HDFS 2700 Exam 3

verbal communication

Context of the message(the words themselves)

nonverbal communication

communication using body movements, gestures, tone of voice and facial expressions rather than speech

convey interpersonal attitudes

How are 2 people getting along

Women communication styles

1. Sets the emotion tone of argument

2. Utilize rapport talk

3. Sends more positive and negative messages

4. Are typically more sensitive and responsive during communication

5. Women expect agreement and support as an outcome to a conversation

Utilize more "listener noise"

Men communication styles

1. Utilize more reason and try to end arguments

2. Utilize report talk

3. Husbands send more neutral messages

4. Men represents the other side of the argument as a facilitation/outcome to conversation

5. Use less "listener noise"

Gottman's Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling

These communication styles are harmfull

Criticism

attacking partner's personality or character

Women tend to do this more

Contempt

Attitude of disgust/disrespectful

Tearing down, insulting

One step from criticism

Defensivness

Deflect or avoid criticism rather than deal with it

denying responsibility for one's behaviors

Stonewalling/avoiding

refusing to respond, evade, dodge

Men more likely to use this

Miscommunication styles

Blamers

Placates

Computers

Distractors

Blamers

people who avoid responsibility and have the ability to not listen and avoid responsibility

Placaters

passive people who are always agreeable but act helpless

Do not know what to feel him/herself

Computers

Correct

Reasonable

No feelings, just facts

Distractors

Change subject/avoid or seldom say anything relevant

Inside feel lonely or out of place

Power

the ability of one person to get another person or group to act in accordance with the first person's intentions whether they want to or not

Unequal power in relationships

- Affects self- esteem of less powerful

- Inhibits positive feelings about the relationship

- encourages manipulation

French and Ravens 6 types of power

1. coercive

2. reward

3. expert

4.legitimate

5. referent

6. informational

coersive power

Power based on fear. power that comes from the ability to punish

Emotional - belittle or name calling

Physical - violence

Threaten- deny finance

- Least common

reward power

power that comes from the ability to provide rewards or favors

Ex. benefits at work

expert power

power resulting from one's specialized information or expertise

Ex. Car, stocks

ligitimate power

Acceptance of roles giving partner right to ask and you have duty to comply

Ex. Premarital counseling

informational power

Based on partners persuasive explanation

Ie. persuade what partner wants in your best interest

Ex. Move to another city for work promotion

Conflict

Behavior of one person interferes with the behavior of another

Conflict taboo

considers all conflict and anger wrong

Conflict is natural and desirable

Inevitable, can clarify differences, improve relationships and can keep small issues from getting bigger

Ways we engage in negative conflict

Repressed anger

Passive aggressive

Scapegoating

Gaslighting

repressed anger

unconscious suppression of feelings of anger that are expressed in other ways

Self destruction, other directed displacement

Gunny-sacking- builds up then spills over

Passive aggressive

Express anger indirectly rather than directly

Silent treatment

Scapegoating

Blaming one family member for everything wrong

Gaslighting

Denying partners reality

handling conflict

Assertiveness - satisfy own concerns

Cooperative - satisfy others

Conflict Management Styles

avoidance

accommodation

competition

compromise

collaboration

Competing(Win/Lose)

Assertive and uncommunicative

High concern for self/low of others

Can lead to increase in conflict

Avoiding(ignore)

Unassertive and uncooperative

Ignore conflict/hope it goes away

Likely grow apart

Accommodative( give all)

Unassertive but cooperation

Try to understand others and comply

Often when afraid of loosing relationship

Compromising

Somewhat assertive and cooperative

Both get some needs met but not all/not optimal

Collaborating (Win-Win)

assertive and cooperative

Concerns with both own and partners needs

Find optimal solution

Resolving conflict