izard of woz lines (zeke/lion)

DOROTHY: Zeke, Hickory…know what Miss Gulch did to Toto?

I swear they made this new wheel smaller than the other three.

HICKORY: Bigger or smaller, get it on here ‘fore my arms are pulled clean out of their sockets. I’m not made of iron, you know.

Okay, okay.

DOROTHY: Zeke, what am I going to do?

Well for a start, kid, don’t let that old Gulch heifer try and buffalo you. She ain’t nothing to be afraid of. You got to stand up to her, that’s all, with a little courage, a little grit.

DOROTHY: I’m not afraid of her.

That’s what I wanted to hear. Walk with your head up, your chest out and the next time she squawks, you just stroll right up to her and spit in her eye. That’s what I’d do.

DOROTHY: Would you really?

Sure I would. Through this life you gotta walk tall, shoot straight and then you got no reason to be scared of nothing and nobody.

DOROTHY: Oh! Zeke! Are you alright?

What you trying to do? Kill a guy?

DOROTHY: Can’t you see how white he is? You really scared him.

Who was scared?

EM: Get the wagon hitched up and Zeke you go feed those hogs before they worry themselves into anemia!

Yes, ma’am.

HUNK: He’s your friend. We all are.

You can’t fight the law, honey. Some things are bigger than all of us.

DOROTHY: One mean old woman and you were scared of her.

It weren’t my place to interfere.

HENRY: Hurry up and get them horses loose! Find Hickory! Hickory! Doggone it! Hickory!

It’s a twister! A twister! Thar she blows!

jump out

Hah! Put em up! Put em up! Which one of you first? I’ll fight you both together if you want! I’ll fight ya with one paw tied behind my back! I’ll fight ya standing on one foot! I’ll fight ya with my eyes closed! (see Tin Man) Oh, pullin an axe on me, eh? Sneaking up on me, eh? Why!

TINMAN: Here-here. Go ‘way and let us alone.

Oh, scared, huh! Afraid, huh? Hah! How long can you stay fresh in that can? (laugh) Come on, get up and fight, you shivering junk yard! (to Scarecrow) Put your hands up, you lopsided bag of hay!

TINMAN: I- well- well, I hardly know him.

Well, I’ll get you anyway, Peewee.

DOROTHY: Oh, shame on you!

What did you do that for? I didn’t bite him.

DOROTHY: No, but you tried to. It’s bad enough picking on a straw man, but when you go around picking on poor little dogs…

Well, you didn’t have to go and hit me, did you? Is my nose bleeding?

DOROTHY: why…you’re nothing but a great big coward!

You’re right, I am a coward! I haven’t got any courage at all. I even scare myself. Look at the circles under my eyes. I haven’t slept in weeks.

TINMAN: Why don’t you try counting sheep?

That doesn’t do any good. I’m afraid of ‘em.

DOROTHY: I’m sure he could give you some courage.

Well, wouldn’t you feel degraded to be seen in the company of a cowardly lion? I would.

DOROTHY: No, of course not.

Gee, that- that’s awfully nice of you. My life has been simply unbearable. Even my family’s disowned me. When I was a little cub, my father took me to the top of a high mountain and waved his paw around and said, “One day, son, all this will be yours.” Oh I was terrified.

SCARECROW: Why’s that?

I’m afraid of heights.

DOROTHY: Oh well, it’s all right now. The Wizard’ll fix everything.

At least you’ll be safe if I come with you.

TINMAN: How’s that?

No self-respecting wild animal will come anywhere near me.

DOROTHY: I’ve never seen such beautiful poppies.

I think Poppies are my favorite flower.

DOROTHY: The smell is so wonderful. And the singing…

I can her it too. It sounds just like the heavenly semaphores.

SCARECROW: Oh, you can’t rest now. We’ve got to go on.

Come to think of it, forty winks wouldn’t be a bad idea.

DOROTHY: Oh, oh.

Ah-ah. Unusual weather we’re having, isn’t it?

DOROTHY: I don’t have the oil can.

I just realized something.

SCARECROW: What?

I’m sitting on it…Boy, those Poppies are powerful stuff. I didn’t feel a thing.

TINMAN: What are you waiting for?

On to Oz! (DOROTHY: To Oz!) (ALL:) To Oz!

SCARECROW: The walls are so high.

I’m getting giddy just looking at ‘em.

GUARD: Who rang that bell?

Don’t do that!

GUARD: The notice!

(ALL) What notice?

GUARD: Now, state your business

(ALL) We want to see the Wizard.

GUARD: …Why didn’t you say that in the first place? That’s a horse of a different color!

Who’s he calling a horse? If he wasn’t on the other side of that door…

SCARECROW: He’s coming out!

…he’d be on this side.

TINMAN: They’d say I’d fall in love with it…if I had a heart.

It’s the one place I don’t need courage, ‘cause there’s nuthin’ there is scare me. Is there?

TINMAN: Will you take us to him?

Is he scary?

(witch boom)

Who’s her? Who’s her?

TINMAN: She’s writing with it.

What’s it say? What’s it say?

TINMAN: You said you’d take us to him.

And I got a permanent just for the occasion.

DOROTHY: I’ll be home in time for supper!

In another hour, I’ll be King of the Forest! Long live the King!

DOROTHY: Your Majesty, if you were King, you wouldn’t be afraid of anything?

Not nobody, not nohow!

TINMAN: Not even a rhinoceros?

Imposserous!

DOROTHY: How about a hippopotamus?

