Fred + Mr. Big

13: Him.

Fred: An over-age student. You know, one of those guys that never seems to graduate?

13: I’m curious. You think we’re — secret agents, but not this—this Smart. Why’s that?

Fred: When I asked Smart what’s his line, he shot back—”I’m a spy”! What real secret agent would say a thing like that?

99: Thank you, Max. I’ll remember that

So— we meet at last. What an unexpected and delightful pleasure to have the illustrious Maxwell Smart as my guest— I see what your organization lacks in strategy it more than makes up for in loveliness.

99: May we ask the name of our host?

But of course. I’m Mr. Big

99: If you don’t mind one more question—who gave you the name—Mr. Big?

My psychiatrist. We’ve planned an amusing little divertissement that will shock and horrify you as it will every American. In a matter of hours, we will prove that your government is defenseless against the power of KAOS.

99: What are you going to do?

Destroy the Statue of Liberty.

Smart: Maybe you should try a different psychiatrist

We’ll come up on the Statue in a way no one expects—then active the Inthermo!

Smart: We know all about your plan.

Can you mention even one detail?

Smart: You plan to come up on the Statue in a speedboat—a way everyone expects.

What?

Smart: Listen, my charming friend, at this very moment there are seven Coast Guard cutters getting ready to converge on your speedboat. Would you believe it? Seven!

I find that to be pretty hard to believe.

Smart: Would you believe six?

You’re bluffing Mr. Smart, but i’m not. As your country is about to discover.

Smart: If KAOS takes this step, we retaliate!

How? We’ve got the Inthermo, and we’ve got Professor Dante.

Smart: Suppose we get help from Dante’s assistant? Then we’ll build an Inthermo, too!

Dear—Would you come in, please.

Smart: Listen to me Big!

You were saying?

Smart: How was it you said you wanted the hundred million?

I’ll communicate details right after our little demonstration—not that they’ll matter to you. (to zalinka) Professor Dante is to see the prisoners.

Dante: You’re hurting me

Professor Dante is our guest.He’s going to build us a full-scale inthermo. And we’re going to give him anything he wants

Dante: All I want is some paradise chicken, and to go home

I’m afraid you can’t go home.

Dante: The government will be sending someone to look for me.

They already sent someone to look for you. And here they are. They’re our guests too.

Garth: Time’s getting short

You see—no one is coming to the rescue. So be realistic. Cooperate.

Dante: I should’ve gone to an Italian restaurant

Escort him to his room, then move at once to Phase Sixteen.

Zalinka: I better make sure the Inthermo is ready to move.

We push off in six minutes.

Dante: But my great grand-parent! Their first sight of America!

FIve minutes and fourty five seconds!

Dante: It says—”Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free” — and you want to blow it up with my Inthermo.

Exactly!

Smart: What about us? You’re just going to leave us here?

Under a very special guard. Actually this is one of my favorite parts of the whole operation. Come meet your prisoners. You’re going to love this too, recently from Scandinavia.

99: Princess Ingrid

What’s your name?

Smart: WHat have you done to her

Part Brainwashing. Part Hypnotism. It’s I new technique I developed—so good I’m leaving her to guard you! Isn’t that delicious.

Jane: Oh Come on (52)

Fred: You’re Like obvious

What would we know?

Fred: Even the secret agents don’t know what’s happening!