beatrice lines

Messenger: He hath borne himself beyond the promise of his, doing, in the figure of a lamb, the feats of a lion

Is Signior Mountanto returned from the wars or no?

Messenger. O, he’s returned, and as pleasant as ever he was.

I pray you, how many hath he killed and eaten in these wars? But how many hath he killed? For indeed, I promised to eat all of his killings.

Messenger. He hath done good service. And a good solider too, lady

And a good solider to a lady. But what is he to a lord?

Messenger. A lord to a lord, a man to a man, stuffed with all honorable virtues.

It is so, indeed; he is no less than a stuffed man.

Leonato. You must not, sir, mistake my niece. There is a kind of merry war betwixt Signior Benedick and her.

Who is his companion now? He hath every month a new sworn brother.

Messenger. He is most in the company of the right noble Claudio.

O Lord, he will hang upon him like a disease. He is sooner caught than the pestilence, and the taker runs presently mad. God help the noble Claudio if he hath caught the Benedict.

Messenger. I will hold friends with you, lady.

Do, good friend.

Benedick. If Signior Leonato be her father, she would not have his head on her shoulders for all Messina, as like him as she is.

I wonder that you will still be talking, Signior Benedick; nobody marks you.

BENEDICK: What, my dear Lady Disdain! Are you yet living?

Is it possible Disdain should die while she hath such meet food to feed it as Signior Benedick? Courtesy itself must convert to Disdain if you come in her presence.

Benedick. The is courtesy a turncoat. But it is certain I am loved of all ladies, only you excepted; and I would I could find in my heart that I had not a hard heart; for truly I love none.

A dear happiness to women! They would else have been troubled with a pernicious suitor. I thank God and my cold blood, I am of your humor for that. I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me.

Benedick. God keep your ladyship still in that mind, so some gentleman or other shall escape a predestinate scratched face.

Scratching could not make it worse and ‘twere such as face as yours were.

Benedick. I would my horse had the sped of your tongue. But keep your way, i’ G-d’s name! I have done.

You always end with a jade’s trick. I know you of old

Antonia. I saw him not

How tartly that gentleman looks! I never can see him but I am heartburned an hour after.

Hero. He is of a very melancholy disposition.

He were an excellent man that were made just in the midway between him and Benedick. The one is too like an image and says nothing, and the other too like my lady’s eldest son, evermore tattling.

Leonato. Then half Signior Benedick’s tongue in Count John’s mouth, and half count John’s melancholy in Signior Benedick’s face-

With a good leg and a good foot, Uncle, and money enough in his purse, such a man would win any woman in the world, if he could get her good will.

Leonato. By my troth, Niece, thou wilt never get thee a husband if thou be so shrewd of thy tongue.

Lord, I could not endure a husband with a beard on his face.

Leonato. You may light on a husband that hath no beard.

What should I do with him? Dress him in my appeal and make him my waiting gentlewoman? He that has a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man; and he that is more than a youth is not for me; and he that is less than a man, I am not for him.

Leonato. Well then, go you into Hell?

No; but to the gate, and there will the Devil meet me like an old cuckold with horns on his head, and say, “Get you to Heaven, Beatrice. Here’s no place for you maids.”

Antonio. Well, Niece, I trust you will be ruled by your father.

Yes, faith. It is my cousin’s duty to make cursy and say, “Father, as it please you.” But yet for all that, Cousin, let him be a handsome fellow, or else make another cursy and say, “Father, as it please me.”

Leonato. Well, Niece, I hope to see you one day fitted with a husband.

Not till God make men of some other metal than Earth.

Antionio. At a world I am not.

Will you not tell me who told you so?

Benedick. No, you shall pardon me.

Nor will you not tell me who you are?

Benedick. Not now.

That I was disdainful, and that I had my good wit out of the “Hundred Merry Tales” Well, this was Signior Benedick that said so.

Benedick. What’s he?

I am sure you know him well enough.

Benedick. Not I, believe me.

Did he never make you laugh?

Benedick. I pray you, what is he?

Why he is the Prince’s jester, a very dull fool. Only his gait is in devising impossible slanders. None but libertines delight in him!

Benedick. When I know the gentleman, I’ll tell him what you say.

Do, do. We must follow the leaders.

Don Pedro. Come, I say, come; you have lost the heart of Signior Benedick.

Indeed, my lord, he lent it me awhile, and I gave him use for it, a double heart for his single one. Marry, once before he won it of me with false dice; therefore your Grace may well say I have lost it.

Don Pedro. You put him down, lady; you have put him down.

So I would not he should do me, my lord, lest I should prove the mother of fools. I have brought Count Claudio, whom you sent me to seek.

Claudio. Neither, my lord.

The Count is neither sad, nor sick, nor merry, nor well; but civil Count, civil as an orange, and something of that jealous complexion.

Leonato. Count, take of me my daugther, and with her my fortunes. His Grace hath made the match, and all grace say amen to it…

Speak, Count, ‘tis your cue.

Don Pedro. In faith, lady, you have a merry heart.

Yes, my lord; I thank it, poor fool, it keeps on the windy side of care. My cousin tells him in his ear that he is in her heart.

Claudio. And so she doth, Cousin.

Good Lord, for alliance! Thus goes everyone to the world but I. I may sit in a corner and cray, “Heigh-Ho for a husband”

Don Pedro. Lady Beatrice, I will get you one.

