Christian Caregiving #2

How did Jesus help Mary and Martha in John 11:17-27?

• spoke of the bodily resurrection of all believers

• didn’t speak until he was asked to

• pointed to the resurrection

• didn’t try to address “why” this had happened

How did Jesus help Mary and Martha in John 11:28-37?

• Was visibly, deeply moved

• shared in the grief

Which view of Scripture should be rejected when caregiving?

• Quoting Scripture does not eliminate sorrow

• Not a band-aid

• Scripture should be used in a timely way

What should you refrain from when caregiving?

• saying something profound

• potential theodicy

• I don’t know

Biggest Fear when Dealing with Someone Who is Suffering

• won’t know what to say

• desire to fill awkward silence

• you don’t have to fill it

Spiritual Benefits of Caregiving in Ruth

• Others will see Christ in us

• Person we’re caring for can be drawn closer to God because of us

• often end up being ministered to by those we’re caring for

• God works all things for the good of those who love him

Skill of Nurturing Intimacy

• intimacy = love, successfully expressed and received

• Not a feeling

• Calculated commitment

• Not necessarily “liking” the other person, but committed to them for thier good

• achieved by being vulnerable

Encouraging complaint

• move complainant from superficial to the root: Helplessness and loss of control

• Recognize superficial complaint

• react without being defensive

• react without rejecting

Comforting

• does not mean making them feel better

• not lying or giving false encouragement

• God uses our discomfort

• comforting allows honestly about their fears and feelings

Types of Listening

• competitive

• passive

• formulative

• active

Barriers to Listening

• Boredom

• internal issues

• external issues

• you already know

• preoccupation

• language barriers

Key to Speaker/Listener Technique

• paraphrase

Benefits of Speaker-Listener Technique

• forces you to pay attention

• Saying back what you’ve heard aids retention

• speaker will know they’ve been heard

• speaker will probably say more

Introduction

• Put the person at ease

• your presence is both comfort and a threat

• Know the person’s name

• Remember background

• Use initial, brief, superficial talk

Clarification

• Tell them why you’re visiting

• Do you know?

• Sometimes person isn’t aware of extent of issue

• Sometimes the family doesn’t know

• still ask the person

Content

• Attempt to move from superficial to deeper relationship

• Respond to feelings

• Move to ministry content only after the feelings are shared

• Move from feelings to the Holy Perspective

Closure

• Tie up loose ends

• Summarize feeling and content

• Close with prayer

• include items from discussion in prayer, but nothing new