Marriage and Family Midterm

Tyical Friction/Problem Areas

• No meaningful friendships

• Lots of relationship drama

• Unbiblical relationships

• Poor communications

• Bitterness

• Super sensitive to others

Definition of relationship skills

Things you do with others to strengthen your relationship

Relationship skill examples

• Communication skills

• Conflict resolution skills

• Understanding roles

• Worship (understanding convictional differences)

• Time together

• Honoring and serving one another

Relationship Character Traits

• Heart of compassion

• Kindess

• Humility

• Gentleness

• Patience

• Bearing one another (putting up with inconvinience)

• Forgiveness

• Love

How do relationship skills pertain to the character traits?

Many of the relationship skills match with a character trait (for example, poor communication skills might match with patience or kindess, which in turn match with the tension of poor communication)

Each level of the iceburg diagram

The tip = friction/problem areas (What is causing the tension?)

The middle = relationship skills AND character traits (Evaluate skills and traits)

The bottom = heart issues/motivations (Where is the conflict really coming from?)

Teachings of the heart

• The heart is the driver of what we do

• Its the inner man in contrast with the outer, your heart is the seat of your desires and passions

• The heart is the totality of man’s inner or imaterial nature

• The center/source of the whole inner life —> where emotions, wishes, and desires come from

Key passages on the heart

Hebrews 4:12 (your heart has thoughts and intentions)

Romans 11:36 (we were made to be worshippers of the true God)

Exodus 20:1-6 (first and second commandments - we are to worship God alone)

Definition of a heart theme

heart motivations that can lead to potential relationship challenges

Heart theme examples

• Worship of comfort (moves on the path of least resistance, struggles with long-term projects)

• Worship of control (loves to plan, struggles with fear and anxiety)

• Worship of pleasure (loves and follows the cravings of their bodies)

• Worship of power (always has to be the boss)

• Worship of approval (trapped by the way they think others view them, people pleasing)

Purposes of Marriage

• Companionship

• Completer

• Covenant relationship representing Christ’s relationship to His church

• Children

• Collaboration for God’s glory

Resutls of a comprehensive partnership

• unity (comprehensive, yet without restriction)

• partnership (complete in every area of life)

• sacrifice (commitment to sharing all of life together)

What kind of relationship is marriage?

Comprehensive partnership / covenant

Contract vs. Covenant

Contract:

• made by the exchange of promises

• limited by the terms of the exchange of property

• based on profit and self-interest

• temporary

Covenant:

• sworn by a solemn oath

• involve an exchange of life

• call for self-giving, loyalty, and sacrificial love

• permanent, even intergenerational

What does it NOT mean to leave your parents?

• break off all relations

• bear no responsibility

• abandon family

• geographic distancing

1 Timothy 5:8 and the reminer that we are responsible to…

• provide for our relatives, especially our own household

• those who do not have denied the faith and are worse than unbelievers

Commitments a couple must make to purity

• Purity in behavior

• Purity in affections

• Purity in thoughts

How do a couple’s purity commitments relate to each other?

The thoughts and affections of the heart go out and influence the person’s behaviors.

What makes a marriage protected from adultery?

a commitment to remove behavior, thought and desire patterns that lead to impurity .