COGSCI180: Lecture 15: Self Esteem and Narcissim

What is the relationship between a strong/weak self and psychological well-being?

whether a storng self is conductive to good mental health probably depends on what is meant by a strong self

• a big ego = negative consequences

• BUT, a strong self is associated w/ positive traits, such as confidence and reslieance

Ricard refers to this type of “strong self” as what?

• a strong mind or a free mind

  • a person who does not feel insecure and is therefore open to others

  • a mind that is skillful in dealing with whatever comes one’s way in life

  • a mind that is not swayed by anger, craving, envy, or other mental distrumances

In contemplative traditions, this strong mind is tied to what?

• experiences of nonduality or the “nature of mind”

The Self and Self-Esteem in psychological Research

• on one hand, according to many meta-analytic studies, self esteem is one of the top predictors of happiness

  • in particular, negative self-esteem is one of the biggest predictors of negative affect

• however, some studies have found contradictory/inconclusive results

  • problem probably stems in part from failure to distinguish between true self-esteem coming from self-acceptance and authenticity vs. a type of bogus ego inflation that is contingent on external evaluations (& is similar to narcissism)

Research on narcissism:

• ppl w/ narc tend to think they are better than others

• research indicates they don’t have high self esteem (even if they claim to)

• unlike self-esstem, narcissim shoes a strong positive correlation w/ anxiety, depression, and global distress

Implicit Attitudes Test (IAT)

effects not subtle

• (have to assign each to a category by tapping a finger - done as fast as possible)

Self-Esteem and Social Comparison

• cultivating self-esteem reduces the tendency to engage in social comparison

  • “mental health is getting to a point where you don’t give a rip what anyone says or thinks or does”

Self-Esteem and Social Comparison: the study (unhappy vs. happy people)

• unhappy people are continually comparing themselves with others and can go on and on about that in interviews

• happy people use more internal standards to judge themselves

Social media vs. self esteem

• one of the most detrimental effects of social media, is that using social networking sites, like Facebook, promotes a type of social comparison that lowers self esteem and increases depressive symptoms

What is another factor (not social media) that has been found to promote unhealthy social comparison?

being praised for one’s ability

Praised for one’s ability: study

5th graders = given a nonverbal IQ test consisting of a series of fairly easy puzzles

• ½ were praised for their intelligence

• ½ were praised for their effort

• then offered a choice: learn a new puzzle strategy for the second test OR finding out how they did in comparison to students on the first test

• those praised for their intelligence chose to find out their class rank, rather than use the time to prepare for the second test

The development of self-esteem: does praising kids boos their confidence and self-esteem?

• 85% of American parents think it’s important to tell their kids that they’re smart

• BUT, a growing body of research strong suggests that praising kids may have negative repercussions

The development of self-esteem: ego-boosting to self-absorption

• when ego-boosting parents exclaim “Great job"!” not just the furst time a young child puts on his shoes but every morning, the child learns to feel that everything he does is special

  • what starts off as healthy self-esteem can quickly morph into a self-absorption and sense of entitlement that looks a lot like narcissism

    • as adults don’t like being told by a boss that their work needs improvement

So is praise helpful or harmful?

Giving praise in the absence of good performance may actually harm people

Many parents will do anything to avoid having their kids experience even mild discomfort, anxiety, or disappointment - “anything less than pleasant”: what does this cuase as adults

when these kids experience the normal frustrations of life as adults, they feel lost and helpless

In recent years, clinical psychologists have been writing about a new phenomenon: kids who had “perfect” parents and “perfect” upbringings who wind up in therapy in their 20s or 30s with what?

• depression

• anxiety

• struggling w/ relationships

• feeling lost and empty

Study on experiencing adversity: results

found that a history of some lifetime adversity predicts better mental health outcomes and greater well-being than not only a history of high adversity, but also a history of no adversity

So, should you not praise your kids at all?

No, it’s just best to give them specific rather than general praise

• ie: “really impressive how much effort you put into getting that ball” not just “you played great”

Overall research indicates what about narcissism vs. high self-esteem in children

• narcissism in children is cultivated by parental overvaluation: their kid is more special/entitled than others

• high self-esteem in children is cultivated by parental warmth: parents expressing affection and appreciation towards their child

Neural Basis of Self-Esteem

• in general, areas related to self-referential processing and the DMN seem to be implicated, including

  • medial prefrontal and orbitofrontal, and cingulate cortex

  • precuneus

  • ventromedial prefrontal, insula and connections between the prefrontal and insula

Study where participants engaged in social evaluation task while in an fMRI: results & important note

• people who had greater fluctuations in self-esteem during the task also

  • had lower self-esteem generally

  • self-reported more symptoms of depression and anxiety

  • showed greater insula-vmPFC connectivity

• if we become totally dependent on validation and approval from the outside world, we lose touch with our own internal compass and inner voice

  • unfortunately, social media trains us (through activation of the dopamine reward system) to focus more on what other people think of us and less on what we value

It is ironically only by developing a reasonably high sense of self-esteem that

• one is able to let go of social comparison

• one is able to let go of the self

Low Self-Esteem: Causes and Solutions: list 2 causes

1. adverse early childhood experiences

2. bc of actions they have performed in the past/are still performing, that have caused them to become rather “dubious characters”

Low Self-Esteem: Causes and Solutions: adverse childhood experiences (causes)

• may range from relatively mild to outright emotional and physical abuse

  • ex: experiences of scorn or repeated criticism and contempt by parents or relatives

  • may lead to feelings that one is unworthy of love

  • added to this may be feelings of guilt

    • blaming oneself for what happened in th past, even if thsoe things were beyond control, and for all of one’s upposed imperfections

Low Self-Esteem: Causes and Solutions: adverse childhood experiences (solutions)

• Ricard says these people need to develop self-compassion rather than judging themselves harshly

• may also help to try CBT and somatic therapies & psychedelic therapy

Low Self-Esteem: Causes and Solutions: actions they have performed (causes)

• may include those with substance abuse of addiction issues

Low Self-Esteem: Causes and Solutions: actions they have performed (solutions)

• standard psychotherapeutic treatment includes

  • various CBT techniques

  • mindfulness therapies or psychedelic therapy

    • may help the individual to view the situation more objectively

    • may help them to recognize that the self is not a static thing - primarily defined by what we DO

    • may allow an understanding to arise that the fundamental nature of our mind (ie nature of mind) is immaculate and not modified by its content

Research indicates that: using signature strengths of character in a new way for just one week caused what?

• people were happier & less depressed up to 6 months later

Research indicates that: patients w/ major depression who were encouraged to focus on their strengths experienced what?

• significantly greater relief from the depression than matched controls, even those taking antidepressant meds

Research indicates that: successful businesspeople focus more on what?

• focus more on using strengths than on overcoming weakness - with regard to themselves, as well as their employees

  • the confidence, passion, and sense of fulfillment that one gains from one area of life spills over into other areas, including the areas of “weakness”

How do I change negative beliefs about myself? Do affirmations really work?

• “a belief is just a thought that you keep thinking” - it is all about repetition

• there is no absurdity so palpable but that it may be firmly planted in the human head if you only begin to inculcate it before the age of five, by constantly repeating it with an air of great solemnity

It has been said that boosting self-esteem should be viewed like what?

• like taking a vitamin

  • if you are very deficient, there may serious negative repercussions (like depression)

  • BUT, once you have a healthy basic level, obsessing over it can be counterproductive

    • tends to just feed an unhealthy sort of excessive self-focus

    • at a certain point it is better just to try ot let fo of the self