Questions from Christians or others about beliefs and philosophies and politics etc

So what do you believe?

I'm a confused agnostic I guess. I’m open to there being a spiritual side of consciousness, and also open to everything just being material. I don’t know if life has objective meaning. It would be nice if there was, to justify suffering. I tend to relate most to Schopenhauer’s pessimism philosophy.

When did you lose your faith?

I lost my faith over 8 years ago. I was raised Christian and my faith was my whole life. I also went to Bible college to study worship arts and after graduating, I worked as a worship director for 2 years before losing my faith. I haven't latched on to another religion or practice since, although I cautiously explore various perspectives.

Do you pray?

No, I don’t. For a while after losing my faith, I continued to make desperate attempts at communicating with God, but that's faded.

Is there any purpose to life?

I don’t know if there is objective meaning. I’d like there to be, so there could be justification for all the suffering. I notice synchronicities and things like that which sometimes make me wonder, but I stay cautious knowing that human psychology can sometimes have us make connections that we perceive as meaning, which may or may not be real.

Do humans have a soul?

I'm open to it and I’d like it to be true, aside from the limitless suffering that it could imply. I'm also open to the possibility of everything being material, which doesn’t make me happy but would at least allow for an eventual end to an agonizing life.

Why work with churches if you're not religious?

I haven't been inside a church in years until I started doing work here, but I've been happy to help out. I have a real passion for music, sound, and people.

Does it feel strange doing this work?

It does feel uncomfortable at times but there's also a familiarity to it, so it's mixed feelings. But everyone I've met so far has been really nice.

What got you into philosophy?

After losing my faith, I was desperately searching for the truth, whatever that may be, comforting or not. I explored different philosophies in an open yet cautious way, partly since decades in Christianity left me wary. Now I don’t know if there's one objective truth, but I’m also not an anything-goes spiritual person. I'm skeptical but open-minded.

Has losing your faith made you happier or unhappier?

Both. It’s made me feel freer and less guilty which I’d say is healthier, but it also led to ungrounding and existential terror.

Do you miss having faith?

I don’t miss the rigidity, hierarchy, being told how to think, or the guilt and shame. I might miss some of the comfort from before I started having doubts of feeling like someone's in control when the world feels cruel.

Where do you lean philosophically?

I relate a lot with philosophical pessimism and am kind of a disillusioned idealist. Life is harsh and doesn’t feel hopeful, but I care a lot about people and reducing harm and also still try to not give up and look out for any potential hope. I have a strong vision of how things could be, but feel like pessimism is me being realistic about whether the world and existence could ever get there. There’s a gap between the ideal and expected reality.

Are you happy?

I'm not a happy person, and every day is extremely hard for me.

Are you a nihilist?

It depends on the definition. If nihilism just means there's no built-in meaning and you create your own, I'm open to that, but I'm also open to there being a genuine spiritual dimension beyond pure physicalism. I also still believe in compassion for others and morality.

Where do you stand politically?

I’m a leftist, and most align with anarcho-communism. I know the words anarchism and communism both carry a lot of baggage. A lot of what it means is that I'm against concentrated hierarchy and authority, and I want ordinary working people in control of their own lives, free from exploitation by corrupt governments or corporations. Not chaos, just people being treated fairly.

Doesn't being anti-hierarchy conflict with belief in God, or with things like marriage and church leadership roles?

My anti-hierarchy stance is really about human systems, governments, corporations, people holding power over other people, not a theological claim. If there's something bigger than us out there, that's a different category entirely, not a peer relationship, so I would say that’s different.

Do you hate God?

It's not that I hate the general idea of a god, it's that I can't reconcile an all-powerful, all-knowing being who's also truly loving with one who sends people to eternal hell, or even allows all of our brutal suffering on Earth. If a human had that much power and control and still chose that, we'd call it abusive, not loving. I hold real anger toward that specific version of God, not toward divinity in general. That anger didn't show up right when I lost my faith, it developed a year or more later.

Does anyone deserve hell?

I don’t believe anyone deserves eternal, not even someone like Hitler. It's cruel beyond belief. Plenty of Christians don't even believe in a literal hell either, so I don’t totally reject Christianity, but I’m not a fan of this contested doctrine.

What do you think happens to people like Hitler after death, if not hell?

I have no idea. He could just be annihilated entirely, or there could be some afterlife, even reincarnation. I don't dismiss any of it. I used to think reincarnation was ridiculous as a Christian, but now I don’t see it as any stranger of a claim than heaven and hell. I'm not saying any belief is uniquely far-fetched - every one of these ideas involves something beyond the physical world, so none are objectively weirder than the others.

Are you comfortable being so uncertain?

Uncertainty makes me feel very uncomfortable and scared. I'd rather have the truth than settle on something because it feels good. Given how much I suffer, I’d love for there to be an explanation for it if one exists. I don't think I'm smarter than anyone or that I've got it figured out. I'm not a smug atheist and I'm not a vague, anything-goes spiritual type either. I'm confused and disoriented most of the time, cautiously open to whatever's true if anything.

Has Christianity done more harm than good?

I don’t know - there's been a lot of both and I'm not sure it's even measurable cleanly. It's got both factual weight and a subjective lens depending on what you value.

Is the world getting better or worse?

Both. Some things are improving, like awareness around how we treat different groups, but other things are worse like how technology being weaponized and other elements of late stage capitalism.

What gives you hope?

I don’t have hope but I keep trying anyway, and my own suffering has given me deeper empathy for other people going through hard things.

Are people basically good or bad deep down?

I try not to label people as good or bad. Everyone makes good and bad choices, but that doesn't define who we are. I think a lot of selfishness gets encouraged by our systems and structures more than it comes from something inherently bad in people.

Is Christianity the only true religion, or are they all equally valid?

When I was Christian I believed that other paths weren't compatible. Now I honestly don't know. I'm open to a possibility of universalism, but equally open to all of them being human-made stories. I don't hold more or less respect for any one over another. Religion in general kind of turns me off these days, and I wish life could feel more natural and chill without needing a whole framework to justify it.

Does prayer actually work?

I have no idea. Even as a Christian when I prayed constantly every day, that question got tangled up in the whole free will vs god's will debate - if we could change his mind. I no longer pray or necessarily believe in prayer, but I don't fully dismiss it either.