KNOW A BIT MORE

Repeat the Last Three Words

If you want someone to open up, don't ask a new question—just repeat the last three words they said. It shows you are listening, puts the spotlight right back on them, and makes you seem like the best listener they've ever met with minimal effort

The "Because" Hack

People are 30% more likely to say yes if you add the word "because" to a request, regardless of what follows. The brain hears "because" and automatically accepts it as a valid reason

Go Quiet When Someone Misspeaks

If someone says something foolish, don't correct or argue with them—just go quiet. Silence creates pressure, causing them to backtrack, overexplain, or talk themselves into a corner

Start with a Curious Compliment

Instead of a generic compliment, say something like "That jacket looks like it's got a story". It is part compliment and part question, making them feel interesting and inviting a natural story.

Stories Over Facts

Share memorable scenes with emotion or conflict rather than listing facts or stats. If people can picture the scene in their mind, they will remember and believe it much better.

Own the First Move

Be the first to say hi, crack a joke, or speak up in a meeting. The person who initiates the interaction sets the frame and tone, while everyone else adjusts to them.

Give Them a Role

Frame someone's identity positively by saying something like "You're really the responsible one here". Once locked into that role, they will usually play it and adjust how they show up.

Speak Slower, But Shorter

Avoid rushing your words or rambling. Speaking slowly with clean, concise statements conveys confidence and authority.

Answer a Question with a Compliment

When someone challenges you, praise the question first by saying "That's a good question, here's why". Disarming them with a compliment gives them a win while keeping you in control of the answer.

The Compliment Redirect

When praised, bounce it back smoothly with "Takes one to know one". It keeps you humble, avoids awkwardness, and keeps the conversation smooth.

Touch the Table for Emphasis

Lightly tap or touch a nearby object like a table or chair when making an important point. Subtle physical movement draws visual attention and signals that what you are saying matters.

Start with "You Seem Like A..."

Frame a compliment as an observation by starting with "You seem like the kind of person who...". It feels personal, flatters their ego, and encourages them to live up to the trait.

Never Explain a Joke

If a joke doesn't land, move on without explaining it. Explaining a joke turns funny into cringe, whereas letting silence pass shows quiet confidence.

Let Them Finish Every Sentence

Avoid cutting people off, even if they are dragging out their point. Letting people finish makes them feel heard and demonstrates patience and self-control.

Say "I Noticed" Instead of "I Think"

Replace "I think" with "I noticed" when giving feedback or praise. "I think" sounds like a debatable opinion, whereas "I noticed" sounds like an indisputable fact.

Frame Secrets with "Just Between Us"

Preceding a statement with "Just between us" immediately captures attention. It creates an exclusive bubble of trust and makes the information feel important.

Ask Unusual Follow-ups

Skip generic small talk questions and ask unexpected follow-ups, such as "What's the weirdest part of your job?". Unexpected questions break autopilot, make people open up, and leave a lasting impression.

Use Throwbacks to Shared Experiences

Recycle connection by bringing up a shared past moment or experience. It transforms casual acquaintances into friends with inside jokes.

Use "I Respect That" Even When You Disagree

Lower tension during disagreements by stating, "I don't fully agree, but I respect that". It demonstrates maturity and keeps the conversation open without turning it into a fight.

Pause and Smirk Before Saying Something Bold

Delay for one second with a quiet smirk before dropping a bold, funny, or risky line. The brief setup builds tension and amplifies the impact of your words.

Ask "What Would You Do?"

Shift from asking "What should I do?" to "What would you do if you were me?". It invites strategic thinking and makes the listener feel smarter and respected.

Say "Help Me Understand"

In tense situations, replace accusatory questions with "Help me understand what happened". It invites open dialogue without triggering defensiveness or making them feel cornered.

Predict Their Reaction

Disarm judgment before saying something bold or unusual by starting with "This might sound weird, but...". Pre-empting their reaction makes you appear composed and forward-thinking.

Match Their Energy

Adapt to the other person's mood and vibe first before trying to direct the conversation. Matching energy builds instant familiarity and trust.

Make Requests Sound Like Favors

Frame requests as "Can you help me out?" rather than asking for a direct favor. This makes the other person feel helpful rather than burdened.

Hold Eye Contact One Extra Second

Maintain eye contact for just one second longer than expected before looking away. That subtle pause projects extra confidence without feeling aggressive.

Break Eye Contact While Smiling

Hold eye contact while smiling before looking away. This demonstrates ease, warmth, and self-assurance.

Reveal Flaws Strategically

Self-deprecating humor works best after you have already established respect and value. Showing a minor flaw once grounded makes you relatable rather than insecure.

Maintain Eye Contact During Your Key Point

Lock eye contact when delivering your main point, and only look away after you finish speaking. Holding your gaze adds weight and conviction to your statement.

The Power of "Yet"

Reframe limitations by appending the word "yet" (e.g., "I'm not great at public speaking yet"). It reframes weakness into progress and growth.

