EEPY NIGHT 2

SCENE 1 - HAUS

ME TOO PUSSY POPPED

Go away! They’re not clapping for you. Aren’t I just magnificent? Oh yes I am…oh yes I am…(riff) oh oh OH oh ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Yes I am!…very good! You should release an album madam…on cassette - so nobody has to hear it! I must admit it’s going rather well. Briar Rose has been dealt with, awwwwwww! My heart bleeds, and kingdom is mine. Mwah hahahahaah. Who’s the boss?…Me!…Carabosse the Maleficent.

MERRIWEATHER: Think again! You villainous old crow!

SPELL AND FALL

Not like you to sucker punch on a sneak attack - good fairy merriweatherl

1 chunk

ELLIE: Arrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhh! She bit me!

I’ll have the whole finger if you put your hands on my again.

MERRI: And now that we’ve found you. We want our kingdom lifted from darkness and Princess Briar Rose returned to us.

You make a good point! It is quite dark. Let me see…Hmmm! How about…NO! The land is dark but you are as guilty as I with your magical brambles and creepers that reach up to the sky.

MERRI: To protect our Princess!

Who I want dead!

MERRI: Not if true love finds her!

Awwww! The old true love’s kiss! How original!

MERRI: Your wicked magic may be powerful but there is no magic strong enough to stop true love.

Not even this?

PRINCEY YAPPA

PRINCE: HOLY YAP It would take a lifetime to chop through!

WAKE UP WITH A BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM

SCENE 3 - FOREST OF SPOOK

PLAY ON

OH! Do be quiet - you boring bunch of buffoons. That meddlesome fairy Merriweather has bitten off more than she can chew - this time. Talking of chewing! Beasts of dark hear my call, come to me - bite, chew and claw and rid me of this tiresome thrall!

BEAST COME AND FREE THE DIVA

Mwah hahahaah! And now to exact my revenge! Hark! But now, another approaches! Go disguise thyselves among the beeches.

Aren’t I just magnificent?

ISLANDS IN THE STREAM

BRIAR DISAPPEARS

Mwah hahahahahahah!

PRINCE: You - Goose woman!

BEASTS APPEAR

Beasts of the wilderness! Entrap this love fool in magical vines and leave him to perish out here amongst the pines.

PRINCE: You’ll never get away with this - you old witch!

Oh! Kingy wingy - That’s where you’re wrong - I already have. I’ll take that.

PRINCE: HELP!!

Ethel??

That’s quite enough of that!!

PRINCE: Hrrrr, Hrrrrr, Hrrrr!

Of course, kingy. I’ll pass on your best wishes to Briar Rose just before I run her through with this from nose to toes.

Mwahahahahaahahaha! And they said ‘True love’ could never be defeated. Ha Ha! Aren’t I just magnificent?

SCENE 5 - PALACE

DUSTYBUTT: Sleeping Princess detected.

CHEER

Thank you, fans!

DUSTY: HIDEOUS, dragon-faced witch detected.

Everyone’s a critic.

NOT HARD ROBOT SQUARES UP

MERRI: Get her Dustbin!

FAIRIES: Yeah - knock her block off

OH! NO! I’m frikened. The robot’s advancing - now turn that trash can into recycling!

FLAME HER ASS

FAIRIES: NO!

Mwah hahahahahahahahaha! Twenty six years I’ve waited! Twenty six years I’ve hated! Twenty six years and today my joy at her demise can be back-dated!

MERRI: You’ll have to get through me first!

My pleasure!

Welcome to the DARKNESS!

MERRI: LIGHT!

NIGHT!

MERRI: BRIGHT!

EVIL!

MERRI: DELIGHT!

All of this would never have been if I’d had my INVITE!

SPELL AND FAIRIES TUMBLE

And now to end this with one ‘true love swish’

PRINCE FANFARE AND MY IDOL COMES

Twenty six years and foiled my that blasted horse again!

OMG SHES AWAKE

PROPOSAL

PRINCE: Would you do the honour of becoming my queen?

NOOOOOOOOOO!!

FREEZE AND KILL THE BITCH

MERRI: ………. Forgo your hate, replace with lobe and live forever in joy and light!

SPELL

OH! Hello! Hello! Hi, hi, hi! Thanks for the invite. Should all have name badges really - unless you all know each other - of course! I’ll make some, I’ll make some.