Sunny in Philly

[Start]

Mac: Talk, bitch! I’m blasting you!

Charlie: Come on! Talk! Come on, leprechaun! Come on, leprechaun, admit it! Where's the gold?! 

Mac: Aw, what's the point, dude? There's no water pressure. I feel like I'm giving him a baby bath. 

Charlie: Yeah, I know. Snake's not working either, man. 

Mac: Well, that's because the snake is dead. Because you put it in a plastic bag and it couldn't breathe. 

Charlie: All right, doesn't matter. He probably killed it with his leprechaun magic, anyway. 

Leprechaun: I'm not a leprechaun, you goddamn assholes! 

Charlie: Yeah, yeah, guy. 

Mac: How are we gonna get his pot of gold if he won't even admit to us that he's a leprechaun?

Charlie: I mean, if this guy would just admit he was a leprechaun, we could be done with this whole mess. 

Mac: Well, yeah. Of course. 

Leprechaun: Okay, fine, you got me. I'm a leprechaun. I admit it. 

Mac: What? 

Leprechaun: God... I am a... I'm a... damn... a... I'm a leprechaun. 

Charlie: Yeah, right, but you don't have the accent-

Mac: That's... 

Charlie: and that's throwing me off, right?

Mac:  It's throwing me off. 

Leprechaun (Irish accent): I live in a faraway land, and I was transported here by a giant magical rainbow. And you’ll never get me Lucky Charms. 

Charlie: (laughing): Oh! 

Mac: That's it! That's it! You were right! Dude! You caught a leprechaun! 

Charlie: I told you, man! I knew it!

Leprechaun: Hey, can you let me go now?

BOTH: No.

Charlie: Well, No, you can't go. You know, we need your pot of gold. Where is it?

Mac: Yeah. 

Leprechaun: It's at the bottom of the rainbow. 

Mac: Hmm. 

Charlie: Must be some sort of leprechaun riddle, 'cause there's no rainbows out today. 

Mac: No, dude... I don't think this guy's talking in metaphors. I think he means exactly what he's saying. 

Charlie: Yeah? 

Mac: Dude, he's talking about that gay bar down on Locust Street-- the Rainbow. You know which one I'm talking about, right? 

Charlie: No. 

Mac: Right. I'm gonna go check it out, alone. 

Charlie: Why?

Mac: Well, because you'll be here. And if, uh, the gang comes back, they'll also be here, and I'll be there, alone. 

Charlie: Right. 

Mac: But you'll be here. 

Charlie: Great. 

Mac: Great. 

Charlie: All right, you go do that.

Mac: Okay.

Charlie: And, uh, remember, you're there to look for a pot of gold. 

Mac: Okay. Alone. 

Charlie: Yeah. You'll be there, alone. 

Mac: Okay! Got it!

Charlie: All right, well, that just leaves you and me, and, uh, we both know there's no pot of gold at that gay bar. So the question is... what to do with the little liar. 

[End]