Underreact to Insults

When met with shade or insults, react with silence, a simple nod, or a blink. Depriving the speaker of a reaction diffuses the attack and highlights your composure.

The Phone Check Test

If someone glances at their phone mid-conversation, pause and go completely silent until they look back up. It subtly resets the rhythm and regains their full attention.

Notice Micro Wins

Call out small, specific accomplishments in real time. Acknowledging minor successes helps you stand out as observant and encouraging.

Say "I Could Be Wrong, But..."

Soften critiques or corrections by starting with "I could be wrong, but...". It reduces defensiveness and keeps things chill even when you are right.

Say "Let's Rewind a Second"

Regain control of a messy or chaotic conversation without raising your voice by saying "Let's rewind a second". It resets the room calmly and effectively.

Say "I Thought About What You Said"

Bring up a prior statement from a past conversation using "I thought about what you said". It signals deep listening and makes others feel truly valued.

Finish Conversations with a Call Back

End interactions by referencing something funny, weird, or specific mentioned earlier in the chat. Leaving on a full-circle reference leaves a lasting impression.

Say "That Sounds Like You"

Acknowledge someone's achievement by affirming "That sounds like you". Connecting their actions to their positive character traits offers a meaningful compliment that lands deeply.

Ask for Advice Instead of Direct Help

Engage others by asking "What would you do if you were me?" rather than asking for direct help. Seeking input flatters their brain and builds collaboration.

Stay Cool When You're Interrupted

When you are speaking and someone cuts in, most people either shut down or start talking louder. Instead, pause, let them finish, then calmly say, "Anyway, what I was saying was...". No ego, no panic—that is how you stay in charge without raising your voice.

Have Standards and Enforce Them

When someone shows up late and laughs it off saying "Sorry, traffic," smile and say, "No worries, I've only got 20 minutes now". You don't make a scene; you just hold the line. People don't remember what rules you have; they remember which ones you enforce. Calmly prove that your time, energy, and values are non-negotiable.

Ask Bold Questions

When someone at work tells a story that makes no sense and everyone nods along, ask, "Wait, why'd you do that?". Most people fear awkwardness. Asking a direct question exposes nonsense and shows you aren't afraid to speak up when something feels off.

Speak with Certainty

Cut out all the fluff from your speech. Replace phrases like "I think we should probably maybe try it this way" with "Let's try it this way". Confidence beats correctness. Every "I think," "maybe," or "I guess" sounds like asking for permission to have ideas—say it like you believe it.

Stick to Your Opinion When It's Unpopular

When everyone loves something you didn't like, don't pretend to agree or soften your view. Simply say, "Honestly, didn't like it". People respect someone who stays true to their taste even when it isn't the popular opinion.

Use Fewer Words When Asked a Question

When asked a direct question, avoid weak, rambling answers. Give short, clear one- or two-word answers like "Yes" or "No," then leave it there with no extra fluff. Silence shows certainty and confidence.

Let Silence Be the End of a Message

Stop ending written messages with unnecessary softening phrases like "hope that makes sense" or extra emojis. Ending a message cleanly without soft landings makes your words hit harder and shows you stand by what you wrote.

Be the One Who Ends Drama, Not Fuels It

When someone brings you gossip or drama, respond with a simple "Huh, wild," and change the subject. Walking away unbothered flips the dynamic and shows you don't play silly social games.

Use "Interesting" as a Response

When someone says something passive-aggressive, weird, or dumb, simply reply with "Interesting". It acts as a verbal raised eyebrow—handing the pressure right back to them while you remain unreadable.

Never Oversell Yourself

Instead of bragging about long hours or accomplishments, state what you are doing calmly: "Yeah, I've been working on something, it's going well". Understating shows you don't need external validation because you have real results.

Don't Explain What You're About to Do—Do It

Instead of announcing what you plan to create or accomplish, simply go and do it. Overexplaining every action makes you sound like you are checking for permission.

Don't Talk Down to Anyone

Treat cashiers, waiters, and new employees with the exact same respect you give a CEO. People notice how you treat others, and acting high-status means never making anyone else feel low.

Ask for What You Want Clearly

Avoid timid phrasing like "Um, is it maybe okay if I possibly...". Ask directly and calmly: "Can I take Friday off?". Speaking like you expect to be taken seriously makes people think twice before saying no.

Ask "What Do You Mean?" When Insulted

When hit with a backhanded comment, calmly ask, "What do you mean by that?". Forcing the speaker to explain their jab flips the power dynamic and makes them uncomfortable without any yelling or drama.

Accept Praise with a Simple "Thank You"

When given a compliment, don't throw it back or point out minor flaws. Accept it cleanly by saying "Thank you" and owning it.

Ignore Status Games

When others flex car keys, drop names, or brag about being busy, let them. The person who wins status games is the one who refuses to play someone else's game.

Listen Without Needing to Jump In

When someone is talking off-topic, let them finish completely instead of cutting in. Listening to understand rather than just waiting to reply makes your words carry far more weight when you finally speak.

