Latin epigrams

Thaida tam tenuem potuisti, Flacce, videre?
tu, puto, quod non est, Flacce, videre potes.
tenuis,is,e = thin

Were you able to see Thais so thin, Flaccus? You, I think, were able to see her, Flaccus, because she is not.

quem recitas meus est, o Fidentine, libellus,
sed male cum recitas, incipit esse tuus.

The little book that you recite is mine, oh Fidentinus. But when you recite badly, it begins to be yours.

cur non mitto meos tibi, Pontiliane, libellos?
ne mihi tu mittas, Pontiliane, tuos!

Why do I not send my little books to you, Pontilianus? So you don't send yours to me, Pontilianus!

quid recitaturus circumdas vellera collo?
conveniunt nostris auribus ista magis.

Why, about to recite, do you wrap scarves around your neck? Those are more convenient for our ears.

Thais habet nigros, niveos Laecania dentes.
quae ratio est? emptos haec habet, illa suos.

Thais has black teeth, Laecania has snowy white. What is the reason? This woman has bought ones, that one her own.

exigis ut nostros donem tibi, Tucca, libellos.
non faciam: nam vis vendere, non legere.

You ask that I give you our little books, Tucca. I will not do it: for you wish to sell them, not read them.

miraris veteres, Vacerra, solos
nec laudas nisi mortuos poetas.
ignoscas petimus, Vaccera: tanti
non est, ut placeam tibi, perire.

You admire old poets alone, Vacerra, nor do you praise them unless they are dead. We beg you to forgive us, Vacerra: it is not of so great a thing to die in order that I might please you.

cum sitis similes paresque vita,
uxor pessima, pessimus maritus,
miror non bene convenire vobis.

Since you are similar and equal in life, a very bad husband, a very bad wife, I wonder that you are not well matched.

nubere vis Prisco. non miror, Paula, sapisti,
ducere te non vult Priscus, et ille sapit.

You want to marry Priscus. I do not wonder, Paula, you've had good taste. Priscus does not want to marry you, and he has good taste.

nubere Paula cupit nobis, ego ducere Paulam
nolo: anus est. vellem, si magis esset anus.

Paula desires to marry us; I don't want to marry Paula. She's an old woman. I would want to, if she were more of an old woman.

“Thaida Quintus Amat.” “Quam Thais?” “Thaida luscam.” Num oculus Thais non habet, ille duos.

“Quintus loves Thais” “Which Thais” “One-Eyed Thais” Thais does not have one eye, that man (does not have) two.

Dicis amore tui bellas ardere puellas, qui faciem sub aqua, Sexte, natantis.

You say that beautiful girls are burning with the love of you. Who has the face of a swimmer under water.