Randy Almost Maine They Fell Lines (v4)

scene starts

All im sayin

No-

All im sayin is that it was bad, Chad!

No, No way it was as bad as mine

Chad! it was bad!>

But-

real bad

But-

Badder than its ever been bad!

I believe you, but-

Baddest-date-ever bad!

yeah well im just sayin

Chad! It was historical bad!!

I hear ya b//ut

But you're not listenin'! It was epical bad!

No, you're not listenin', (Exploding—topping Randy.) 'CAUSE I'M TRYIN' TOTELL YOU THAT I HAD A PRETTY BAD TIME MYSELF!!!

No. Theres no way it was // worse than mine

It was pretty bad, Randy.

really

yeah

okay, go

She-… She said she didn't like the way I smelled.

what?

Sally told me she didn't like the way I smelled. Never has.

Sally Dunleavy told you that she didn't // like the way [you smelled]-…?

(didn’t like the way you smelled)

yeah

when?

When I picked her up. She got in the truck - we were backin' outta her driveway - and all of a sudden, she starts breathin' hard and asked me to stop and she got outta the truck and said she was sorry, but she couldn't go out with me because she didn't like the way I smelled, never had!

what?!?

Said she thought she was gonna be able to overlook it, the way that I smelled, but that that wasn't gonna be possible after all, and she slammed the door on me and left me sittin' right there in her driveway

Cause she didnt like the way you smelled?

(because she didn’t like the way you smelled?)

yeah

well what kinda [bitch]…? i dont mind the way you smell

thanks

jeez

yeah… told you it was bad

more than bad chad thats sad

yeah… so im guessin im the big winner tonight huh? So… i get to pick tomorrow, and i pick bowlin. we'll go bowlin, supper at the snowmobile club, coupla beers at the moose paddy, and just hang out

i didnt sayy youre the big winner

what

i didnt say your the big winner

no but [theres no way you can beat being told you smelled bad]

No. all thats pretty bad chad, and sad but you didnt win

what do you mean

You didn't win.

you can beat being told you smell bad?

yeah

well then [lets hear it]

Mine's face broke.

what

her face broke

her f//ace [broke]?

her face broke, dude, yea how many times i gotta it?! only get one chance with a girl

like yvonne lafrance… told you it was bad…

when did her face break

when we were dancin

dancin?

yup

why were you dancin

because thats what she wanted to do, on our date, so i took her. took her dancin down to the rec center. you pay, then you get a lesson, then you dance all night. they teach together dancin. how to dance together. and we learned that thing where you throw the girl up and over. and wellllll yvonne is pretty small, and im pretty strong. so when i threw her over. i threw her over over. and she landed on her face……….. and it

broke………..we had to call an ambulance

thats a drive

38 miles

yup

and she cried

i hate that

the whole way! then asked me to call her old boyfriend to come get her!

oh no

he did! asked me to please leave… hes as small as she is… what?

thats just pretty bad

yup

and sad

yup

so i guess you win

yup

That right there makes you the big winner of all time!

yup

baddest date guy of all time

yup

congratulations

thank you

So what do you pick tomorrow?

Bowlin', supper at the Snowmobile Club, coupla beers at the Moose Paddy, hang out.

good

what

Someone I know I like, like you, you know?

yeah

-I got real sad,

aw buddy

-or whats the point right

yeah

-that does make sense, and its you

long awkward pause well im gonna head

yea…

i gotta work in the morning

Well, I'm just supervisin' first shift at the mill, so I can pick you up anytime after three -

oh, i dont know chad, me and lendall, we got a long day tomorrow were still catchin up, fixin roofs from all the snow in december, gotta do marvalyn and eric and

Well, four / / or five? Or six or seven?

Prob'ly busy all day, I don't know when we'll be // done.

Well you just // say when

I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, // so

Well ill be ready whenever//you want me to come pick ya up --------

hey-Hey-HEY… ill see ya later

yea

yea

yea yea yea… hey randy!- falls

Whoa! chad what the [heck happened]? you okay?

yea

what the [heck happened]-? here

thanks. um-

What was that? You okay? What just happened there?

um… i just fell

Well, I figured that out.

no [its more than me just falling-… i just [fell in love with you]-……. I think-…

I think i just fell in love with you there randy fall again

Chad!

Yup. That's what that was. Me falling in love with you…

Chad

come on, get up!

no-no-no Randy [im just gonna fall down again]

would you cut that out?!?

Well, I can't help it!! It just kinda came over me!! I've fallen in love with ya,here!! (Long beat)

Chad

yea-…

YEAH! and thats a thing you dont mess with! and you messed with it! and you dont do that! (start to leave and turn around) 'Cause you know somethin'? youre about the only thing that feels really good and makes sense in this world to me too, and then you go and foul it up by doin this and tellin me that, and now it just doesnt make any sense at all! and it doesnt feel good! (start to go again, then turn around) Youve done a real number on a good

thing, here, buddy, cause were friends, and theres a line when youre friends that you cant cross! and you crossed it! (fall)