Say "I'll Let You Know"

When asked for weekend plans or favors, don't say yes out of guilt or no to be tough. Say, "I'll let you know". Buying time signals that your time and energy matter.

Stay Calm When Everyone Else Panics

When a situation goes sideways and everyone scrambles, sit still, quiet, and focused. In chaos, people naturally look to the calmest person in the room.

Speak Last in Meetings

Let others fight for airtime, interrupt each other, and throw out ideas first. Drop your input at the end in a calm, clear, and decisive way—people remember the last voice they heard.

Deflect Insults with Humor, Not Defense

When someone takes a jab at you, smile and turn it into a joke (e.g., "I know, you finally noticed"). Showing that insults don't get under your skin earns instant respect.

Look at Your Watch Before You Leave

When getting up to leave an interaction, take one second to look at your watch. It creates a subtle signal that your time is valuable and that you leave on your own terms.

Don't Apologize for Existing

"Sorry to bother you..." Why are you apologizing for speaking? Switch it: "Quick question." Same message, minus the weakness. Every unnecessary "sorry" chips away at how seriously people take you. Respect starts when you stop acting like a problem.

Drop "If That Makes Sense"

You explain something, then you add: "If that makes sense." Guess what? Now it kind of doesn't! You just made it sound more complicated than it was. Remove the training wheels—just say what you mean.

Notice Details No One Else Does

They're wearing different shoes, switched from coffee to tea, got a new phone case—most people don't catch it, but you do: "You usually drink iced, hot today?" Small comment, big effect. It shows you're paying attention when most people don't. When you notice small things, people feel seen and they remember you for it.

Show Up with Something

You walk into a meeting, a group hangout, or someone's place empty-handed—you look like you just showed up without thinking. But walk in with a water bottle, a notebook, or even a spare charger, and suddenly you look prepared. It says, "I came ready." It's not about the item; it's the message: "I think ahead." (But yeah, randomly showing up at someone's place with a spare charger is weird—the item should match the setting at least a bit!)

Respect Other People's Time

Be on time, be efficient, end when you said you would, but don't beg for minutes they're not offering. If they're late, distracted, or cutting it short, so be it—you showed respect, they didn't.

Offer Useful Feedback

Someone asks what you think. Now you have two options: give them a speech about all the things that could be better, or say one helpful thing and then stop talking. Cut the intro—it's boring. Done. No one respects the guy who turns every comment into a TED talk (everyone hates him). People remember the one who said the one thing that actually helped.

Never Overschedule Yourself

Brunch, office, interview, gym, beers with friends, another interview (nailed it this time, shocker!), dinner with family, flight to Houston, quick trip to the moon, sleep... It looks productive, but screams out of control. Respect doesn't go to the busiest person; it goes to the one who's focused and unbothered. If your time is always maxed out, people treat it like it's not valuable. Make space, move slower, and suddenly people chase your time.

Be the One Who Fixes Small Problems Quietly

The chair's wobbly, the slides aren't loading, nobody can find a pen—you fix it calmly, no announcement. Next thing you know, people start looking at you like the one who holds things together.

Master the Calm Face

Someone takes a shot at you in front of everyone: "Ah, look who finally showed up at the office!" Most people laugh it off or snap back. You don't. You just stay still—no reaction, no smile, nothing. And guess what? Now they're the one who looks uncomfortable. Staying calm makes people second-guess messing with you.

Reject Nicely Without Explaining

"Hey, want to come to the karaoke bar tonight?"("Oh no, definitely not with you, Sam!"—that's what you think, but rather say:) "Can't make it." That's it! No fake plans, no long story about your aunt's dog's surgery. The second you stop overexplaining, people stop treating you like you need permission.

Don't One-Up Their Story

"I once got food poisoning in Thailand!"You want to say: "I once got TWO food poisonings in Vietnam and my nose started bleeding!" Don't. Let them shine. The more you try to beat everyone else's stories, the less they want you around.

Correct Subtly, Not Loudly

Your coworker calls it the Benjamin Franklin Bridge in front of a client. You know that's wrong; you wait. Later, you go: "Hey, just so you know, it's actually the George Washington." No shame, no scene. Correcting people in public makes you look like a jerk; correcting quietly, you'll gain respect for not making them look stupid.

Don't Brag—Let Others Do It

You finished the project early, you crushed it. You could say something, but you don't. Someone else brings it up in the meeting: "He actually had it done on Tuesday." Now people lean in! The less you try to impress, the more impressive you look.

Walk Like You're Going Somewhere

This used to be my favorite move at uni: the hallway walk, the cafe walk, the "just passing by" walk. Most people stroll; you move with purpose—not rushing, not dragging, just steady and focused like you've got somewhere to be, even if you don't. People get out of your way (literally), because walking with direction makes you look like someone who's not here to waste time or take orders.

Remember Tiny Things About People

"Did you end up going to that concert?" They pause, surprised you remembered. Most people forget everything that's not about them, but the one who remembers random small stuff feels different. "Wow, he actually listened!" And suddenly you go from just another person to someone they talk about later.

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