Fall Midterm CF102

Relationships in the 21st century

Family of orgin

A type of family is one that we are raised in and socialized to understand norms, values, and customs of the culture in which we live?

true

The social and cultural influences on the family are often overlooked in the study of family life

a household

The key distinction in ______ is that it is the family type that consists of all the people who live together in a residence.

legal defination of family

a group of two people or more...related by
birth, marriage, or adoption and residing
together; all such people (including related
subfamily members) are considered as
members of one family

Generalizations

Based on research, true of many, but
not necessarily all

Stereotypes

Not based on research, an assumption
we are making, might be true for some

why get married

religious, legal, and social aspects

wealth, power, love

social union

legal term that speaks to the commitment or marriage contract made by partners

cenogamy

group marriage

• Silent Generation

• Boomers

• Millennials

• Gen Z

• - divorce is not an option

• - divorced more than any other group

• - stay married longer

• - put off or avoid marriage

• - TBD

Ecological Systems Theory

Center:

Microsystem:

Mesosystem:

Exosystem:

Macrosystem:

:individual

:direct contact with child(family of origin, school)

:interactions between micro and exo-systems(ex. extended family and school events)

:extended fam, mass media

:big cultural they grow up in, mass media, history, economics

bi-directional

individual effects environment, environment effects individual

Chaotic	Flexible	Structured	Rigid
Lack of leadership	Shared leadership	Leadership sometimes shared	Authoritarian leadership
Erratic discipline	Democratic discipline	Somewhat democratic discipline	Strict discipline
Dramatic role shifts	Role-sharing change	Roles stable	Roles seldom change
Too much change	Change when necessary	Change when demanded	Too little change
Unbalanced	Balanced	Balanced	Unbalanced

Olsen circumplex model- used to asses boundaries, functioning, and overall health. healty familys in center

Family development Theory

Phases/stages of normative family growth

conflict theory

conflict is normal, examines sources of power

symbolic interaction theory

symbols and the meanings we give them, how people share and form meanings through communication

Social exchange theory

maximize benefits, minimize costs

structural functionalism

roles assigned to us as a society, those roles keep equilibrium

family systems theory

looks at the whole family, not just the individual parts

includes subsystems

Types of boundaries

closed boundaries- no info in or out, abuse occurs

healthy boundaries- balance between open and closed, healthy

closed boundaries- to much in or out, dumping of information

cohesion

seperateness vs together

disengaged vs enmeshed

flexibility

stableness vs change

rigid vs chaotic

research

study thoroughly using the process of scholarly or scientific inquiry

Steps to reasearch

1..

2..

3..

4..

5..

6..

7..

8..

1. choose topic

2. review

3. conceptualize

4. define concepts

5. choose research method

6. population + sample

7. collect, process, adn analyze data

8. report and apply your findings

quantitative

numbers, quantity, statistics, correlations

qualitative

qualities, words, observations and interviews, more subjective,

common research methods

surveys- structural questionnaire

interviews

observations- observing a systemically planned thing

case studies- small group of people (no cause and effect)

experiments- determine relationship upon variables

women’s studies: feminist theories

analyzes roles in marriage

views from a women’s vantage point

advocates for women

Marxist feminist theory

maintains inequality and oppression that women experience is from women’s subordinate class position

radical feminist theory

universal oppression of women is a result of patriarchy, violence is a consequence

liberal feminist theory

inequality and oppression is a result of sexism, focused efforts on issues of equal opportunity

lesbian feminist theory

focuses on predominance of heterosexuality in a patriarchal society, attention must be given to lesbians

Women of color feminist theory

sexism, classism, and racism

mens studies

sexism and oppression also effect men’s life’s,

changing roles, pressures, involvement

human life cycle stages

1..

2..

3..

4..

5..

6..

7..

