Clarisse / Sally Jackson / Charon lines the lighting theif musical

PERCY: Hey mom. How was your day? Mine was okay. We went on a field trip, I got expelled, I saw some super X rated art, musume’s are crazy-

The headmaster called.

PERCY: About the art?

About the field trip.

PERCY: Are you mad?

Well, I’m not happy. What happend, Percy?

PERCY: So first the math teacher turned into a demon, and then I had this sword-

You know what, it doesn’t matter. We’ll find another school. Again.

PERCY: I’m not a bad kid on purpose.

Oh, baby I know. How would you like to take a trip? Just the two of us.

PERCY: Is that okay with “Smelly Gabe?”

I’ll deal with your stepfather.

GABE: Sally! Where’s my bean dip? Ya’ tryin’ to starve me here?

Gabe, there you are… dear. How would you like a weekend without me and Percy in your way?

GABE: Naw, she likes doin’ things for me.

I’ll give you a back rub. …A … Foot rub?

GABE: Both feet. And I ain’t payin’ for any of that fancy tution he’s wasted. It can come out of the money you’ve been hidin’ from me. Yeah, I know about that. What’re you saving up for?

…Creative writing night classes.

GABE: Then I’m doin you a favor. That’s a waste a’money anyway if he was my kid-

He’s not

PERCY: Aw, man. Has that guy ever heard of showers? Mom… you don’t have to put up with that.

It’s complicated, Percy.

PERCY: You always say that. Why?

Because the truth might mean saying goodbye to you. For good.

( STRONG starts)

But maybe it’s time.

PERCY: Look at the size of those waves!

Fire’s going. Someone needs a marshmallow. They’re blue. Don’t tell me your too old for blue food.

PERCY: YEAH, HE SOUNDS LIKE A REAL WINNER…

He didn’t have a choice. He wanted to meet you. And he warned that things might be hard if you were… like him.

PERCY: Was he a screw up too? I’m sorry mom, if I was only normal-

Hey…

(After SALLY’S “SO BE STRONG”)

You’ll see. Your destined for great things.

PERCY: So what is this place are you sending me to summer school?

More like summer camp. It’s just over that hill, past that pine tree. I thought I’d be enough to protect, but you deserve the truth.

PERCY: Your acting like I’m never gonna see you again. If it’s just summer camp…

Not any ordinary summer camp. Percy, your father was…

GROVER: I’ve been searching everywhere for you guys.

What is it? What’s wrong?

GROVER: You didn’t tell her about the field trip?

What happend on the field trip?

PERCY: And you couldn’t have mentioned that sooner?

Grover, is a fury after Percy right now?

GROVER: A fury? Oh no no no-

Oh, thank God.

GROVER: It’s a minotaur.

Oh no.

PERCY: Well I’m sorry if this is a lot to take in right now!

Boys! Grover, you need to get Percy to the border.

PERCY: What about you?

Your the one it’s after, Percy. I love you so much. RUN!

PERCY: Awesome.

Over here. You want my son, you have to answer to me.

PERCY: Mom, no! …Mom?

Go!

ANNABETH: You think I’m tough? …How do you think he is at capture the flag?

CAPTURE THE FLAG!!!

PERCY: Who’s the captain of the other team?

I am.

LUKE: Meet Clarisse, the daughter of Ares - God of war.

You got a problem with that?! Prepare to be pulverised, newbie!

PERCY: Okay just stay here. Stay in the bathroom and stay out of-

Trouble? HA!

(After PUT YOU IN YOUR PLACE)

What’s that noise?

ALL: OHAHHHHH!

Your worm meet, Jackson! Worm meet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PERCY: It’s a record company? Actually, I’m not surprised.

Don’t get eaten by monsters!

PERCY: Yeah, who knew the lobby of the Underworld would be so…

Dead? Going down?

ANNABETH: That’s Charon the ferryman of the Underworld. We need to get to Hades.

You don’t look dead. Read the sign. No soliciting, no littering, no living.

ANNABETH: All three of us.

Big bathtub. Passage across the River Styx isn’t free. With adults, I usually charge their credit card or add their ferry price to their last cable bill. But children… they never die prepared. (ANNABETH hands her some drachmas.) Gold drachmas. Y’all are half-bloods.

ANNABETH: Is that a problem.

Not at all. You know, the ferryman thing is just a day job my real passion is… music! Do you wanna hear my demo?

PERCY, GROVER, ANNABETH: Um no… sorry. / But you are probably good! / We’re just in a hurry!

I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you over this sweet-ass riff!

PERCY, ANNABETH, GROVER: It’s great! / Keep at it! / Was that James Brown?

I tried playing it for some producers, but they told me the music industry is dead. Then, I told them “So are you ” ”Then I dropped them in the fields of punishment. It’s right over there. Maybe death metal isn’t your genre? We have all the great’s down here. Mozart, Janis Joplin, Kurt Cobain. Who do you feel like listening to?

GROVER: Do you have any Josh Groban?

We will… Eventually.

PERCY: IT’S HADES WHO RUN’S THIS SHOW

Oh, look the Vienna Boys’ Choir. They crashed their bus on their way to sing for the Vatican.

PERCY: They’re kids.

They’re lucky. Their voices will never change now.

DJ: YEAH! YOUR DEAD!

Who’s got two turn-tables and three sick heads? Make some noise for DJ Cerberus!

ALL: D.O.A.

Enjoy eternity.

POSIEDON: A hero’s life is never easy.

Percy?

PERCY: Mom! Your alive!

You saved me, baby.

POSEIDON: Uh, hi.

Hi.

POSIEDON: You look even more beautiful than the night we first met.

You haven’t changed at all.

PERCY: That’s my dad?

That’s your dad.

PERCY: He told me about Gabe. Mom, you don’t have to stay with him for me.

You sound like your father. He wanted to solve all my problems too. He even offered to build a palace under the sea. But you saved my life

PERCY: I know you can be strong, mom. But if Gabe does give you any more trouble… (He hands her a box.)

“Care of Aunty Em’s Garden Emporium?”

CHIRON: I hoofed it here as soon as I could, all hail, Perseus Jackson, hero of Olympus!

Percy’s alive?

ANNABETH: Hey Clarisse, we met your dad. He’s not as tough as you.

You met my dad? Did he mention me.

ANNABETH: He’ll be back.

Then he’ll be sorry.