differences become noticeable

“We’re not as similar as I thought.”

Circumscribing stage of knapp’s model

Communication decreases

“Let’s not talk about that.”

Stagnating stage of knapp’s model

Relationship feels stuck

“There’s nothing left to say.”

Avoiding stage of knapp’s model

Physical/emotional distance

“I’ve been too busy to talk.”

terminating stage of knapp’s model

Relationship ends

“I think we should break up.”

3 Types of Language

1) relative

2) static

3) equivocal

relative language

Example:
“You are so needy”

What do you mean by “needy”

Static Language

(treats ppl or things as unchanging)

Example:
“She is lazy.”

Better:
“She has been turning in assignments late recently.”

Static language can be unfair because people change.

Equivocal language

Equivocal language has more than one meaning.

Example:
“The chicken is ready to eat”

Steps to writing a Perception Check

1) description of behavior

2) at least 2 interpretations (external)

3) call for clarification

steps in Perception Process

1) selection

2) organization

3) interpretation

External vs. internal attribution

Internal attribution	Caused by personality/character	“He is rude.”
External attribution	Caused by situation	“He is stressed because of work.”

fundamental attribution error

you give someone an internal cause

ex// Someone cuts you off in traffic, and you think, “They’re a terrible person,” instead of “Maybe they’re rushing to an emergency.”

self-serving bias

you give your successes internal attributions & your failures external attributions

Example:
If you pass a test: “I’m smart.”
If you fail: “The teacher made it too hard.”

facework

communication used to maintain someone’s public image or dignity.

Example:
Instead of embarrassing someone publicly, you talk to them privately.

thin-slicing

making quick judgments based on small amounts of information

Example:
You meet someone for 30 seconds and decide they seem confident.

Thin slicing can be useful, but it can also lead to stereotypes or wrong assumptions.

4 horsemen of the apocalypse

1) criticism→attacking personal character

2) contempt→sense of superiority, mocking, sarcasm

3) defensiveness→refusing responsibility

4) stonewalling→silent treatment

which horsemen do women use most? men?

women→criticism

men→stonewalling

3 qualities of effective communicator

1) high self-monitoring

2) empathy

3) cognitive complexity

3 aspects of effective communication

1) appropriate

2) effective

3) ethical

1. Inclusion vs. Seclusion; External or internal?

Wanting to include others, but also wanting private time as a pair/group.
Example: “We like hanging out with friends, but sometimes we want alone time.”

EXTERNAL DIALETIC TENSION

2. Revelation vs. Concealment

Wanting to share information about the relationship with others, but also wanting to keep some things hidden.
Example: “We are dating, but we don’t want everyone to know yet.”

EXTERNAL DIALETICAL TENSION

3. Conventionality vs. Uniqueness

Wanting to follow social expectations, but also wanting the relationship to be unique.
Example: “Our families expect us to act traditional, but we want to do things our own way.”
EXTERNAL DIALETIC TENSION