1. infancy

2. early childhood

3. adolescense

4. early adulthood

5. middle adulthood

6. late middle

7. late adulthood

four horsemen of the apocalypse + antidotes

criticsm -statements using I

contempt - appreciation

defensiveness -take responsibility

stonewalling - self-soothing

Family systems theory

communication rules, feelings shared, who makes decesions

nature- men + women

argues biological sexx determines how we communicate

men - advice, problem solving

women- connection, emotions

nurture

communication, socialization, how we were raised

verbal vs non-verbal communication

verbal- actual words being said

non-verbal communication- body language, tone,

reinforce, contradict, or replace verbal communication

functional communication

talking about daily life

nurturing communication

building connection with family members

Active vs not-so-active listening

active- listening to hear, understand, reflective, refreaming, verbal cues

non-active- pretending to listen, listening to respond, phubbing

Constructive conflict

build intimacy and loyalty

5:1 ratio positive to negative

Destructive conflict

hurtful, scapegoating, gunnysacking, 4 horsemen of the apocalypse.

common points of conflict

money, division of labor, sex, perpetual problems (lifestyle, introvert)

69% of problems cannot be resolved

skills for communication

communication effectiveness- convey messages accurately

perceptual accuracy- deliver messages in a way we intend for them to be heard

predictive accuracy- ability to accurately anticipate how we will effect the other

interpersonal cognitive complexity0 ability to process info we received from environment

relational cultural theory

couples own private way of commuicatng

Gender

sum of our environmental, developmental, and life course experiences

• nurture based

• social label

• fluid

• man, woman, non binary

Sex

Biological traits that distuniguishes males from females

accurate for 98% of babies

• hormones

• genetics

• physiology(functions)

• anatomy(structures)

• nature based'

• assigned at birth

• doesnt change

• make, female, intersex

Male vs female sex

Male- XY chromosome

Female- XX

gender roles

socalized to preform a gender role

clothes, personality traits, toys

Bandura’s Social Learning Theory- bobo doll experiment w learned aggression

clown interaction made child interact in a unique way to express their emotions with clown

we learn by imitating observed behaviors

observing rewards/punishments for behaviors

exposures to others thinking

classical conditioning

type of learning that links stimuli and then anticipate events

operant conditioning

type of learning behavior where behavior is strengthened if followed by reinforcement or diminished if followed by a punishment

gender roles can impact

household labor, power in relationships, careers, assumptions about abilities

biases-snap judgements

intersectionality

life experiences include more than just gender, all the aspects if our identity intersects with each other to give us unique experiences

ex. white women different from gay black women

intimacy

feelings of closeness that result from a transactional process

fulfills psychological needs

1. intinacy

2. belongingness

3. desire to nurture/be nurtures

4. assistance

5. reassurance of worth

components of intimacy

• conflict resolution

• affection

• cohesion

• sexuality

• autonomy

• identity(as couple and individual)

• compatibility(comfort, work and play)(self governing)

• expressiveness

affection builds intimacy

how you show affection may impact how your partner reciprocates showing affection

-kiss

-holding hands

-words of affirmation

Gottoman’s sound relationship house model 7 floors, two pillars

Pillars- trust and commitment

Floors-

1. love maps- partners inner world

2. share fondness and admiration

3. turn towards- answer the bid

4. positive perspective- benefit of doubt

5. manage conflict- accept partners influence, solvable or perpetual problems

6. make life dreams come true- encourage to help reach goals

7. create shared meanings- build and understand inner couple workd

intimate person

capacity of a person to share innermost feelings with another

pseudointimate

intimate on surface but lacks depth

preintimate

capable of intimacy but lacks ability to make the necessary commitment

sterotyped

can have casual relationships but lack ability to make a necessary commitment

isolates

people who are socially withdrawn and have no need for social/interpersonal relations

what is love, what can define love?