I would rather have one of your father’s getting. Hath your Grace ne’er a brother like you? Your father got excellent husbands, if a maid could come by them.

Don Pedro. Will you have me, lady?

No, my lord, unless I might have another for working days; your Grace is too costly to wear every day. But I beesech your Grace pardon me. I was born to speak all mirth and no matter.

Don Pedro. Your silence most offends me, and to be merry best becomes you, for out of question you were born in a merry hour.

No, sure, my lord, my mother cried; but then there was a star danced, and under that was I born, Cousins, G-d give you joy!

Benedick. MONOLOUGE

Against my will I am sent to bid you come in to dinner.

Benedick. Fair Beatrice, I thank you for your pains.

I took no more pains for those thanks than you take pains to thank me. If it had been painful, I would not have come.

Benedick. You take pleasure, then, in the message?

Yea, just so much as you may take upon a knife’s point You have no stomach, signior? Fare you well.

Hero. If it proves so, then loving goes by haps. Some cupid kills with arrows, some with traps.

What fire is in mine ears? Can this be true? Stand I condemned for pride and scorn so much? Contempt, farewell! And maiden pride, adieu! No glory lives behind the back of such. And, Benedick, love on; I will requite thee, Taming my wild heart to thy loving hand. If thou dost love, my kindness shall incite thee To bind our loves up in a holy band; For others say thou dost deserve, and I Believe it better than reportingly.

Hero. Good morrow, Coz.

Good morrow, Sweet Hero

Hero. Why, how now? Do you speak in the sick tune?

I am out of all other tune, methinks, ‘Tis almost five o’clock, Cousin; ‘tis time you were ready. By my troth, I am exceeding ill. Heigh-Ho!

Hero. There, you prick’st her with a thistle.

Benedictus? Why Benedictus? You have some moral in this Benedictus?

Margaret. Monologue

What place is this that thy tongue keeps?

Benedick. How doth the lady?

Dead, I think. Help, Uncle! HERO! Why Hero! Uncle! Signior Benedick! Friar!

Leonato. O fate, take not away they heavy hand! Death is the fairest cover for her shame that may be wished for.

How now, Cousin Hero!

Benedick. Sir, sir, be patient, For my part, I am so attired in wonder, I know not what to say.

O, on my soul, mu cousin is belied!

Benedick. Lady, were you her bedfellow last night?

No, truly, not; although, until last night, I have this twelvemonth been her bedfellow.

Benedick. Lady Beatrice, have you wept all this while?

Yea, and I will weep a while longer.

Benedick. I will not desire that.

You have no reason. I do it freely.

Benedick. Sure I do believe your fair cousin is wronged.

Ah, how much might the man deserve of me that would right her.

Benedick. Is there any way to show such friendship? I do love nothing in the world as well as you.

I was about to protest I loved you.

Benedick. And do it with all thy heart

I love you with so much of my heart that none is left to protest.

Benedick. Come, bid me do anything for thee.

Kill Claudio.

Benedick. Ha! Not for the wide world!

You will me to deny it. Farewell!

Benedick. Tarry, sweet Beatrice-

I am gone, though I am here; there is no love in you. Nay, I pray you let me go.

Benedick. Beatrice-

In faith, I will go!

Benedick. We’ll be friends first.

You dare be friends with me than fight with mine enemy?

Benedick. Is Claudio thine enemy?

Is he not approved in the height of a villian, that hath slandered, scorned, dishonored my kinswoman? O That I were a man! What, bear her in hand until they come to take hands; and then, with public accusation, uncovered slander, unmitigated rancor- O God that I were a man! I would eat his heart in the market place.

Benedick. Hear me, Beatrice.

Sweet Hero, she is wronged, she is slandered, she is undone.

Benedick. Bea-

He is now as valiant as Hercules that only tells a lie, and swears it. I cannot be a man with wishing, therfore I will die a woman with grieving.

Benedick. Tarry, good Beatrice. By this hand, I love thee.

Use it for my love some other way than swearing by it.

Benedick. Think your soul the Count Claudio hath wronged Hero?

Yea, as sure as I have a thought or a soul.

ACT V, SCENE 2

What hath passed between you and Claudio?

Benedick. Only foul words and thereupon I will kiss thee

Foul words is but foul wind, and foul wind is but foul breath, and foul breath is noisome. Therefore I will depart unkissed.

Benedick. Then I must tell thee plainly, Claudio undergoes my challange. I Pray thee now tell me, for which of my bad part didst thou first fall in love with me?

For them all together. But for which of my good parts did you first suffer love for me?

Benedick. Suffer Love! A good epithet. I do suffer love indeed, for I love thee against my will.

In spite of your heart, I think. Alas, poor heart! If you spite it for my sake, I will spite it for yours, for I will never love that which my friend hates.

Benedick. Thou and I are too wish to woo peaceably. And now tell me, how doth your cousin?

Very Ill.

Benedick. And how do you?

Very Ill too.

URSULA monolouge

Will you go here this news, signior?

Benedick. Soft and fair, friar. Which is Beatrice?

I answer to that name.

Benedick. Do you not love me?

Why no; no more than reason, Do not you love me?

Benedick. A miracle! Heres our hands against our hearts. Come, I will have thee, but, by this light, I take thee for pity.

I would not deny you; but, by this good day, I yield upon great persuasion, and partly to save your life, for I was told you were in consumption.