Lecture 12: Relationships Helping

Interaction Dynamics Approach

An approach that examines how couples interact during conflict to predict relationship outcomes; a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interactions is associated with healthier relationships.

Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

Four destructive relationship behaviors associated with relationship problems: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.

Criticism

Finding fault with and being highly critical of a partner.

Contempt

Treating a partner with feelings of superiority, disrespect, or rejection.

Defensiveness

Refusing to consider that your own behavior may be contributing to a conflict.

Stonewalling

Withdrawing emotionally and refusing or resisting dealing with relationship problems.

Exit

A response to relationship distress that is active and destructive, involving harming or ending the relationship.

Voice

A response to relationship distress that is active and constructive, involving attempts to improve the relationship.

Neglect

A response to relationship distress that is passive and destructive, allowing the relationship to deteriorate.

Loyalty

A response to relationship distress that is passive and constructive, involving waiting and hoping for improvement.

Effective Relationship Communication

Healthy communication that involves listening, paraphrasing and validating, focusing on positives, using "I" language, asking rather than mind-reading, giving specific examples, and avoiding destructive behaviors.

Relationship Satisfaction

Relationship satisfaction is supported by open and positive communication, a balance of routine and new experiences, positive interpretations of a partner's behavior, appreciation, sexual satisfaction, healthy conflict management, commitment, and responsiveness.

Pure Altruism

Intentionally benefiting another person without expecting any external or internal reward.

Prosocial Behavior

Any action intended to benefit another person, regardless of the person's motive for helping.

Altruism vs. Egoism Debate

The debate over whether people can help for completely selfless reasons or whether helping always provides some benefit to the helper.

Empathy-Altruism Hypothesis

The idea that empathizing with another person's situation can create a genuinely altruistic motivation to help them rather than simply helping to relieve your own discomfort.

Social Exchange

The idea that helping can involve "social economics," in which people try to maximize rewards and minimize costs.

Social-Responsibility Norm

A societal expectation that people should help those who depend on them or need assistance, creating a sense of duty or obligation.

Reciprocal Altruism

Helping someone because doing so increases the likelihood that they will help you in return.

Kin Protection

The tendency to help close relatives, which can promote the survival of shared genes.

Empathy

Identifying with, feeling, and understanding what another person is experiencing.

Personal Distress

Uncomfortable emotional arousal caused by witnessing another person's suffering, which may motivate helping to reduce one's own discomfort.

Arousal Cost-Reward Model

The idea that witnessing someone's suffering creates personal distress and people may help to relieve that distress, especially when helping is less costly than remaining distressed.

Bystander Effect

The tendency for the presence of other people to make an individual less likely to intervene in an emergency.

Diffusion of Responsibility

The belief that other people present will or should take responsibility for helping, reducing one's own sense of responsibility.

Pluralistic Ignorance

Looking at other people's reactions and concluding that a situation is not an emergency because they do not appear concerned, even though they may be thinking the same thing.

Five Steps to Helping

To intervene, a person must notice the event, interpret it as a possible emergency, take responsibility, decide what to do and how to do it, and then help.

Ambiguity and Helping

When a situation is unclear or difficult to interpret as an emergency, people are less likely to help.

Time Urgency and Helping

People are less likely to help when they are in a hurry; in the seminary student study, 60% helped when on time compared with 10% when in a rush.

Victim Characteristics and Helping

People are more likely to help victims who are physically attractive, perceived as similar, seen as not responsible for their situation, or female.

Perceived Similarity and Helping

People are more likely to help those they perceive as similar to themselves, including members of their own group.

Personal Norms

Internalized beliefs and values about how a person should behave that can influence whether they help others.

Mood and Helping

Good moods generally increase helping, and helping others can also improve or maintain a person's mood.

Random Acts of Kindness

Intentional acts of kindness toward others; performing repeated acts of kindness has been associated with greater happiness.

Increasing Helping

Helping can be increased by reducing ambiguity, increasing personal responsibility, modeling altruism, teaching moral inclusion, and learning about altruism.

Receiving Help

People may resist help because they do not want to feel indebted, because receiving help threatens their self-esteem, or because they question the helper's motives.

Norm of Reciprocity

The expectation that people should return help or favors they receive, which can make receiving help feel like creating a debt.