unique for each individual, different things are important for everyone

trust, care, honesty, friendship, respect, promote wellbeing of other, loyalty, commitment, acceptance, support, desire each others company, consideration and interest in other

infatuation

crushes, love at first sight, fade over time, enmeshed + ignores others

Fatuous Love

relationship built out of infatuation and unlikely to last

dependent love

seen in babied, dependent on other caring for them to meet their needs

interdependent love

give and take that requires maturity

passionate love

intense longing for other, sexual arousal, confusion

experiences across cultures,

companionate love

develops over time, love that lasts, deep, tender, mature, affectionate, can start out passionate

Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of love

triangle theory based on intimacy, commitment, and passion

Eros

passionate, tantalizing, erotic, sexual

ludus

flirtatious, fun, playful, casual,

storge

affectionate, constant, friendship, shared interests, acceptance

manic

frenzied, chaotic, jealousy, envy, protective

pragma

practical, careful, logical, weighted costs/benefits

Agape

selfless, patient, other-centered, kind, unconditional

Reiss’s Wheel Theory of Love

Love is a developmental process of 4 stages that we go through many times'

1. rapport- connection

2. self-revelation- self disclosure to our partner

3. mutual dependency- intimacy grows, relience in eachother

4. personality need fulfillment- establish patern of mutual exchanges to meet our needs

attachment theory definition

gives insight into how we form emotional bonds with others, built in infancy but can carry throughout our lives

secure, avoidant, anxious/abmivalent

dangers of love

stalking- obsessive following, observing, or contacting of another person or obsessive attempt to engage in any of these activities

cyber-stalking- staking down online

stalking questions

13.5 million

1 in 6 men

1 in 3 women

81% of victims know their stalker

average time someone is stalked- 2 years

70% of women, 80% of men are threatened with physical violence

54% report stalking before being killed

types of stalkers

1. rejected stalkers- want to avenge being rejected

2. intimacy seekers- want to build relationship, believes soulmates’

3. incompetent suitors- struggle w social skills and become fixated on person

4. resentful stalkers- feel as if they were wronged, aim to scare/cause distress

5. predatory stalking- planning sexual attack, spying on victim

French + Raven’s forms of power

power isn’t automatically a bad thing. It is often used in families and society. can become harmful and dangerous if abused

coercive, reward power, legitimate, referent, expert, informational

legitimate power

power given to you based on role

ex. king, manager

referent power

charisma, power from being popular

expert power

having knowledge/skill that someone needs from you

ex. professor

coercive power

forcing someone to do something they do not want to do

ex. parents making children eat vegetables

reward power

using rewards to get what we want, rewards can be withheld for punishment

ex. covering shift = money

informational power

using information that is not widely avaible to those around you

ex. student found good study guide and gives to friends

Genogram rules

3 generations, include relevant informative to the individual

add gender

sexual orientation

use numbers for age, birthdate

specify relationships- divorced, married, reconciled

attributes/quality of relationship

display illnesses

parent child relationships - biological, adopted

dead/alive

households

Evolutionary theory- evolution of physcial attractiveness

sexual selection-

1. intrasexual- members of one sex compete among themselves for a mate(ex. strongest live on)

2. intersexual- member of one sex chooses to mate with a specific person/people(ex. type)

We choose mates for maximizing and enhancing our reproductive efforts to ensure success of species and society

men and women sexual wants

men- reproductive promise, fertility cues, youth, curves

women- protectors/providers, intelligence, physical strength, industry

Social exchange theory- rewards/costs of attraction

1. social behavior is a series of exchanges

2. maximixe rewards, minimize costs

3. reciever feels obligated to recriprocate

4. reward-cost= impersonal exchange

presumes you and all others would make the same decision

filter theory

when looking for mates we use a filter process

1. propinquity- geographical closeness

2. homogamy- similar to self

3. heterogamy- differences

4. activeness

path to commitment

courtship- marriage is goal

dating- fun, may lead to something serious

script theory- we use scripts to help organize the information in our environment

1. cultural

2. intrapsychic

3. interpersonal- combination of those scripts