Funeral Service Counseling Quiz #2

made by dorothy

What is mourning?

It is the outward expression of grief; the process of adjustment and adaption to a loss.

What is the difference between "mourning" and grief?

It is to indicate the process that occurs after a loss, while "grief" refers to the personal experience of the loss.

Who used "stages" of mourning?

Parkes, Bowlby, Sanders, and others.

How many stages of mourning typically get mentioned?

The stages 9-12, though it should be noted that these were taken by people literally despite not every person passing through it the same, or, at all.

What were Parkes' four phases of mourning?

1. Numbness

2. Yearning

3. Disorganized and despair

4. Reorganized behavior

What were Sanders' five phases of mourning?

1. Shock

2. Awareness of loss

3. Conversation withdrawal

4. Healing

5. Renewal

What were J. William Wordens' four tasks of mourning?

1. Accept reality of the death

2. Experience the pain of the death

3. Adjust to the environment in which the deceased is missing

4. To find an enduring connection with the deceased in the midst of embarking on a new life

What does Worden's first task entail?

- The griever begins to grasp that the person has actually died.

- Even when the death was expected, there is still often a sense that it hasn't really happened.

- Many people can get stuck in the first task of mourning because of denial.

- Intellectual vs. emotional acceptance of the death. Intellectual acceptance may come long before emotional acceptance.

- Traditional rituals (funerals/memorials) assist the bereaved in moving toward acceptance of the death as

real.

- Belief and disbelief come and go over time.

What does Worden's second task entail?

- Pain will vary in intensity from person to person and may come and go.

- It is necessary to acknowledge and work through the pain or it can manifest itself through physical symptoms or some form of aberrant behavior.

- Friends, culture, and society may interfere with the successful completion of this task by not allowing the griever to grieve: "Think about the good times", "Be strong".

- Avoidance can come in the forms of drugs, alcohol, travel, relocation, constant work, or quickly entering into a new relationship.

- Avoidance hinder one's ability to heal. The pain will eventually reappear. Avoiding this pain can cause complicated grief (abnormal grief).

What does Worden's third task entail?

- The grieving person may need to learn new skills and perform functions that the person who died had previously taken care of. This happens just at a time when they are burdened with acute grief and the least capable of doing so.

- The bereaved tries to gain a sense of control over his or her life.

- Help them to brainstorm who can help with daily activities for themselves/family (babysitting, picking up kids, cooking, etc).

- Not only is the relationship gone, but also that part of the grieving person's identity: "Who am I if I am no longer John's wife?", "Am I still a parent if my only child has died?", "What do I say when people ask me how many children do I have?"

- Give them permission to answer these questions differently or the same as they did before the death.

What does Worden's fourth task entail?

- The bereaved will find ways to develop continuing bonds with the deceased.

- Assist grievers in finding a new place, internally, for their relationship with the person who died.

- Grievers find ways to create a new "normal".

- The griever re-invests in their current life, while maintaining continuing bonds with the person who died.

- Grievers create or continue traditions and rituals which allow them to honor the memory of the person.

- Some make a pact with themselves never to love again.

- Many go on to form new attachments and relationships.

- This task is extremely prevalent to relationships where the deceased was highly valued and/or looked up to.

What did Vamik D. Volkan believe?

Mourning ends when the mourner no longer has a need to reactivate the representation of the dead with exaggerated intensity in the course of daily living.

What did Shuchter and Zisook believe?

A survivor's readiness to enter new relationships, depending not on "giving up the dead spouse", but on finding a suitable place for the spouse in the psychological life of the bereaved: a place that is important but leaves room for others.

How can you help one with remembering their loved one?

- Help the family start thinking about the "legacy" their loved one will leave

1. Encourage story telling

A. Opportunity to share a part of their life with you and to introduce you to the person they loved through memories

B. Help facilitate the process

-> strengthens rapport and trust

-> comforting and reassuring

2. Memory Boxes

3. Hand Molds, Scrapbooks, Web-pages

What is abnormal grief?

- Active suicidal/homicidal ideation, plan, intention, or means (ex. I'm going to kill myself).

- Hallucinations (ex. I heard them tell me to trash my mother's house/join her in heaven).

What phrases should you avoid?

- I understand how you feel.

- Death was a blessing.

- You're still young/have whole life ahead of you.

- You can have other children/find another.

- Call me when I can help.

- It's time to put it behind you.

- Be strong!