The Bullies Christmas Carol

My first lead!!!!

BOB: Miss teacher! Ebbie and Neezer just pushed their way onto the stage!

We were late. We had to get to our places quickly.

MISS TEACHER: You got lost? Both of you?

It’s a twin thing

MISS TEACHER: We’ve been rehearsing in this theater for the last three weeks

We forgot

PRINCIPAL DICKENS: No, I’m here to return these two. I found them in your classroom, but on our way here, they got away from me

Because you’re old

And you’re slow

And you’re old

PRINCIPAL DICKENS: That’s not what I mean

He just wants us to hide better next time

STUDENTS: WE WISH YOU A-

STUPID

STUDENTS: HOLIDAY! NOT ANY-

STUPID

STUDENTS: HOLIDAY: WE WISH YOU A

STUPID

STUDENTS: HOLIDAY AND HAVE A-

DUMB

NEEZER: You’re singing the wrong words

AND YOU ARENT SINGING LOUD ENOUGH

Charity": Like, “dumb,” or “stupid,” or “Christmas”

Like dumb or stupid or christmas

MISS TEACHER: No, do not picture the audience in their underwear

Oh…so no underwear either?

MISS TEACHER: What are you doing!?

I’m climbing on his shoulders, so we can go from the top

NEEZER: I thought you told us not to stop

Did you lie to us?

MISS TEACHER: Yes, Ebbie and Neezer, I lied when I said we’d be happy to include you in our All-Incusive, Non-Specific Holiday Celebration! You are no longer included! Go to the office, now!

Wow, Miss Teacher, it seems your holiday smile has disappeared

PRINCIPAL DICKENS: Okay, you two, lets go.

Merry Christmas!

Scene Two

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PRINCIPAL DICKNENS: I don’t know why you two are acting up so much around the holidays. If you’re bad you won’t get any toys

Thats not true. Our mom is always saying how terrible our dad is, and he has lots of toys.

Is that so? Well, why don’t I just call your mother so we can discuss this.

You can call her. But you won’t reach her

NEEZER: She’s in Barbados with her boyfriend

Gerald.

NEEZER: He won’t talk to you. He’ll just put you on hold

He’s too busy making lots of money-

PRINCIPAL DICKENS: Well, we’ll see about that. Maybe child services will take my call. (We sit on the bench, Ebby comes in)

What are you doing at the principals office, slob

NEEZER: What a surprise, the teachers pet has the teachers pet.

What are you doing with that stupid turtle anyway?

BOB: I’ve been charged with his care for the next two weeks

Let me see him

BOB: No way. He still has a crack in his shell from the last time you two played with him.

Not my fault he has a week shell

BOB: But it is your fault that he got dropped while you two were using him as a football! The least you could do is help to fix him.

Well, our mom’s boyfriend is an animal doctor

BOB: Oh cool! So he could fix Tim’s shell!?!

Nope. Gerald doesn’t work for free

BOB: Okay, fine. Just give me the food for Tiny Tim.

Don’t worry, we’ll feed him. (grab tim) Now you have nothing to worry about

NEEZER: Yeah, we should be good, so Santa will fly to our house on his reindeer and give of lots of toys.

Who needs a flying reindeer when you’ve got a flying turtle? (throw tim)

NEEZER: Good! ‘Cause nice guys finish last!

EBBIE: And we finish first, cause we’re always on top!

HOPE: Oh, I mean, non-holiday-specific gift giver.

Speaking of gifts…whats in the box