"Brave New World" Pilot - Matt Side

YOU HAVE 1ST LINE.

MATT

Hi, Damon - I’m Matt Koutnick. I’m new. Just wanted to introduce myself.

DAMON

You work here?

MATT

This doesn’t sell it?

DAMON

I thought you might be doing a goth thing. How you liking it?

MATT

It’s different - certainly not the job I thought I’d get. But I like working outdoors and - (noticing) Are you - your - your - thing - is out. Did you know that?

DAMON

Yeah, I’m taking a leak. Take two steps back. I’ve got good flow, but bad aim.

MATT

You think this is okay? It’s the middle of the day, lots of tourists around -

DAMON

You know, this is what the Pilgrims themselves did. They didn’t have indoor plumbing so they’d walk away from the village and relieve themselves in the woods. What you’re witnessing now is historically correct.

MATT

Well - that makes it - really a lot better. Listen, I was told to come talk to you -

DAMON

Yeah, yeah - I get it. You heard about the weed. I don’t sell it because I consider it my Pilgrim crop to be shared with the other villagers. So when the next harvest comes up, you’ll get some. Don’t worry.

MATT

You’re growing weed here?

DAMON

Behind the maintenance shed across from Masterly’s dung heap. Man, I don’t know what that ox has been eating - but his poop makes some serious reefer.

MATT

I don’t want any reefer.

DAMON
Really?

MATT

Okay, maybe a little. Look, here’s the deal. I’m in trouble with Mr. Kenealy, and he’d like you not to sleep in your Pilgrim house anymore, so if you could stop doing that, it would be a big help to me in terms of keeping my job.

DAMON

Where am I supposed to sleep?

MATT

You don’t have a real home?

DAMON

Well, Tim -

MATT

Not even close to my name.

DAMON

I do have an apartment in town. I mean, I did - until I stopped paying rent after the fire.

MATT

There was a fire?

DAMON

Big one.

MATT
How did it start?

DAMON

The usual way. Smoke first.

MATT

No, I mean what caused it?

DAMON

My lawyer, he says I can’t discuss that. Tim, are you going to be your own man - or are you going to be Dick Kenealy’s dog, sitting there on the rug at his feet?

MATT

Matt.

DAMON

Okay, sitting there on the mat at his feet. Let me tell you something. A couple years back, I was an ER doctor down at St. Luke’s Roosevelt Hospital in New York City. Heard of it?

MATT

The hospital or the city?

DAMON

(a chuckle) Funny, Tim. I had this girlfriend, she was an American history buff and a bit of a freak, and by that I mean she enjoyed having sex in places of historical of historical significance. And I’m talking about very public, very noisy sex.

MATT

Are you serious?

DAMON

Let’s just say I can never go back to Colonial Williamsburg. -

—

Are you happy, Tim? Do you know who you are?

MATT

I’m not Tim.

DAMON

So you don’t know who you are. And here’s what I’m saying, brother. Until you know who you are, don’t ask me to change who I am. Stop by my place after hours. We’ll talk some more and quaff the nut brown ale. Faulty hot plate.

END OF SCENE.