Leading Player Lines Act 2

The LEADING PLAYER spins on the trapeze, and welcomes back the audience.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the show!

PIPPIN THE GREAT!

Long live the King!

Long live the King!

King Pippin, Emperor of the Holy Roman Empire is prepared to hear petitions.

No. That's completely unfair, and I shall do something about it. I hereby decree that, from now on, all

peasants will own the land that they cultivate.

King Pippin, the Just.

Well then, I hereby abolish taxes.

King Pippin, the Generous.

Well, that's all right! I don't need an army.

(His normal voice)

That's it. No more taxes, no more army!

King Pippin, the Peaceful.

Denied!

King Pippin, the Unpopular.

I need to pray.

Pray? You're the King. What in the world would you pray for?

Strength?

Is there anything else you’d like?

Yeah... I’d like my knife back.

You want it? You got it! ILLUSION, FANTASY TO STUDY

Well, that the way I thought it would. And I still haven't done anything fulfilling with my life.

But you will, Pippin. Hey! You will. Now, you may not believe this, but everything is going exactly according to plan.

(The song develops into a dance between the LEADING PLAYER and PIPPIN)

Pippin jumped back into life with his usual zest. He tried art, the creative life.

Ooh! And you know something, he wasn't too bad!

But what he discovered was...

When the king makes budget cuts, the arts are the first to go!

He dedicated himself to the church, the religious life. He longed to be touched by an angel. But what he

found out was...

Gah! I'll never find it! Never, never, never, never! Sh**!

Easy... baby...

YOU’RE ON THE RIGHT

TRACK

Enter Catherine.

Enter Catherine!

I couldn't get my eyelash on...

How many years have you been playing this role?

I’m sorry, sorry.

It's okay. We'll just do it again. Get out of here!

Oh! Sorry, sorry!

Enter Catherine! A lovely, young widow……A lovely widow.

Pippin, this is such a large estate. I'm all alone here and I can't do all this work by myself. Couldn't you

please help me?

No! No! No! You’re supposed to read the line “naggingly”!

I know, but he put his hand on my face, they don’t usually do that.

I don’t care where he puts his hand, read it naggingly.

Okay...

Listen, you’re almost too old for this role, so you better watch it. I’ve got my eye on you.

How often do we do this?

Every day!

Love Song

I think we're gonna skip part of this. Nothing much really happens. A little bit of this, a little bit of that: A whole lot of that. But, the season changed as it always does, and the days were filled with those everyday things: seeds to

be sown, fences to be mended, and finally a love song to be sung.

In the year months that you've been with us, a lot of water has flowed under the dam-

Over the dam. Water flows over the dam.

I know, I’m sorry! I seem to be a little bit confused...

Oh, I can see that. Try sticking to the part, huh?

HIS FACE WAS FAR FROM FINE...

What are you doing?

AND WONDER IF HE'S MISSING MINE...

You don’t have a song here.

WHEN HE WAS REALLY... EVEN WORSE...

I really don’t think you should sing anymore.

Hello? Where are you!? Come on! You promised me there would be something! Something completely

fulfilling! Well... isn’t there? I still have to believe. I mean, there has to be something.

There is something. And we’ve got it! The only completely perfect act in our repertoire: The Finale!

That’s the finale?

Oh, no, Pippin! That’s just the big build-up.

You’re the finale.

Now?

Now.

You mean you want me to... jump and burn in fire?

Pippin, you're an extraordinary human being, with extraordinary aspirations and dreams.

You deserve an extraordinary climax:

Like the sun blazing in the sky!

The sun at its zenith!

THINK ABOUT THE SUN...

It is time, Pippin, for you to do something completely extraordinary.

More light, perhaps?

You want more light, you got 'em! Let's give this angel some light!

PIPPIN, THINK ABOUT YOUR LIFE

Ladies and gentlemen! Presenting the Great Pippin in our grand finale! A climax you will remember for

the rest of your lives!

I'LL NEVER BE FREE

What the hell are you doing out here?

Stop this nonsense and get on with the finale, Pippin.

I THINK IT WAS HERE...

All right... you'll see what it's like without us! Take down the tent. I mean it! Take down the tent, now!Let’s go! Strike the rig! Take out the rain curtains! Pull down the canvas! I want of it out of here! Let’s go! Colored lights, out! Pinks and reds, out! Well, that's not too flattering, now is it, Pippin? Hey, costumes, get their costumes And the make-up! Get it off... get it off! And the wig. Well, Pippin. How do things look to you now?

YOU SHOWED ME CRIMSON, GOLD AND LAVENDAR

A SHINING PARADE...

A mole, Pippin. Look at the mole on her face. You're going to spend the rest of your life with a woman

with a mole?

BUT THERE'S NO COLOR I CAN HAVE ON EARTH

THAT WON'T FINALLY FADE...

Oh! And the kid! Do you know how much he is going to cost you!?

WHEN I WANTED WORLDS TO PAINT...

This is the way you want to live? This is what you want?

AND COSTUMES TO WEAR...

No costumes! No make-up!

I THINK IT WAS HERE...

No colored lights!

CAUSE IT NEVER WAS THERE...

And no magic! Ladies and Gentlemen, we apologize for our inability to bring you the finale that we promised. It seems

our extraordinary young man has elected to compromise his aspirations. But... I know there are many of

you out there, extraordinary people, exceptional people, who would gladly trade your ordinary lives for

the opportunity to do one perfect act—our grand finale. And we will always be there for you, anytime you

want us. Why we are right inside your heads, and we promise you sets, costumes, lights, and magic!

Magic!

It’s over...

Show’s over, everybody out. Let’s go... everybody out.

Get out of here!

Take out the rest of the lights. Orchestra, pack up your instruments, let's go.

Take your damn hands off that keyboard!

You try singing without music, sweetheart.