Why, I’d thrash him from top to bottomous!

DOROTHY: Supposin’ you met an elephant?

I’d wrap him up in cellophant!

SCARECROW: What if it were a brontosaurus?

I’d show him who was King of the Fores’!

ALL: how?

How? Courage. What makes a King out of a slave? Courage. What makes the flag on a mast wave? Courage. What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist or the dusky dusk? What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Courage. What makes the sphinx the seventh wonder? Courage. What makes the dawn come up like thunder? Courage. What makes the Hottentot so hot? Who puts the “ape” in apricot? What have they got that I ain’t got?

ALL: Courage!

You can say that again. (take) Huh?

GUARD: Go home! The Wizard says go away!

Go away?

GUARD: This way. Follow me.

Wait a minute, fellows. I was just thinkin’- I really don’t want to see the Wizard this much. I better wait for you outside.

TINMAN: What’s the matter? The Wizard’s going to give you some courage.

I’d be too scared to ask him for it.

DOROTHY: Oh come on, Lion. We’ll be scared together.

Ohhh!

SCARECROW: What happened?

Somebody pulled my tail!

SCARECROW: Oh, you did it yourself.

I- oh- I’m such a butterpaws.

GUARD: This way, this way, step right up! The great Oz awaits you.

Tell me when it’s over.

music cue, wizard’s chamber

Oh, look at that, look at that, ooohhhh - I want to go home.

OZ: Silence whippersnappers! The beneficent Oz has every intention of granting your requests!

What’s that? What’d he say?

DOROTHY: Are you alright?

Just a little deaf. What’d he say?

DOROTHY: He’s going to help us after all.

He is?

OZ: Bring me her broomstick and I’ll grant your requests. Now go!

But - but what if she kills us first?

OZ: I said GO!

Don’t worry! I’m already gone!

TINMAN: We’re not going after the Witch empty handed.

You can say that again.

GUARD: Oh yes. Plenty of folk have gone there. But no one’s ever come back.

Oh boy!

GUARD: There’s no road at all to the land of the Winkies.

Winkies? What’s Winkies?

TINMAN: And I haven’t the heart to fail.

And I haven’t…said goodbye to the Wizard.

TINMAN: How can you desert Dorothy now?

Well I could stay here. That’s one way of doing it.

SCARECROW: Shame on you. You’re even more of a coward than I thought.

It’s easy for you to speak. You’re made of straw and you’re made of tin. But I am only weak flesh.

DOROTHY: It’s alright, Lion. You can stay here if you’d like.

I’d like. Oh how I’d like. But if you really need me, I’ll tag along, I guess.

TINMAN: Best foot forward.

Decisions, decisions.

DOROTHY: Come on, Lion!

I’m comin’! I’m comin’! The Scarecrow’s not the only one needs a new brain.

start of pre-jitterbug scene

Does anyone know where any of us are?

TINMAN: I hope it says something a little more reassuring.

I’d turn back if I were you. Fine. Ohhh, nooo. Ohhh-no!

TINMAN: That’s ridiculous! Spooks? That’s silly.

But don’t you believe in spooks?

SCARECROW: Oh- are you- are you alright?!

I do believe in spooks. I do believe in spooks. I do - I do - I do believe in spooks. I do believe in spooks! I do - I do - I do - I do - I do - I do!

TINMAN: I’m suffering from metal fatigue.

I wanna sit this one out.

JITTERBUG: Come and get ‘em!

Who? What?

DOROTHY: What’s happening?

Look at the size of them birds!

DOROTHY: They’re not birds, they’re monkeys!

Flying monkeys!

DOROTHY: Oh - oh - oh!

They’re getting away with Dorothy!

DOROTHY: Help me! Help me!

Get away from me, you pesky apes!

TINMAN: Scarecrow - that’s you all over.

Time you pulled yourself together.

SCARECROW: I would, but I can’t reach my legs.

I’ll get ‘em.

SCARECROW: That’s right. And the Lion will lead us.

Yeah. Me?

TINMAN: Yes, you.

I-I-I-I-I - I’m gonna lead us against the forces of evil?

SCARECROW: That’s right.

All right, I’ll do it for Dorothy - Wicked Witch or no Wicked Witch - guards or no guards - I’ll tear ‘em apart. Ruff! Ruff! I may not come out alive, but I’ll go down fightin'. Ruff! There’s only one thing I want you fellows to do.

BOTH: What’s that?

Talk me out of it.

start of Witch’s castle Winkie scene

What’s that? What’s that?

SCARECROW: That’s the castle of the Wicked Witch!

Dorothy’s in that awful place!

TINMAN: But they say it’s got a thousand rooms. How are we ever gonna find out which one Dorothy’s in?

It’s Toto!

TINMAN: But we still got to get into the castle.

Do-do you think it’ll be polite - dropping in like this?

SCARECROW: Look out!

Who’s them? Who’s them?

SCARECROW: I think I’ve got a plan how to get in there.

Fine. He’s got a plan.

SCARECROW: It might not work…

It might not work.

SCARECROW: But it’s got a chance.

It’s got a chance.

Only thing is, it’s very very dangerous. What do you say?

I say…anyone else got a plan?

SCARECROW: First we’ve got to get hold of three Winkie uniforms.

F-f-fellahs…

TINMAN: Where are we going to find three Winkie uniforms?

F-f-fellahs…

TINMAN: Three Winkie uniforms.

F-f-fellahs…we d-d-don’t have to look far…

TINMAN: How come?

They’re right behind us.