BFP 1

CORIE: Well…how about that, Mr. “This is going to be a fiasco tonight”? …He’s taking her all the way out to New Jersey…at two o’clock in the morning… That’s what I call “The Complete Gentleman.” up the stairs into the bedroom.) He hasn’t even given a thought about how he’s going to get home… Maybe he’ll sleep over… Hey, Paul, do you think…? No, not my mother… Then again anything can happen with the Sheikh of Budapest… Boy, what a night… Hey! I got a plan. Let’s take the bottle of scotch downstairs, ring all the bells and yell “Police” …Just to see who comes out of whose apartment… Paul? …What’s the matter, darling…? Don’t you feel well?

What a rotten thing to do… To your own mother.

CORIE: What?

Do you have any idea how she felt just now? Do you know kind of a night this was for her?

CORIE: It’s not over yet.

You didn’t see her sitting here two minutes ago. You were upstairs with that Hungarian Duncan Hines… Well, she was miserable. Her face was longer than that trip we took tonight.

CORIE: She never said a thing to me.

She’s too good a sport. She went the whole cock-eyed way… Boy, oh boy…dragging a woman like that all the way out to the middle of the harbor for a bowl of sheep dip.

CORIE: It was Greek bean soup. And at least she tasted it. She didn’t jab at it with her knife throwing cute little epigrams like, “Ho, ho, ho… I think there’s someone in there.”

That’s right. That’s right. At least I was honest about it. You ate two bowls because you were showing off for Al Capone at the next table.

CORIE: What are you so angry about, Paul?

I just told you. I felt terrible for your mother.

CORIE: Why? Where is she at this very minute? Alone with probably the most attractive man she’s ever met. Don’t tell me that doesn’t beat hell out of hair curlers and the Late Late Show.

Oh, I can just hear it now. What sparkling conversation. He’s probably telling her about a chicken cacciatore he once cooked for the High Lama of Tibet and she’s sitting there shoving pink pills in her mouth.

CORIE: You never can tell what people talk about when they’re alone.

I don’t understand how you can be so unconcerned about this.

CORIE: Unconcerned… I’m plenty concerned. Do you think I’m going to get one wink of sleep until that phone rings tomorrow? I’m scared to death for my mother. But I’m grateful there’s finally the opportunity for something to be scared about… What I’m really concerned about is you!

Me? Me?

CORIE: I’m beginning to wonder if you’re capable of having a good time.

Why? Because I like to wear my gloves in the winter?

CORIE: No. Because there isn’t the least bit of adventure in you. Do you know what you are? You’re a watcher. There are Watchers in this world and there are Do-ers. And the Watchers sit around watching the Do-ers do. Well, tonight you watched and I did.

Yeah… Well, it was harder to watch what you did than it was for you to do what I was watching.

CORIE: You won’t let your hair down for a minute. You couldn’t even relax for one night. Boy, Paul, sometimes you act like a…a…

What…) A stuffed shirt?

CORIE: I didn’t say that.

That's what you're implying.

CORIE: That’s what you’re anticipating. I didn’t say you’re a stuffed shirt. But you are extremely proper and dignified.

I’m proper and dignified? When…? When was I proper and dignified? .

CORIE: All right. The other night. At Delfino’s… You were drunk, right?

Right. I was stoned.

CORIE: There you are. I didn’t know it until you told me in the morning. You're a funny Kind of drunk. You just sat there looking unhappy and watching your coat.

I was watching my coat because I saw someone else watching my coat… Look, if you want, I’ll get drunk for you sometime. I’ll show you a slob, make your hair stand on end.

CORIE: It isn’t necessary.

Do you know… Do you know, in P. J. Clarke’s last New Year’s Eve, I punched an old woman? …Don’t tell me about drunks,

CORIE: All right, Paul.

When else? When else was I proper and dignified?

CORIE: Always. You’re always dressed right, you always look right, you always say the right things. You’re very close to being perfect,

That’s…that’s a rotten thing to say.

CORIE: I have never seen you without a jacket. I always feel like such a slob compared to you. Before we were married I was sure you slept with a tie. Re

No, no. Just for very formal sleeps.