Merry Wives of Windsor - Hostess Lines

FALSTAFF: Mine Hostess of the Garter!

What says my bully-rook? Speak scholarly and wisely.

FALSTAFF: Truly, mine hostess, I must turn away some of my followers.

Discard, bully Hercules; cashier: let them wag; trot, trot.

FALSTAFF: I lodge at ten pounds a week.

Thou’rt an emperor, Caesar, Keisar, and Pheezar. I will entertain Bardolph; he shall draw, he shall tap: said I well, bully Hector?

FALSTAFF: Do so, good mine host.

I have spoke; let him follow.

PAGE: Look where my ranting hostess of the Garter comes … How now, mine hostess!

How now, bully rook! Thou’rt a gentleman.

SHALLOW: Good even and twenty, good Master Page! Master Page, will you go with us? We have sport in hand.

Tell him, Cavaleiro Justice; tell him, bully rook.

FORD: Good mine hostess o’ th’ Garter, a word with you.

What say’st thou, my bully rook?

SHALLOW: Will you go with us to behold it? … Hark, I will tell you what our sport shall be.

Hast thou no suit against my knight, my guest-cavaleiro.

FORD: None, I protest; but I’ll give you a pottle of burnt sack to give me recourse to him, and tell him my name is Brook- only for a jest.

My hand, bully; thou shalt have egress and regress - said I well? - and they name shall be Brook. It is a merry knight.

PAGE: (Has lines)

SHALLOW: Tut, sir, I could have told you more. … I have seen the time with my long sword I would have more you four tall fellows skip like rats.

Here, boys, here, here! Shall we wag?

RUGBY: Forbear; here’s company.

Bless thee, bully doctor!

SHALLOW: (lines)

PAGE: (lines)

SLENDER: (lines)

CAIUS: Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come for?

To see thee fight, to see the foin, to see the traverse; to see thee here, to see thee there; to see thee pass thy punto, thy stock, thy reverse, thy distance, thy montant, Ha!

(All kinds of lines)

SHALLOW: It will be found so, Master Page … You must go with me, Master Doctor.

But first: Master Guest, and Master Page, and eke Cavaleiro Slender, go you through the town to Frogmore.

PAGE: Sir Hugh is there, is he?

He is there. See what humor he is in; and I will bring the doctor about by the fields. Will it do well?

(lines, lines, lines)

CAIUS: By gar, me vill kill de priest.

Let him die. Sheathe thy impatience; throw cold water on thy choler; go about the fields with me through Frogmore; I will bring thee where Mistress Anne Page is, at a farm-house, a-feasting; and thou shalt woo her. Said I well?

CAIUS: By gar, me dank you vor dat … de earl, de knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my patients.

For which I will be thy adversary toward Anne Page. Said I well?

CAIUS: By gar, ‘tis good; vell said.

Let us wag, then.

SHALLOW: So do you, good Master Doctor.

Disarm them, and let them question; let them keep their limbs whole and hack our English.

(Lines and more lines)

EVANS: As I am a Christians soul, now, look you, this is the place appointed. I’ll be judgement by mine hostess of the Garter.

Peace, I say, Gallia and Gaul, French and Welsh, soul-curer and body-curer.

CAIUS: Ay, dat is very good! Excellent!

Peace, I say. Hear mine hostess of the Garter. Am I politic? Am I subtle? Am I a Machiavel? Shall I lose my doctor? No; he gives me the potions and the motions. Shall I lose my parson, my priest, my Sir Hugh? No; he gives me the proverbs and the noverbs. Give me thy hand, terrestrial; so. Give me thy hand, celestial; so. Boys of art, I have deciev’d you both; I have directed you to wrong places; your hearts are mighty, your skins are whole, and let burnt sack be the issue. Come, lay their swords to pawn. Follow me, lads of peace; follow, follow, follow.

(But he can’t leave now, because here comes Page, Shallow, Slender, and The Hostess)

(lines upon lines)

CAIUS: Ay be-gar; and de maid is love-a me; my nursh-a Quickly tell me so mush.

What say you to young Master Fenton? He capers, he dances, he has eyes of youth, he writes verses, he speaks holiday, he smells April and May; he will carry ‘t, he will carry ‘t.

(A billion lines)

CAIUS: Go home, John Rugby; I come anon.

(John Rugby leaves)

Farewell, my hearts; I will to my honest Falstaff, and drink canary with him.

(The Hostess comes behind the bar as Fenton enters the Inn)

Master Fenton, talk not to me; my mind is heavy; I will give over all.

FENTON: Yet hear me speak. Assist me in my purpose,

And, as I am a gentleman, I’ll give thee

A hundred pound in gold more than your loss.

I will hear you, Master Fenton; and I will, at the least, keep your counsel.

FENTON: From time to time I have acquainted you … (a million lines) … Made promise to the doctor.

Which means she to deceive, father or mother?

FENTON: Both, my good host, to go along with me … To give our heart united ceremony.

Well, husband your device; I’ll to the vicar.

Bring you the maid, you shall not lack a priest.